How do I decide? M/C natural or DnC?

jnmanderson · 09-29-2005, 02:43 PM

Hi ladies -

went to dr yesterday for 2nd u/s and I was 9.5 weeks along and baby stopped developing around 6 weeks and of course no hb. I was so in shock yesterday that I told the dr I wanted to m/c naturally but after yesterday and now today I'm not sure. I feel so confused and have no idea how to make this kind of decision.

If have a D n C it will be scheduled for Monday - which in some means will be nice is my mom is here on vacation (she lives in Colorado and I live in Michigan) and will be with me. If I wait to have natural m/c I'm seeing it can take up to 3 weeks and some woman have still had to have D n C after.

Any advise you can offer would be greatly appreciated! I've read through a lot of posts and still feel confused and don't know how to make this kind of decision.

TIA!

cleococo · 09-29-2005, 02:54 PM

Hello Tia,

I am sorry you are going through this.

I have been through both and it is a personal decision. If you are not bleeding yet, it may take some time for a natural miscarriage which can be painful and uncomfortable.

With my D&C my situation was similar to yours (baby stopped growing) and after discussing with my doctor decided the D&C would offer closure for us. I had my D&C with my second miscarriage and think I made the right choice.

You are lucky you will have your mom there to support you either way.

I hope this helps.
(((hugs))) Laura

JESS4HOUSTON · 09-29-2005, 03:04 PM

I really didnt have a choice it just happened but my Dr wanted to still do a D&C and I decided against that. Now looking back I wish I would have b/c it happened 3 months ago and I just now finished passing everything I needed to. I know TMI. It was ALOT ALOT of pain physically and emotionally. If I ever in the same boat again and I pray no ever will be I will go for the D&C. I'm so sorry you are having to make this decision and I will keep you in my prayers!! ((((((HUGS)))))))))

Jess

jnmanderson · 09-29-2005, 03:29 PM

Thanks Laura and Jessica!

I hate that any of us have to go through this! It took us 15 months to get pg and then it ended way to early; but of course at the same time I'm glad it happened now rather than when I was further along.

One of the main reasons that I am thinking of the D&C is because I will have the closure and not have to wait for it to happen. Of course I was also thinking about have dr prescribe me a med to bring it on and then I could go natural.

On this board all the woman that have D&C seemed to feel that was the best decision.

Mustard Seed · 09-29-2005, 03:53 PM

Michelle - I'm so sorry for your loss and that you have to be going through this right now. I just went through a similar situation and I chose to m/c naturally. Not that I'm saying that that should be what everyone chooses, but it is just what I did. We found out at 11 wks that the baby hadn't developed past 9 wks and that was on 9/2. Since I was seeing a midwife then, I wasn't prescribed any medication to help the m/c along, but they did recommend some herbs to take. It was hard waiting for the m/c and some days I was ready to give up and schedule a d&c, but I'm glad I didn't (it was nice in a really sad way that my body was able to do one thing on it's own without interventions). After one week of taking the herbs, I started very slowly losing my mucus plug. After two weeks of taking the herbs, I started to spot; and almost exactly 3 weeks to the day after I was told the baby stopped developing, I had the m/c. It was quite painful, but for me the worst pain only lasted about 3 hours. I bled pretty heavy for the 3 days after that, but I'm barely even spotting today.

I would say that if your doctor isn't going to give you any medication or recommend any herbs to help the m/c along, then it might be best to have a d&c. A friend of mine wanted to wait with her m/c but wasn't given anything and after 6 weeks they finally did a d&c. I can't imagine having to wait that long, and I certainly don't want that for you. If you wait and a d&c does have to be scheduled later on, and your dh can't go with you, I would also suggest having the d&c now while your mom is here. I wouldn't want you to have to go through that by yourself since I'm sure it would be a very hard thing to do alone.

Even though I shared what I went through, I hope you know that I think you need to decide what's best for you. Others can give you advice and share their opinions, but keep in mind that that's all it is. You are in my thoughts and prayers...

saluki_fan · 09-29-2005, 04:17 PM

Hi - I am so sorry for your loss. No one should have to make these kinds of choices.

I have been through both (D&C and natural, although the natural ones happened VERY early at 4.5 weeks each time).. It started to happen naturally the first time, when I was at about 10 weeks, but the D&C was scheduled for the next day and I chose to still have it. (My doctor confirmed that it would have taken a while to happen after she finished the operation.) If you are not bleeding yet, it may take some time for a natural miscarriage which can be painful and uncomfortable, and - I admit it - distressing. I kept calling my poor DH in to make him look at what was happening, because I wanted him to understand.

With my D&C my situation was similar to yours (baby stopped growing) and after discussing with my doctor decided the D&C would offer closure for us. When I woke up from the anesthesia, I just felt this sense of relief, that the physical part was OVER and now I could focus on the mental part of the process.

Good luck to you, whichever option you choose. We are all thinking of you.

jnmanderson · 09-29-2005, 04:37 PM

Ladies thank you for sharing your personal stories with me! It does help to hear what others have gone through and how in the end they felt about it. My heart goes out to all of your beautiful brave ladies!

Alenna -

glad to hear that the worst part was only about 3 hours!

Just got off the phone with nurse and my dr won't prescribe any meds to bring on m/c just as yesterday advised to go off progrestrone. I've seen on here many woman posting it took a week or 2 after being off the progrestrone to see anything. That is my problem is that I haven't had any spotting at all, so dr and nurse think it will be 2 or more weeks and they are afarid of infection.

Saluki fan -

I'm just about as far along as you when you had your D&C. I just don't think emotionally I can wait it out and then have the fear that I might still have to have D&C in the end. Since you have been through both for yourself if you had to decide which was the best decision for you?

saluki_fan · 09-29-2005, 05:00 PM

Jmanderson - in retrospect, I can say that the D&C was the best decision for me. I can't begin to even describe the feeling I had when I woke up from being knocked out - just pure relief, almost euphoria, because I know the physical part was done. There are risks to a D&C, so make sure to ask your doctor, but the percentage of issues is VERY low, like 1 or 2%. My doc advised me of all the risks and then said "I've never had this happen to any of MY patients, I am always very careful and would NEVER rush thru a D&C" which made me feel much better.

JuliannePCOS · 09-29-2005, 06:18 PM

((hugs))

Once I stopped my progesterone, I m/c in about a week. I had a D&C to remove my placenta with my first loss, and I was hoping it would happen naturally this last time and it did.

Even with my insurance, my D&C cost me several hundred dollars.... so it was cheaper to have it happen naturally for me this time. I know cost shouldn't be a factor, but it sort of was.

Roonie · 09-30-2005, 12:09 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. I was supposed to have a D & C this last miss because I was further along. But at the last minute changed my mind. The thought of being knocked out scared the hell out of me. I don't react well to anesthesia at all.

I didn't know what I was in for in doing it on my own. I had no meds/pain killers, I was home alone. Nobody told me how painful it was going to be or how much blood loss. I can't tell you what to do. But if I had to do it over, I would have a D & C.

Good luck.

jnmanderson · 09-30-2005, 12:30 PM

Thank you all for the kind words and advise in this difficult time. I wish that for all of us this TTC path as not so tracherous!

While this was never a decision I wanted to make - I had to. I have chosen to go with the D & C and am scheduled for Monday at 1 pm. Couple of reasons why is because since I haven't started spotting or cramping they are telling me could be 2 to 3 weeks before a natural m/c could start (to long and emotional for me). Also because I am 9.5 weeks along they said that it could take 3 to 4 days for me to pass everything and then may have to still have D & C because everything might not clear out.

I guess for myself I just need some closure for myself so that I can begin to heal. I have to admit that I am really nervous about it as it is surgery and I have to go the hospital, operating room, etc. Good thing is both DH and my mom will be there - I'm glad that DH
will have my mom as well as a support for him.

You know one thing I was thinking (little silly I guess) but I wish I knew what the sex of the baby is so I could give it a name.

Mustard Seed · 09-30-2005, 12:59 PM

I'm glad you were able to make a decision that's right for you. And I'm very glad that DH and your mom will be there with you - their support is going to help you a lot. I think you should name the baby if you want to and if that will help you through this. There are plenty of names that are not gender-specific, like Taylor, Jordan, etc. and I have a friend who named the baby she m/c at 11 wks, even though she didn't know the sex.

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers on Monday...

saluki_fan · 09-30-2005, 01:07 PM

Jnmanderson -congrats on reaching the decision that is right for you.

Also, ask your doctor if he/she will consider ordering testing so you can determine the gender of the baby, and to look for chromosome issues...I would hope your doc will consider that if asked.

I'll be thinking of you over the weekend and on Monday. So sorry for your loss.

mtm71401 · 09-30-2005, 01:36 PM

Since you have already decided I am just going to add my support for your decision. I recently had a m/c at 9 weeks. Went in for an u/s and there was no hb and it had stopped growing about 7 weeks. This is my 3rd m/c but only the first to have a d/c. The other two I was BARELY pg. I am so happy I had the d/c for two reasons. One- I did not have to draw out the inevitable. I was able to get in, get it done, and go home knowing that I was now on to the healing phase. Second- the are able to send the tissue off if you have a d/c. I was able to find out that it was a boy (unneccessary info. but I wanted to know) and secondly that the m/c had nothing to do with my body. The other 2 had been due to low progesterone. This time there was a chromosome abnormality. I know this sounds weird but I was relieved to hear that. My dr. said this was a normal thing many women face. I now know that this m/c had nothing to do with my previous problems. I am now facing NORMAL problems. While the loss devastated me, it feels good knowing that next time can be normal.

I know right now none of that matters. Take care of you. I hope you are able to heal (physically and emotionally) quickly. My thoughts will be with you on Monday. I am glad your mother and DH will be able to be there with you!

Gnzls924 · 09-30-2005, 03:59 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts and prayers!

I really think you made the right decision. My miscarriage was much much later in my pregnancy, and it was very disturbing to deal with what was going on with my body afteward as far as the bleeding. It took me two/three weeks for it to stop, and then after a few days of nothing, wouldn't you know it...Aunt Flo showed up. I felt so beat up after the loss, dealing with the reminder was heartbreaking.