Hello. While I have been lurking on this site for a while, this is my first post here, so let me introduce myself. My name is Jessica. I was diagnosed with clinical depression in Feb 98, when my now DH was my then BF. At the time I didn't tell him anything about it. I just simply didn't see him for 2 months. I wasn't really seeing anybody then- thats hard to do when you sleep 18+ hours a day. I often thought about what the world would be like if I simply wasn't in it, and the sound of people's voices, especially if they were happy drove me crazy! After an intervention by my college roommates, I went to a counselor and I was put on 150mg of Zoloft a day and after a while things leveled out. I was able to learn about my body and how to take care of myself so I didn't need medication. I was off the Zoloft after only 7-8 months (I was supposed to be on it for at least a year.) A year or two later I was able to tell my BF (now DH) about it.
Fast Forward 6 years. We are now married and trying for a baby. I was dx with PCOS this past February, and was put on Metformin in order to jump start ovulation and help me conceive. After 5 months of being sick to my stomach every day b/c of the Met, I was pregnant. Two weeks ago I miscarried the baby at 11 weeks. Needless to say, I am extremely upset, but am doing okay. I have a few bad days, followed by a good day, and then back to the bad days. But as I look at it, the important thing is that there are good days. And its only been 2 weeks, so I'm not too worried.
My doctor gave me the go ahead to try again as soon as first AF. DH was excited and wanted me to go back on the Met. He was surprised to find out that I didn't want to. I went back to the doc for a follow-up visit and when he asked how I was doing emotionally, and I told him, he suggested waiting a year or so. Neither he, nor I, think I can handle it if I have another loss right now. I know my body pretty well, especially after having dealt with depression for over 6 years. I know that there is no way I can handle the stress/pressure/risks of trying to conceive again- at least not for a while. I would spiral down into a miserable place. I don't ever want to go back to that place again.
How do I make DH understand that I'm not going to just snap out of it, and that my concerns are real? He backed off a bit when he heard that the dr. agreed with me not trying for at least a year, but he has expressed hope that that won't be the case. I don't think that he gets how horrible depression can be.
I know how difficult it can be to have a partner that doesn't understand the intensity of depression.
My suggestion is to write. Write for yourself, like in a journal. It helps you straighten out your thoughts and get out the ones that have been hiding in the back of your brain. Once you've gotten it all out on paper, then talk to your DH. Tell him all your thoughts, feelings and fears. He'll probably realize the complexity of your depression and then be more sympathetic.
I hope things work out for you.
__________________ -diagnosed October 2002
-Meds: Alesse, metformin, Cytomel, Wellbutrin
-light therapy with a goLITE for seasonal depression
-yoga & meditation almost daily, because it makes me feel good
Well SweetPea, I am very sorry for your loss and though I don't know exactly what you are going through as far as that goes, I very much understand having a DH who does not understand.
I have been really frustrated lately because DH does not understand what I am going through. He does not understand why I can't lose weight (I am about 100 pounds overweight), he does not understand why I have to take so many medications and doesn't understand why I have low self-esteem, depression and no sex drive. He doesn't believe in taking medications every day....he does not understand that my longevity and mental well-being depend on these medications.
I don't know about your DH but mine is very stubborn and is very black and white on certain issues and can only see it his way, nobody else's. Sorry, I probably haven't helped much but made it worse...I just wanted you to know you are not alone. Even though they don't understand....we do.
__________________ Mandi-30 Ron-35 Married 6/14/03 DX-2001
Sprintec, HCTZ, Lopressor 200mg, Prozac 20mg, Metformin ER, Byetta
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How to make DH understand? 
