How do I help someone with..

missmelanie23 · 03-15-2004, 11:39 AM

I have recently started a new relationship with an awesome girl i've met a little while ago. Thing is I've only recently come out with my sexuality, having dated men all this time because it was i was taught was right. I finally came to terms with things, started coming out, met a wonderful girl, going through my own stuff because coming out his much harder than I thought. I then find out that my new girl has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

I wanted to go forward with the relationship but things then got too overwhelming for me. Facing my feelings towards C. and facing everything else around me made me take a step back.... but i've done this twice now. Told her that i need to take things a bit slower because i feel she's wanting to go full force and I can't handle it just yet.

Well I found out yesterday that my conversations with her and my decision to take a step back, among with other things is stressing her out so much that she's thinking running away. Last thing I want to do is hurt her. Goodness, i feel guilt for making her feel this way.. stressed, not knowing where to go or what to do... but Now that things are all pretty much sorted out for me, how to i prevent from hurting her more with something I may say.

I don't know what to do to make things better. I don't want to lose her.. she's got a lot of what i have been looking for. *sigh*

Can someone offer advice?
Thanks
M

bluedragonfly2000 · 03-15-2004, 02:15 PM

Melanie - Hi I too have ptsd. When I first met my husband I would often "run away" and then come back. I didn't know how to cope with my feelings and fears that I felt safer and more in control when I "ran away". The best thing you can do is ask her about it and be open and honest about how you are feeling. Maybe you could read up about ptsd and so that you will have a better understand about the disorder she has. I hope things work out for you both

take care and stay safe,
Mel

missmelanie23 · 03-15-2004, 02:20 PM

Hi Mel,

Thanks for your reply, I have been googling for PTSD and have found a few sites, but I was wondering if you have any that you could recommend?

Thank for your time

bluedragonfly2000 · 03-15-2004, 02:23 PM

Information about ptsd:
http://health.yahoo.com/health/cente.../96409269.html
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/anxiety/ptsdfacts.cfm
http://www.apa.org/practice/traumaticstress.html
Hope this helps,
Mel