Hi Everyone,
Just wondering, how did you know it was the right time for you to adopt?
I recently heard a statistic that something like upwards of 60% of pregnancies were unplanned. With PCOS, everything generally needs to be more thought out (be it ttc or adoption), thus one might speculate that we put more consideration in prior to adding children to our lives. If you're comfortable sharing, I'm curious as to how you knew the timing was right.
Well, I always wanted kids so after I was married I knew basically for me it was the right time...lol...but for dh...that took over 2.5 years to get comfy with the thought of ttc and then adoption well, that took a little more time...but I think it was rushed b/c I was in the mode of where is our child going to come from and I had tunnel vision...we were called from a cousin about a possible situation and that really did jump start it all...through that we connected with another cyster that it didn't work out and then yet another one where the bm had actually chose us, but the agency was just so overwhelming wanting the whole fee then and we just couldn't move everything around...anyhow, we were ginally matched and successful at the end of May last year and our ds was born the 3rd of July...
O.k. I am going to say this and please don't think that this is going to sound mean or anything but my dh was happy and all that ds was here and in love with him but it took him a little while longer to get used to everything that changed...we had a huge talk when ds was 6 mos old...he told me that we would of adopted just not then...he told me that he thought that I was settling on anything...and he didn't understand my thinking...I would love my child I didn't care about the color or anything....but anyhow, then it finally clicked with him...ds is our child...it took another means for him to come here but he is here...and that is all that matters...and we are so loving being parents esp. to our little bundle of energy...
Anyhow, that's my story...but I am going to say this....you have to be on board...you both have to be on board...or it won't work...
Thanks for the honesty as well as sharing your experience! We're very excitied to get started on the process, but want to make sure that *everything* is in order first. I hate to say it, but it makes me a bit jealous of people that can conceive naturally. While I always knew I wanted to adopt (even as a kid, before knowing I had PCOS), the process (forms, home studies etc) seems sooooo much more taxing than just the organic process of having a child.
We're thinking that we'll go through the state for adoption (most of the agencies seem to charge and arm and a leg) and hope that all goes smoothly (I had heard that this can be lengthy). Your baby is adorable and I'm glad to hear everything worked out well for you!
My husband and i had only been married a little over a year when we decided to start the process, we both had always talked about kids from the beginning and we knew i had a problem and just decided adoption was the way to go we could figure out the rest later... I was working at Target and he was working as a machine operator at factory but we really wanted a child (i married a jerk at 19 and had a baby she was born at 25 weeks and died 3 weeks later) i hadn't had a period in about 4 years so i knew i had PCOS and also knew I wasn't going to get pregnant so we decided to look into adoption. We didn't own our home (we still rent an apartment) we weren't pulling down a huge amount of money enough to support a child and us ad that was about it. so we started the whole process probably not in the ideal situation but they approved us and we got placement of a then 2.5 year old (now shes 3). were not finished yet because her biological mother still has her parental rights until court in September (she doesn't understand or believe that she is not able to care for her) but thats my story in a nut shell! also our adoption cost us only $1500 so before you pick an agency call every one close to you and get the pricing because for the exact same type of adoption some wanted $20,000 (insane!) Now were in a better situation and adoption fees are refundable for up to $10,000 when you are getting a child that was previously in foster care (we only spent the $1500 and a few things here and there) but as soon as we get our refund were starting the whole process over or at least setting it aside for us to adopt again!
__________________
Janice (24) Johnny (27)
Were Adopting!
Our home study was approved October 1st 2008
Got called about a child in early November
Got placement December 27th 2009
as of July 16th 2009 were still waiting for our TPR hearing (September 10th)
Official TPR November 5th 2009!
1 angel in heaven born December 13th 2003 at 25 weeks, She lived 3 weeks...
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My husband and i had only been married a little over a year when we decided to start the process, we both had always talked about kids from the beginning and we knew i had a problem and just decided adoption was the way to go we could figure out the rest later... I was working at Target and he was working as a machine operator at factory but we really wanted a child (i married a jerk at 19 and had a baby she was born at 25 weeks and died 3 weeks later) i hadn't had a period in about 4 years so i knew i had PCOS and also knew I wasn't going to get pregnant so we decided to look into adoption. We didn't own our home (we still rent an apartment) we weren't pulling down a huge amount of money enough to support a child and us ad that was about it. so we started the whole process probably not in the ideal situation but they approved us and we got placement of a then 2.5 year old (now shes 3). were not finished yet because her biological mother still has her parental rights until court in September (she doesn't understand or believe that she is not able to care for her) but thats my story in a nut shell! also our adoption cost us only $1500 so before you pick an agency call every one close to you and get the pricing because for the exact same type of adoption some wanted $20,000 (insane!) Now were in a better situation and adoption fees are refundable for up to $10,000 when you are getting a child that was previously in foster care (we only spent the $1500 and a few things here and there) but as soon as we get our refund were starting the whole process over or at least setting it aside for us to adopt again!
I need to let you know about the adoption tax credit... If the child was adopted out of foster care, and gets a subsidy, you will be eligible for the whole tax credit. If you are not getting a subsidy, you can claim any monies spent on the adoption. also it is a tax credit... if you already get all of your taxes back at income tax time, you won't get anything extra back, because it's not a refundable credit. If anyone has any questions about the tax credit please let me know...
right. the way i was told is that you get the full amount back if you file it the right year like for us if we finalize by the end of the year we can claim it in next years taxes if we finalize it next year it goes on the year after its not retroactive. is that what you meant?
__________________
Janice (24) Johnny (27)
Were Adopting!
Our home study was approved October 1st 2008
Got called about a child in early November
Got placement December 27th 2009
as of July 16th 2009 were still waiting for our TPR hearing (September 10th)
Official TPR November 5th 2009!
1 angel in heaven born December 13th 2003 at 25 weeks, She lived 3 weeks...
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right. the way i was told is that you get the full amount back if you file it the right year like for us if we finalize by the end of the year we can claim it in next years taxes if we finalize it next year it goes on the year after its not retroactive. is that what you meant?
yes, it will roll over for an additional 5 years(6 years total) until it is used up. and you'll be happy to know the if you will be claiming this year as your first year, the credit is just over 12000 now.
We have always had to owe so that tax credit was a God send b/c we took a hit from the monies pull from 401k...this year I hope again that we get everythign that we paid in...it is greatly needed!
How did you know it was the right time? 
