How do you let go?

andra · 05-07-2003, 09:00 PM

My husband says he doesn't want to go through another miscarriage, which in turn means he doesn't want to ttc again after this last miscarriage. I cannot tell you how much this hurts me. We are fortunate we were blessed with two beautiful daughters, and I Love them very much, but out of 5 pregnancies, (after 8 1/2 years of infertility) 3 miscarried and my oldest was born at 23 weeks so we almost lost her. So needless to say our journey has been very stressfull. I know how he feels and I don't want another miscarriage either but I can't seem to let go of the urge to have another baby and the only way to guarantee not having one is to not get pg again. How do you let go after all the infertility and miscarriages? How do you get to the point where you have peace and are just greatful for what you were given. I know alot of us have no children or never will have any but I can't seem to accept the idea of never having another child. Maybe I am just being selfish or maybe it is just too soon after the miscarriage to make the decision. If it were up to me I would start ttc right away but DH doesn't feel the same. I would really like to give him a son. Our first mc was a boy and that hurt him deeply as did all of our mc's but I know that it bothers him. Don't get me wrong he is a wonderful father and loves his daughters very much and he says it doesn't matter to him but I know that he would be ecstatic to have a son. How do you work through that? I guess I just needed to get it off my chest.

Thanks for the shoulder,

tallybarry · 05-08-2003, 12:06 AM

i dont really have any answers just wanted to give you a hug and let you know you are not alone. i am facing a similar struggle. after 2 mcs dh really doesnt want to try again either. give yourself some time to heal and then try to talk about it again. good luck!

andra · 05-08-2003, 01:24 AM

Thanks Tallybarry,

I really needed that hug. )))))HUGS(((( to you also. I guess thats why I posted. I am sorry you are going through almost the same thing. I wish that having children wasn't so hard for us cysters but I guess we don't always get what we wish for. Good luck and I hope you husband changes his mind. I think maybe I just need to give mine a little more time we will have to see. If you need to talk please PM me.

thanks again,