how to handle your "best friend" after a miscarriage
I have had this friend named Beth as a best friend for the last 12 years. She had a baby in april and I went to visit. In May I found out that I was pregnant which was a real shocker because it took over 2 yrs and lots of money to help concieve my 2 yr old twins. Knowing all this , she seemed really excited. A week later I miscarried left a message for her to call me back. She called me back after 2 weeks. When I told her what happened , she said " WOW this is ackward, i gotta go" and hung up on me. What the F@#! She then called me about 2 months later and left a message saying she thinks she pregnant again! All excited. Seriously, I was blown away, she called me one more time to see whats new and then asked me to get over to her house for a visit. that was the last time we talked and that was in August.
I am soo annoyed. If she miscarried I would have drove the 1 hr and spent the day with her, called her a few times to see if she needs anything or just want to talk. She aso has one child which is easier to travel with then with 2 toddler twins. Am I making a big deal out of this or should i just let it go and see what happens. I just cant believe she acted like that.
((hugs)) So sorry to hear about your loss... I have had similar responses too.. people just don't under stand.... Not that I would wish a MC on anyone else, but anyone who has never gone through it.. yet alone the Pain of TTC only to MC... couldn't fully understand. I guess I don't expect people to understand, but to be loving, and patient. Sorry your BF is acting this way. I had a friend call me about a month after we lost, and tell me they were expecting.. they tried for one month... and its been hard.... very hard.
You aren't alone... people don't understand, even those we expect to support us. ((hugs)) hope it works out.... I understand your anger and frustration. does your friend understand a little bit of what you were going through at all? Could you talk with her? I guess if I valued the relationship that much.. I would try to enlighten her... but if not... sometimes relationships like that are more harmful then healthy...
((hugs))-- Jill
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It's hard to believe someone could be so hard-hearted! I am sorry your friend has treated you so badly, when you were hurting so much.
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guess if I valued the relationship that much.. I would try to enlighten her... but if not... sometimes relationships like that are more harmful then healthy...
A lot of people did incredibly insensitive things like this to me. For example, my brother never even called to say he was sorry. I called him 3 times to ask if I could go visit him (he lives in the Colorado mountains, and DH thought it would be good for me to spend some time out there to heal) and he didn't return any of my calls. When I confronted my brother about it, he just said "I didn't know what to do." I considered that my personal opportunuty to educate them on how to comfort someone going through pregnancy loss. I told him "Well, NOTHING is not the best option" and directed him to several websites - www.silentgrief.com and www.nationalshareoffice.com. I also made a point of telling people (including DH's insensitive relatives) what they could say and NOT say if they ever knew someone else going through a similar situation in the future.
I'd try to tell your friend what she should do next time, if she ever knows anyone else going through a loss. Decide your next move after seeing how she reacts. If she's not going to be a supportive friend thru hard times as well as good times, then she's not a friend, period.
well, first off, i am so sorry to hear of your loss. ((hugs))
and i must say regarding your best friend...sometimes relationships like that need some time off. if you are at all like my best friend and i, distance is a good thing. her insensitivity was really hurtful to you, and she needs to know that. some people don't know how to handle it when someone close to them has a miscarriage, etc. but handling things that way was just not what you needed. im so sorry.
how to handle your "best friend" after a miscarriage 
A lot of people did incredibly insensitive things like this to me. For example, my brother never even called to say he was sorry. I called him 3 times to ask if I could go visit him (he lives in the Colorado mountains, and DH thought it would be good for me to spend some time out there to heal) and he didn't return any of my calls. When I confronted my brother about it, he just said "I didn't know what to do." I considered that my personal opportunuty to educate them on how to comfort someone going through pregnancy loss. I told him "Well, NOTHING is not the best option" and directed him to several websites - 
