How to deal with PG co-workers....

dna · 04-19-2006, 01:01 AM

Hope ya'll can help me realize I am being a giant baby about this ...

Here goes...

One of my co-workers is just over her first trimester and told everyone at 10 weeks I believe (its going to be a LONG 6 months) anyways we are waiting for our daughter from China and there has been some unexpected delays (like 6-8 months worth) and well...its hard...

So her very attitude is "I'm pregnant and your NOT" and its driving me insane...every conversation is about how this or that is happening and first dayshift I get a frikin ultrasound shoved in my face and then have to listen about how this lady at her clinic was HUGE with triplets..

I dunno maybe I expect too much..I am happy for her but want her to shut up for 5 seconds ... I hear the same story at least 10 times a day .. *sigh*

Thanks at least for letting me vent ..

Amy

~Traci~ · 04-19-2006, 04:41 AM

Oh no Amy

When I was working my coworker used to say almost daily that if her husband looked @ her the wrong way she'd get pg

If it goes on much longer you may just have to tell her that you don't want to hear it anymore. Unfortunately, she may not listen b/c some people are just insensitive

{{{{HUGS}}}}
Traci

Calantha · 04-19-2006, 04:20 PM

I don't have any advice, I never know how to deal with people like that. Thankfully I'm not employed so I usually run into it in situations where I can just remove myself. I just wanted to offer you a *hug* and say I hope she gets over herself soon. Maybe next time she shoves an ultrasound in your face, you could print out the CCAA website page with the current status on it and shove that in her face?

saluki_fan · 04-20-2006, 09:37 PM

dna - I have a really neat picture - it's an "ultrasound" with the word CHINA printed across it. You can show THAT to her! If you PM me with your email address I'll send it to you. (Same for anyone else who is interested.)

Bertiebugg · 04-20-2006, 10:17 PM

I tell people we're expecting also and the only difference is that you are not going through the physical changes in your body and there is no specific timeline. Same emotional feelings, same preparations, same outcome different routes of getting there! You're an expecting mother you can let her know that, give her updates when she brings up her pregnancy. Talk about how hard it is to wait and how you can't wait to hold your child in your arms and be the mother that you are, let her see that you're expecting too.

I've learned this even though we dont have our child yet, or know who our child would be, my husband and myself are expecting parents! We just have a different route, and I talk about my child(ren) to everyone, my coworkers ask me all the time how things are going and if we have moved to the next step of the process.... they treat me like I'm expecting because I am just not carrying the child in my body, but in my heart.

Best of luck you to in your situation huggzzzz

dna · 04-20-2006, 10:30 PM

Hey Saluki thanks for that but I have it...but you are right I SHOULD do that..maybe put it on my locker or something !!

Bertie I have tried...I get dismissed like it doesnt matter and what I am going thru isnt important AND she talks down to me like "well when you are pregnant your body speeds up and this is why I was up at 3 in the morning wanting something to eat" like crap I was up too !!
Plus I dont like to talk about it unless I am asked becuz I dont want to be annoying to everyone else here especially with the extended wait times...I just dont know *sigh*

samstars · 04-22-2006, 02:48 PM

Amy

I don't really have any good advice. I work in a building with 125 other women. In the last year we have had ten babies born with more on the way. Each pregnancy has been met with much ado and a big Baby Shower. I have selfishly missed everyone of the showers on purpose but one. The one I did go to was an accident. I was late going to lunch and they had the shower earlier than most. I ask them how they are doing and make sure I have somewhere to go right away. I cry after every shower and pine a little after each birth. I ooh and aah when the babies are brought in and put on the best face I can.

My husband said to me the other night that he was surprised no one has thrown us an adoption shower yet. My reply "who wants to give us adopting a 11 yr old a shower when showers can be given for babies"

So that being said you are going to be a mommy, God has just made your pregnancy very special that is how I look at it or at least try.

Hugs to you.

Stacy

Sister66 · 04-22-2006, 03:47 PM

It's NOT selfish to skip baby showers if you want/need to.

Most people aren't sensitive to the issues that women with infertility face, the same is true for adoption. I am sure you know that not all pregnant women are so annoying with being pregnant but it doesn't help that some are. I would avoid her as much as possible. I agree with bringing up your adoption EVERY time she mentions her pregnancy or even talk about your DS & maybe she will tired of your stories and leave you alone! Some people just don't get it

ETA - I don't think you are being a giant baby, just a woman with feelings and emotions like everyone else.

Angela
(waiting to adopt)

dna · 04-22-2006, 04:13 PM

Your right..she doesnt "get it" she is way too self centered and annoying...

However I have lived to tell the story of many other co-workers pregnancies at work and they have been fabulous and its not that they were sensitive to me its just they took it all in stride and didnt make it a point everytime they walked by someone to say "hey watch out ! pregnant lady coming thru !!!"

I love pregnant ladies on a whole I love looking at their bellies and touching if they let me

Sister66 · 04-22-2006, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dna

Your right..she doesnt "get it" she is way too self centered and annoying...

However I have lived to tell the story of many other co-workers pregnancies at work and they have been fabulous and its not that they were sensitive to me its just they took it all in stride and didnt make it a point everytime they walked by someone to say "hey watch out ! pregnant lady coming thru !!!"

I love pregnant ladies on a whole I love looking at their bellies and touching if they let me

as long as you ask first

blech on the announcement thing, that's just grrrrrr!

Calantha · 04-22-2006, 04:45 PM

I've skipped the vast majority of baby showers for people I know. The only one I made myself go to was a lady from church, and in the end that turned out to be an amazing blessing because she was VERY sensitive to what I was going through (this was during fertility treatments before Sam) and I got a great friend out of the deal because she really appreciated me being there more than most. She's since had 2 other kids and moved across the country and we are still great friends.
And Stacey, you totally deserve a shower. You're getting a new little person in your family just like everyone else, the difference is, your little person has missed out on 11 years worth of parties. I'd throw you one and invite all the Chicago area cysters if you were still here. Heck, throw yourself one and invite the Indiana cysters! *big hugs*

Lisa67 · 04-22-2006, 10:35 PM

Well Amy, you give me her name and address and I'll go set her straight myself!! lol No one is going to make my friend feel so uncomfortable or else!!

Seriously, though, I don't think it's right that she feels so inclined to act like she is the only one expecting. My sil used to act like she was the only woman ever to get pg and give birth--it was extremely annoying!!! I would just ignore her when she would go on about herself.

I hope she realizes soon how insensitive she is being. Humph! No one upsets my buddy!

((((AMY))))

skiboo · 04-23-2006, 06:11 AM

((hug)) I can totally sympathize. Insensitive pregnant co-workers can make life miserable. My colleague announced her pregnancy when she was just 6 weeks along and we were still waiting to see if we would ever bring Alex home. She stood in MY cubicle, gathered everyone around and made the announcement by saying she and her husband had decided to start trying next month but OOOPs it had already happened and they didn't even know it. All my colleagues in MY cubicle congratulating her and carrying on... I almost exploded on the spot.

This is the woman who witnessed me burst in to tears when the doctor called me at work to say my one and only pregnancy was ectopic and the baby had stopped growing... the same woman who witnessed many months of hormonal imbalances while I did infertility treatments... the same woman who knew I was in the midst of a crisis in my adoption...

Blah... sorry to hijack. I just so know what you mean about how some women become insensitive to others the minute they find out they are pregnant. Her pregnancy was the longest 9 months of my life...

I hope your colleague becomes more sensitive as time goes on or you can find a way to cope better than I did. :hug

dna · 04-27-2006, 03:02 PM

oh skiboo you didnt hijack I am glad to hear from you ! I know what you mean about this being the longest 9 months chances are she will have her baby before we get home with ours and she is due in OCTOBER *sigh* but you know about delays too ...

THanks for appearing how is your wee one doing ?

mauramae · 04-29-2006, 04:36 PM

There are incensitive people all over the world. I don't think it's malicious, I just think that they are self-centered. Obviously, if they know your situation, they should consider your feelings when making comments. I feel sorry for them because they sound insecure.

I haven't been on this site for about a month. Just wanted the update. Why are you being delayed 6 - 8 months? How long is it taking in total?