I'm 20 years old, diagnosed with PCOS during my senior year of high school, at 17. At that point, I had sideburns and a few stray hairs on my chin. Today, I feel like a bear and I wish that were an exaggeration. My hirsutism rapidly increased; I have thick, black hair all over my face ( chin, cheeks, sideburns, mustache ), my upper and lower back, my upper and lower abdomen, my chest, my breasts, my legs. I'm noticing new, longer hairs popping up on my shoulders. I'm basically covered; it's disgusting, especially since I've always detested body hair.
I have tried laser, but my hormones are still not under control so the results are limited and I told my mom that I don't want to keep getting painful treatments until my hormones are leveled out so that the hair removal treatments will actually count for something, otherwise it's pointless since it will all grow back.
My question is this: what do you do, whether big or small, to make yourself feel more feminine?
I, personally, don't feel at all like a woman. There have been many nights where I've cried to my mom, saying that it's just a matter of time before I start growing a penis. ( Yes, I know that this is impossible, but it's the principle. ) My self-esteem and body image are both as low as they could possibly be, and I'm just curious to see if any of you ladies have any tips or tricks for giving yourself a little boost.
Sometimes, I'll spend a day giving myself facials and things like that. Usually after I've spent half a day in the shower, ridding myself of as much hair as possible. And that doesn't happen often; it's tiring and time consuming and having to do it actually makes me feel worse.
oh hun I am so sorry it is so bad for you *hugs* um i get my facial hair waxed mostly that alone just makes me feel more like a girl than a man shaving. also getting my hair (on my head LOL) done professionally every cpl of months seems to really help too. oh also i have noticed if i take the time to dres nicer instead of sweats i feel a lil better but of corse the hair is still there. wish there was a magic answer hun.
oh welcome to soul cysters
__________________ dx.pcos 2001
dx.Antiphospholipid syndrome 2004
4 Angel Babies
TWO MIRACLES! Zane Sebastian! May 3rd 2006!!!! Sienna Rayne January 3rd 2008!!!!
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you are not alone
Before I had heard of PCOS I used to think I was supposed to be born a man because I was always larger than kids in my class and I was always so hairy.
I'm now on medication to help control the hair growth and androgens (spiro and bc pills) and I wish I'd have done it 15 years ago.
To make myself feel a little more girlie I get my hair cut & colored, tan, buy some pretty panties, new clothes...new perfume...I've lost about 70 lbs in the last 8 months and I'm loving all the girlie clothes and products available now
Lacey
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Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it ~Bill Cosby
I know exactly how you feel! Before I heard about PCOS I used to wonder if I should have been born a boy because of how hairy I have always been. I feel like a grizzly sometimes. To make myself feel more feminine I will wear cute, dangly earrings and paint my nails and (it might sound kinda corny) but I wear pink clothes to make me feel like a girly-girl! I also like getting my eyebrows waxed. I feel more feminine when my eyebrows are arched and slender. Basically the more I do to kind of spoil myself like paint my nails or wear nice perfume and stuff like that I feel more feminine.
__________________ "Say yes to life, even though you know it may devour you." -Stephen Larsen
i didn't start getting unwanted hair until i was 22 years old. it happened suddenly, and has been devastating. i've always been an extremely feminine girl - people used to call me a "pixie" because i was so small and girlie. but now, even though i'm the same person, i feel like the feminine me is hidden beneath the insecurity and embarassment that the hair causes. however, i've been proactive, and went to my doctor right away, and am now taking spironolactone and yasmin, and i go for electrolysis appointments once a week. it really helps. now, between electrolysis appointments, i only have a few hairs on my chin. it's a long process, but now matter what anyone tells you, there are medical and cosmetic treatments that can really help women with facial hair. keep having faith
I paint my toenails pink. I know I am the only one who really sees them in this weather, but it's nice to have bright pink on my toes when I get into the shower.
And dangly earrings. It's not much, but it's nice to catch yourself in the mirror with a little shimmer and know they are there.
My question is this: what do you do, whether big or small, to make yourself feel more feminine?
I, personally, don't feel at all like a woman.
I come at this from two angles.
1. I wear skirts and I wear my hair long. At 21 if I hadn't done that I'd have been taken for a boy most of the time. No obvious breast development and as hairy as most boys.
2. I make a distinction betwen being female and being feminine. Nowadays I'm much more relaxed about who I am. I'm a woman -- but I could never attain the level of "femininity" that the media would like to portray as what we should have. I'm quite happy to say I'm a woman who has many "male" characteristics. I'm female but not feminine. I'm a fulfilled woman with a husband and large family, but I've got beard growth like a male and I'm flat-chested. I don't need to be feminine to be a fulfilled woman.
There have been many nights where I've cried to my mom, saying that it's just a matter of time before I start growing a penis. ( Yes, I know that this is impossible, but it's the principle. )
I think that we all have our idealized pictures of what a woman should look like. But remember that there's an enormous range of appearance. And there's an enormous "middle ground" between "normal" female and "normal" male. Most women with PCOS tend to be much nearer to male in certain respects. It may not be normal for most females, but it can be normal for us -- wether you're referring to beard growth, restricted breast development -- and yes, it's common for us even to have a significantly larger clitoris than other women.
I try to focus on my features that I do like. They may not be much, but if you have beautiful fingernails, paint them so they stand out. I like my toes and my calves. In the summer, I paint my toenails, wear cute sandals and shorts that go to my knees. This helps me feel less self-conscious about my thighs, but good that I like SOMETHING about my body. I also like hair, so I find cute clips or hairstyles to wear. I've also found if I take more time with my appearance (wear something nicer) it seems to make a difference. Even something as simple as wearing a fitted T with a nice texture instead of the generic sloppy ones makes a world of difference to me.
I'm always nervous about shaving, because my mom told me it makes your hair grow thicker and faster (I know it's debate-able and probably an old-wives tale) but it sometimes makes me feel better to bleach. It makes me feel like someone MAY still notice it, but it's not jumping out there like if it were black.
Don't know if that helps, but just knowing you're not the only one might.
***HUGS***
__________________ Jessica
25y/o
dx 5-2004
married DH 3/3/01
Zoloft 50mg QD
Started Met 500mg BID on 2-17-06 increased to 850mg
BID 8-06
Graduated from Nursing School 5-06!!!
TTC #1 since 6-05
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It's weird... I've actually always been tom boyish. I never wear makeup (except a little face powder)... never wear dresses or skirts. Always have worn t shirts with my hair tied back and jeans. I never really cared for the real girlie stuff until this hair started to really bother me. Now like someone said here I always paint my toenails pink. hehe. And i've been buying tighter fitting jeans and purses. Oh... and I love to go underwear shopping. I guess the hair problems made me want to feel more feminine. I have hair like you though... alllll over my body. I don't have a big problem with facial hair yet but I have hair over my entire back, chest, stomach, thighs, butt... I know how you feel.
I know EXACTLY how you feel, believe me. I too have the dreaded hair issue and have always struggled to feel feminine. Even though I am a girlie-girl. Pink and sparkly is my mantra, I love girlie clothes, I never leave the house without makeup and I am a jewellery/shoes junkie.
Something that always makes me feel "special" is to use yummy shower gels. There's something about smelling yummy that just makes me feel all special and feminine. And if it's pink/red coloured, or comes in a pink/red bottle, all the better!
And don't let anyone EVER tell you you shouldn't want to feel more feminine. If you want to be girlie - then you go for it and girlie yourself up!
I have to say I am really enjoying reading this thread! I too have struggled with my femininity as in my head and heart I KNOW I am a thoroughly feminine woman, but when all this yucky excess hair started appearing where it should not be (in theory) I became very upset. I cried a lot and felt confused, ugly and not sufficiently womanly. I have had laser hair removal which has worked wonders for me (LightSheer is the brand in case anyone is interested and this type of laser should work for almost all hair and skin types). Now I feel like I am controlling my excess hair and for the usual areas, I always go and get waxed. In fact I have an appointment for my first brazilian wax next Saturday and rather than being worried about it, I am quite looking forward to it! I also love things like going to a spa for a massage, manicure, pedicure or facial and although I have never tried it, Indian head massages are apparently the utmost relaxing indulgence. I enjoy clothes shopping (on my own) and buying cute tops, underwear, shoes, jewellery that I know suit me and make me feel sexy, confident and happy. I guess it is important too to re-establish the idea in your head that you are a woman and that feeling feminine is something that is projected outwards, so that people around you also sense that, which is a very rewarding and positive thing, esp for a PCOS lady. I really hope you feel a little better with each day that passes and you can always chat to me on MSN if you ever feel like it. My addy is in my profile. Love and hugs,
How do you help yourself feel feminine? 
I know, its awful isnt it?? I do my face each day. I always wear make up. 
you are not alone 
