I lost my first pregnancy last Thursday at only 5 weeks. It was very early, but after a year of trying this has been absolutley devastating. I know it is too soon to feel better right now, but I am wondering how long this feeling of depression lasts. I am finding it very hard to even get out of bed in the morning and I am taking long naps every afternoon. I am afraid people are going to think I am ridiculous to be so upset because it was so early in the pregnancy. My husband has been forcing me to eat because I really do not feel like doing anything. I did manage to go back to work today (I have a private office so I did not really have to see anyone). How long did you feel this low? Right now it seems like it will never end.
__________________ Me: 27 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. DH: 27 TTC #1 Since 8/2008 Met 2000mg Round 1: Femara 5 mg cd 5-9, trigger - BFN Round 2: Femara 5 mg cd 5-9 - Missed O Round 3: Femara 5 mg cd 3-7, trigger - BFP! Miscarriage at 5 weeks To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Round #1 (Take 2): Femara 5 mg cd3-7, trigger
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I am so sorry for your loss. I had a few early miscarriages-they were blighted ovums. The first one was 5 years ago and it still hurts. The pain is not as strong as it was but it is still there.
I don't think the pain ever truly goes away. It's just like with any other loss it just fades.
Take your time grieving. If it will help do something to honor your angel baby such as plant a tree or some flowers.
Each loss is unique, and no one can tell you how you should feel about yours, so don't listen. From my experience around here or with local friends and myself, I think the first three months are pretty hard, then there is a turning point. Everyone is on an individual grief journey, but time is helpful to most. Getting the go-ahead to try again is very helpful, which often comes around that time. If you are still not wanting to get out of bed three months from now, I'd assume the hormone crash hasn't let up, and the doc needs to be called. Hopefully that won't be the case, though. But some people end up needing meds to get through the roughest time.
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
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Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
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KitKat - I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. It sort of sucks for us to be meeting this way.
If anyone tells you how long you should be upset for, just ignore them, because it is such a unique thing for each person.
For hubby and I the first two weeks were the hardest. It was all I could do to get through the pain to take the next breath of air. It wasn't that the pain went away - it just got easier to live with. It slowly got easier to take the next breath. To be honest, there were times I wished the pain was still as fresh.
I wish I had the words to say to take away your pain, but I don't think they exist. The loss of Christopher will hurt me for the rest of my life, but I can't say that he would want me to quit living because of it.
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~Christopher Allen Doern~ Born July 4, 2009 @22 weeks to incompetent cervix.
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"The true measure of a life and love is not how long the flame burns here on Earth, it's how strong it burns in the heart. - Tammy Doern
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Thank you for your responses. I do not know anyone who has been through this in real life so it is nice to have the support and advice of ladies who have been there. Even my fellow infertile friends who I normally turn to have never been in this situation. It is hard to feel so alone.
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Round #1 (Take 2): Femara 5 mg cd3-7, trigger
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KitKat...I am so sorry for your loss. I had a m/c at 7wks in April and an ectopic loss last August. I was broken. I still am...I agree with PP that you never really get over it. Time has healed me as well as counseling. I went to see a therapist right away. I thought that people would criticize me too thinking I was over reacting but how do they know how we feel? It is hard for women who haven't experienced it to know how awful it hurts. I made a memory box and put all the u/s pics, my pregnancy journal, and a bottle I got from Motherhood with my purchase and put the box in my nightstand. I still haven't opened that drawer and don't know when I will. You take your time and feel the grief and know it is ok.
I am so sorry for your loss. I miscarried at 8 1/2 weeks, but growth stopped around week 6. I just had my D and C last week and I am still struggling with at least one meltdown a day. I am trying to make myself turn a corner by taking something positive away from this terrible experience. The silver lining to what I've been through is noticing amazing qualities of my husband that I otherwise would never have seen. Watching him throughout this whole experience has made me fall in love with him all over again. He rose to the occasion by taking care of me, listening to me, loving me, cheering me up, and supporting me. He has not mis-stepped once and I feel so lucky to have him by my side. Since this experience has made me realize once again, just how wonderful my husband is, I have started to feel less sad. I have to admit, I am still very depressed about what heppened to me and I worry about future pregnancies, but I'm trying to focus on the positive things I have learned and experienced throughout this whole ordeal. By doing this, I manage to get through each day easier. Maybe by shifting your focus at times too, your depression will lessen day-by-day. Best of luck to you.
You are right Daisy. This has really renewed my love for my husband and my faith in our marriage in a way I cannot even believe. He has been so caring through the whole thing. I think it is easy to lose sight of why we got married in the first place during fertility treatments, and this horrible result has really reminded us how much we mean to one another.
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Round #1 (Take 2): Femara 5 mg cd3-7, trigger
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I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I got pregnant after a year of trying with fertility treatments and also miscarried at 5 weeks back in June. I would agree with everybody else that as time passes, it does get easier. At about the one month mark, I started looking up on-line for what was 'normal' because I was so depressed. I considered several times calling my doctor and seeing if he would prescribe me something but I couldn't even get up the energy to do that.
I find myself the last couple weeks having a good day and something will bring it all back. I was driving in to work a couple weeks ago and "How Do I Live Without You" was on the radio and I just heard a couple seconds of it and that was enough. It was the first song I heard when I started bleeding and finally knew that what the beta levels were saying was what was happening. I really have no clue how my car made it to work; I was just a mess. Things like that are still hitting me at the weirdest times and it's all I can do to keep moving.
Take care of yourself. Once again, I'm so sorry for your loss.
__________________ Diagnosed - 2004
Started TTC - May 2008
i'm so sorry for your loss. i lost isaac in april and even though i'm expecting again, i still cry almost every day. i agree that the pain never goes away. it's been 4 months and although i have good days, i also have bad ones. i try to set something to look forward to every day, but the only thing that helped me at first was talking it out. and crying.
i'm sorry you have to go through this, i'm sorry it will haunt you for life. your baby was special, he was real and you loved him and that changes you. please be good to yourself now, feel what you have to and remember we're here to listen any time.
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Isaac lives in heaven now
April 21st, 2009 BFP 7/6 IT'S A GIRL 10/5
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How long does this last? 
