How do you find boyfriends?

shades of grey · 10-17-2003, 01:03 PM

I posted this in the "rant!" section but it's gone now and I want to see what peopel think..

I am 23 never had a boyfriend and probably never will. only weird guys who are the bottom of the barrel ask me out. I have plenty of friends, people seem to like me. But I'm overweight, have facial hair, and am otherwise unappealing to the male gender.

How do you peopel find boyfriends? I know a lot of people on here are married or have a long term relatiionship. I am so jealous!

jana1323 · 10-17-2003, 02:11 PM

Hey Me2, Your thread is still in the rant forum, and there have been some posts today on it. Here is the link:

http://www.soulcysters.net/showthrea...threadid=59019

Dovebyrd · 10-27-2003, 03:01 AM

You don't find boyfriends. You find yourself and that which is supposed to find you, will. Period.

Here is my reply that I also posted on the rant thread....
I see a lot of responses here... and I'm gonna answer anyway...

The thing that most nauseates me here, is listening to your self-pity parties. Get off it! The longer you sit at home and dwell on what you don't have, the longer you will live that very existance.

Einstein said you can't expect to get different results to a problem if you keep using the same tactics.

You want a better life? Create it. No one else will.

You want a happy life? Only YOU can choose to be happy. No one can do it for you.

You want joy? Live it!

I can tell you this, and every woman who has ever had a husband, boyfriend or committed relationship can no doubt agree with me, a MAN doesn't make you happy or fulfill you, NOR is it their job to do so. ONLY YOU CAN DO THAT TO/FOR YOURSELF. They only enhance what it is you already have!

We learned in early elementary science that Like-energy attracts. What you focus on WILL be what comes back to you. PERIOD! Every thought and action you take or make will draw the exact same energy to you. The longer you sit there dwelling on all the negtives in your life, the longer you will live in that existance! Period.

YOu think ANYONE on this board had it easy? Those who are happily married and/or those who were divorced because their so-called devoted men all of a sudden didn't want to deal with their wife's medical problems? You think there is ONE person here who hasn't fought with their self-esteem at one, or all, points along the way.

Everyone here has had doubts. Everyone here has had concerns.

ONLY YOU CAN RISE ABOVE THEM!

Ironically, I see the original poster on this thread said her highest weight was 180ish. ADD ON OVER 100 to that and you will get my highest weight..

and i had men hitting on me like there was no tomorrow!

WHY? BECAUSE WHEN I WALK OUT THAT DOOR, I'M DRESSED IN A WAY THAT MAKES ME (not anyone else) HAPPY! MY HAIR IS DONE AND i HOLD MY HEAD HIGH!!!! And screw what anyone else thinks about me, my weight, my looks, my hair, my symptoms or anything else.

I DO WHAT I WANT TO DO WHEN i WANT TO DO IT. I don't have to be questioned by anyone and I don't have to reply even if they do question me. I don't listen to anyone's platitudes about what they think is best for my life... only i have those answers for myself.

I understand physical manifestations and problems with your body. You don't like something... then fix it. Get a new style., color, clothes... whatever.

Stop thinking 'loser' and think incredibly loving winner!

See your own beauty. No one else will until you do.

Only then will you attract the kind of man that you want anyway.

Recognize all you have to offer someone... and offer it to YOURSELF>.. unconditionally and without negative recourse.

You want to munch.. do it and don't punish yourself.

You want to get your hair done... you deserve it... do it.

You skin needs clearing up.. try a new daily regimen that is different... you might be surprised (like taking 1 tbsp to 1 oz of apple cidar vinagar straight a day.. does WONDERS for your hair, skin and nails!).

You want to lose weight... then do it. If you don't.. that is also ok.. stop beating yourself up for what you aren't doing and honor yourself for what you are.

Your hair is too greasy... ironically .. try washing it LESS>... the less you wash it and allow it's natural oils to build, the healthier your hair will be in the long run... and like shaving (the more you do it, the more you have to), the less often you will have to wash it... and the stronger it will build itself.

You don't like the way you look dressed? Find a new look.

DO whatever it takes to make you feel good about looking in the mirror.

It isn't about a man or companion or significant other. It is about the way you treat yourselves when no one is looking. AND WHEN THEY ARE!

It is only when you finally treat yourself like a Goddess that someone else will be able to do it for you.

Even married, I still go out every single Sat. FOR MYSELF. TO honor myself and treat myself to a nite on the town. I take myself out to the movies. I meet my sister for dessert. I have a darn good time. FOR ME!

You want companionship? Then be companionable! Who would want to go out with someone who is so vain all they can do is think about how bad their lives are because something isn't perfect in their lives.

Face it.... NO ONE HAS A BODY THEY WANT>>> NOT EVEN JULIA ROBERTS. They work hard to get it and keep it that way. WE ALL have symptoms here that we don't want or like or need. But we deal with them.

What makes you think you are any different?

OK... so your still single in your twenties or 30's? SO WHAT????

Enjoy being by yourself then. ONLY THEN WILL IT GET better.

This isn't what you want to hear? OH well too bad, don't read it.

But truth be told, it is only when you can honestly LOVE yourself with all your faults, flaws and imperfections and still treat yourself respectfully that you will meet someone that will treat you the same way.

Otherwise, you aren't worth loving anyway. Men will only see what you put out for them to see.

AND STOP judging men unless you want them to judge you in return. It isn't about marrying the perfect looking guy. It is about choosing the man who treats you with the most respect and honesty!

I won't sit here and tell you it will happen 'eventually'. It will ONLY happen WHEN YOU ARE READY TO TREAT YOURSELF THE WAY YOU WANT OTHERS TO TREAT YOU. OTHERWISE.. IT ISN'T WORTH THEIR TIME.... or yours.

LOVE YOURSELVES LADIES... IMPERFECTIONS AND ALL.

AND stop dwelling on what you don't have and focus on all that you do...

Then THAT energy will start to come back to you.

Live positively, think positively and love positively... and that is what you will get . Period. It's Universal law that like-energy attracts.

I believe in you. Now you believe in yourselves.

I know I am worth everything. DO you?

And a suggestion.. read the book "A Woman's Worth" by Marianne Williamson. Once you can accept all that you are deserving of, then you will get it.

I hope to help, nothing more.

With peace, light and blessings for all... I truly hope you find that which is inside yourself wanting to shine out...