how do you break the news?

avonlady1981 · 10-28-2006, 03:36 AM

i was just wondering how you all break the news to people you are close to...i am having an extremely hard time ADMITING outloud i have PCOS...i have told a few friends and my boss(to explain the doc appts and crying)...but they dont understand and think its no big deal...this makes it soo much harder....i do tell people i have a hormone/insulin issue but i dont dare state the whole name ...i know its bad and i should shout it out loud and embrace it...but i just can't...what have you ladies done to "put it out there"?

tldann67 · 10-28-2006, 03:42 AM

I tell anyone who asks. But it isn't easy because noone understands.
It isn't something most people are familiar with. They just don't get it.
Even my mother never understood. She would tell me it was no big deal, just let nature take its course, what is meant to be is meant to be, whatever is going to happen will happen. And it isnt deadly so get over it.
How would you like to hear that from your own mother?
And this was after the miscarriages and the specialists and all the dr appts.
Sorry I don't have much advice, just be prepared to explain it over and over and over.

CaliHousewife · 10-28-2006, 04:43 AM

no one i ever tell ever knows what it is.. its frustrating! i don't mind if people want to know but i don't go out of my way to talk about it. when i first knew i had it, i told my family and friends ..... haven't really gone into detail about it since... mainly because no one asks and i feel weird talking about it when it seems no one wants to listen??? im not sure if people are scared to ask/talk about it or if they just don't think its a big deal... its weird!

ryanandwendy · 10-28-2006, 05:07 AM

I'm the same way..I don't tell many people..and I hear from my mom "it will happen when it's supposed too" I'm soooo very tired of hearing that! But its funny I work for a grocery store, and I just transfered to a new store, and I was talking to my new boss, and we were talking about children, and I told her that I would have a hard time having them, and she said her too, so then she asked why I couldn't and I said I have PCOS, and she said NO WAY! Me too, it's great to finally know someone in person that has it too, and understands what's I'm going through.

stacey99 · 10-28-2006, 06:07 AM

only a select few people know and i've tried telling my sister, i showed her a pamphlet i had received and she laughed so hard about the excess hairgrowth. and i was so hurt and embarrassed i chose not to tell too many people. my husband knows but he doesn't fully understand. my mother doesn't even know because our relationship is not that strong and she doesn't believe that my body is not working like i would like it, she thinks i'm just lazy and refuse to lose weight. so after all that i choose to keep it mainly to myself.
stacey

CaliHousewife · 10-28-2006, 06:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stacey99

only a select few people know and i've tried telling my sister, i showed her a pamphlet i had received and she laughed so hard about the excess hairgrowth. and i was so hurt and embarrassed i chose not to tell too many people. my husband knows but he doesn't fully understand. my mother doesn't even know because our relationship is not that strong and she doesn't believe that my body is not working like i would like it, she thinks i'm just lazy and refuse to lose weight. so after all that i choose to keep it mainly to myself.
stacey

im so sorry that your family is being so insensitive!! im glad you found this site, its full of supportive sweet ladies!!!

i keep it mainly to myself too... for me people either don't have a clue or do care to have a clue.

i can relate with the husband situation, too!

CaliHousewife · 10-28-2006, 06:14 AM

-edit-

Ratbag · 10-28-2006, 12:08 PM

When I told my Mum I shoved an 8 page booklet in her hand andtold her to read it which she did. When she had read it she just came and hugged me and we had a good cry together. I only hope that this gets her off my back about losing weight, she has said some things that I think she meant to encourage me, but it just hurt eg) "Look at you in this photo (thin), that's the real you. This time next year I hope we've got the real you back"

Blimey who'd have thought being overweight meant you'd had a personality transplant!!!

You kind of have to get used to the fact that not everyone is as understanding as maybe you are. The other thing is that those who don't understand have probably never had to face ill health and it's just that it's alien to them.

catsnack · 10-28-2006, 08:08 PM

When I found out it was at the same time my mom was running in a local election. Like, a day or two before the actual election. I told her but she really didn't seem to care that much.

Funny thing is, she has fibroids and other problems I would consider symptoms, but she never seemed to think to have it checked out on her own. I think I mentioned it to my mother in law too, but other than a casual 'what's that' no one ever really seemd to care.

I guess I don't look at it as a death sentence or anything, I was actually relieved someone actually found something for once. But yes, most people don't know what it is, don't understand and simply don't care. I don't really get worked up about it because unfortunately I guess I'm not surprised.

avonlady1981 · 10-29-2006, 01:34 AM

seems like you all have hit the same wall i did...a serious life-long metabolic/endocrine "derangement"(as i once read)...and loved ones and friends not being supportive...it's kinda a shame...makes me wish i could take it back that i told anyone at all!

avonlady1981 · 10-29-2006, 01:35 AM

except you all !

Happygolucky84 · 10-31-2006, 04:32 PM

The only people I have told that really understand what is going on with my body has been my best friend and that is because she is in the medical field. My family just kinda brushes it off like it is no big deal. My brother told me Saturday night that I should not even bother going to doctors. I tried to explain to him what is going on with my body and he just shrugged. My sister-in-law (brother's wife) knows what it is because her ex-sister-in-law has it. Her reaction was its no big deal they just put you on birth control and the cyst go away. Good God if it were only that simple! (Little did she know I cannot even be put on birth control.) My mother-in-law after doing what she called "extensive research" on PCOS told me that it was no big deal they give me a couple of pills and it goes away! Really!!!!!??? Hmmm.... is that why I have been through pill after pill and test after test and nothing has worked??? It just kills her that she agreed to her son marrying me because she saw me as a baby making machine; now the thought of maybe I might not be able to get pregnant freaks her out!

Oh sorry. This subject hits home with me. I would just tell them what is going on if they act confused suggest they read up on it. I had to explain it all to DH and the more info I had the better he understood. Now he knows why I am so moody, sometimes sex is painful, etc. I just wish they could have found this when I was in high school exhibiting all the symptoms; maybe I would not have hurt so many peoples feelings if they would have known that my mood swings were hormonally charged.

Sorry to all of you whose families/friends just don't get it. *hugs*

Just_Jenn · 10-31-2006, 07:07 PM

I was recently diagnosed too (this month) and I didn't even know what it was until my Doctor suggested testing for it. When my horridly-out-of-whack hormone work-up came back, my Dr. diagnosed PCOS but brushed it off as "really common, nothing to worry about" which astounds me now after I've read up on it!

I told my parents and my husband. My parents didn't really know what to make of it, my husband refuses to talk about it because it "sounds icky...like fungus on your ovaries or something".

None of this has been especially helpful while I'm still trying to digest what it means...so I probably wont be telling anyone else...

other than all you lovely ladies :-)

Squeekers · 11-01-2006, 06:37 PM

honestly i guess for me its no big deal to bring up and talk about. I do get a little flustered when people ask why in 5 years of marriage i havent had any kids yet. But i will just come right out and say what it is, what it means, and what it does. So far i have came across none that has downed me about it. My husband did get a co-worker of his that was poking fun of me cause of my weight, hubby did try to tell him its because of what i have that is doing that. They was living in a fantasy thinking they would marry like a super model woman, and never chose anything less. Hubby then looked at them and told them, it doesnt matter what they look like, if both your hearts "form as one" and the personality is what attracts you as well, then the weight doesnt matter. He loves me for who i am, not how big i am, and how many problems i have. This guy was a high school kid, so i did tell hubby once he got home that night and told me about it, that when your a kid... you think of having your "dream" person... but ya know...thats not how it happens. Hubby isnt my "dream" person..but honestly.. i wouldnt want that person anymore either.

To me, i would rather tell people about PCOS, i want the world to know more about it, so we arent put down because we are big/small... because we can have kids or cant...because we have problems other women dont have. I would rather get on a soap box... in the middle of a street and tell people about it, then have people put down caz of it.

Kristina921 · 11-01-2006, 06:42 PM

I find it easier to explain when I go the route of "metabolic disorder" rather than saying "PCOS". I am IR so I just tell people that I'm pre-diabetic and that it wreaks havoc on my hormones and causes some wacky symptoms blah blah...That explaination seems to work better for me...I try to explain in a way that I think they understand better.