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Old 05-19-2008, 12:09 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default How do I deal....

I just found out that my best friend is pg. They are out of town so I offered to feed her dog, when I went into her house, there are pregnanct magazines and baby books and her u/s pic all laying next to the dogs meds. It looks as though she is as far along as I would have been if I had not m/c'd. I love her to death, she is like a sister and we have always wanted to be pg at the same time. This is gonna be so hard, I want to be there for her but it hurts so much to know that our babies would have been born within days to weeks of each other. How do I do this?
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Old 05-19-2008, 12:53 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I don't know what to say except that it is going to be hard. Really hard. Try to look towards the future and I know that this sounds bad but you may not be able to be happy for her or share a lot of her pregnancy with her and that is OK. If you need to distance yourself a little bit it is OK.
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Old 05-19-2008, 03:14 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I'm sorry about your loss, and the situation... and I know what you must be going through.

My best friend is pregnant too, and I got pregnant a month after her and lost mine. She's still pregnant. It's hard, I know what you're feeling... and it's okay if you need to distance yourself at times... that's what I've been doing with my friend. I sent her an email explaining what was going on, and told her to give me some time... she hasn't called me, so I know she understands. We have to do what's best for ourselves in the long run. You need time to grieve, and heal, and sometimes being around pregnant woman is hard enough, but when you know that it's where you should be... well, it's more difficult, and it reminds us of what we should have, but don't.

At the same time it's okay to be there for her, but remember that if you ever need a minute to step back, you should do it. A good friend should understand that. It's tough.

(*hugs*)
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Old 05-19-2008, 03:48 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Turtle girl i am so sorry to hear about your loss hun. I really hope there would be a way not to have these thoughts. It's natural. remember we are here when u need someone to talk to
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Old 05-21-2008, 03:53 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Turtlegirl, I am so sorry for your loss, this is horrendous for you! I can't offer any advice, as I am going through the same thing at the moment. All I can tell you is what I'm doing-taking a step back, I don't know what else to suggest. My friend is at the same stage now as I was at this time last year, just before I miscarried. If we are good enough friends, we will survive this. If not, well, I have to look after myself right now, and so do you. Good luck x
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Old 05-25-2008, 03:46 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Old 05-25-2008, 08:33 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Sorry for your loss. I suggest letting her know it may be hard for you in the future due to your loss. If you need to take time for yourself, the do so.
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