how many of you men were with your woman before she was diagnosed?

tukeetukee · 04-22-2008, 08:25 AM

My DF was with me before my dx, and has been nothing but supportive the whole time. The irst time he saw me naked, I was a size three and now i'm floating in between a 15 and a 17. One time the subject came up, i asked if he even REMEMBERS how I used to look and he said "what do you mean?" And I said "Do you MISS me weighing 100 lbs and not being all hairy? Do you miss me not having to pop a pill ever ten minutes? Do you miss me not being hairrier than you? Not being in pain all the time? Not having stretch marks, not having teensy boobs, not going to doctors all the time?" and he tells me this:
"Come on baby, I wish you would stop worrying about your weight. You HAVENT gotten fat."

....I was like "What size, exactly, do you think I wear?" And he says "definately not more than a 5 or 6."

"And you need the meds, it's no big deal to me that you take them. I want you to take them because you need them.

"You aren't hairy at all baby... I have never seen a hair on you that I didnt love.

"I know you worry that you arent any fun anymore because of the pain, but you are still the rambunctious person I fell in love with.. I just don't want you to hurt anymore. Don't even worry about that pain.

"..........What stretch marks?

"Baby, Those boobies aren't any smaller than they used to be... they're beautiful just like you.

"Those doctors? I dont even worry about the dr. visits because those doctors are going to make you well enough to carry my babies.

"I don't want you to ever worry about your appearance again.. I love you just as you were when we fell in love, just as you are, and just as you will be.. because there's no difference."

I love that boy.

My question for you men (or you women ABOUT your men) is this: Do you guys say stuff like this just to make us feel better, or is my mom right in saying that the first impression sticks and you guys don't see us any differently now that we've been diagnosed than we were back in the days that our symptoms were "waiting"?? I hope that makes some sense to you.

PuppyLove · 04-22-2008, 01:18 PM

tukeetukee

Sorry to invade your thread but I just want to tell you how VERY blessed you are to have such a beautiful, caring, loving and supportive man in your life!! I pray I meet a man like that one day ***sigh***

tukeetukee · 04-22-2008, 01:53 PM

lol, you didn't interrupt anything!! I want EVERYONE to answer!!

I know he's wonderful. I would never trade him for anything.. He really really loves me.. with his heart, and not any of his other body parts, like most 18 year old guys would. I love him.

And I hope you meet a man like him someday too.. I think everyone deserves a man like him, but particularly women with a problem like PCOS... we need understanding men, and I have mine!!! I know you'll meet one too!!
<3<3<3

nikbeehubby · 04-22-2008, 08:09 PM

2 months late i think her cycle was, went to the doc for ultrasound- i was right there in the room with her. during the exam the tech said no, youre not pregnant.. wait a minute, ahh yes, i see chocolate chip cookies. when she said that a nurse was walking by the exam room and nonchalantly commented "another woman with PCOS". no clue what that meant.

nik and i have learned so much since then, a journey we are on together. the medicines, the weight fluctuations, the miscarriage, that cute pink color her upper lip turns from that wax stuff, i dont care about any of it. its part of who my wife is, she is the other half of me, ergo we are in this together.

speaking for myself here, i dont say anything to humor her. i dont know what size she was then and dont know now. why would it matter? five oclock in the morning half sleepy hair in her face or dressed to the nines and makeup for church on sundays, she looks no different to me whatsoever.

my wife, my friend, my lover, my soulmate is and always will be the same woman as the day we met.

tukeetukee · 04-22-2008, 09:20 PM

*sigh*

aj1785 · 04-24-2008, 04:31 PM

Nikbeehubby, l'm sure that you're not looking for kudos for being so understanding, but l'm giving them to you anyway!! Thank you so much for being so understanding about all of this with your dw!!

And in response to the original question, my dh and l were together prior to my being dxed. But l had a feeling that there were going to be issues and he and l discussed that about 6mos after we started dating. He was super understanding and supportive at that time already, and has only continued to become more supportive! When we were still dating, l was dxed as having pcos. He has never questioned that l was still the woman he wanted to be with and when l expressed concern that maybe he would be better off with a woman who didn't have the problems that l do, he laughed at me and told me he loved me regardless of what may or may not be a problem in our future.

I think that maybe sometimes we as women, are a little harder on our significant others than we really need to be. lf he really loves you, he's not going to care about the pcos!! He's just going to want to be by your side if and when there are fertility road blocks!

supermouse · 04-27-2008, 06:33 PM

DH and I have been married since 8/04, and we didn't know I had PCOS until Fall 07. However, he has been nothing but supportive and not turned off by the acne and extra hair that showed up when I went off the pill. He has not left, despite now knowing that I may not be able to give him children. He has given me his shoulder to cry on every time we've hit a road block in our TTC journey.

Tukeetukee---be thankful that you have such a caring man! I think any man worth his salt can handle having a wife/girlfriend with pcos, but it certainly adds complications to things and separates the wheat from the chaff.

luvin_my_redneck_man · 05-01-2008, 08:36 AM

Me and my hubby were married in April of 2001 and I was diagnosed with PCOS in December of 2001. We have been happily married for just over 7 years and we now have a beautiful little girl.

LilBitMagoo · 05-02-2008, 01:30 PM

My fiance and I were together before I got dx. He was in the room with me when my ob told me that I have PCOS. He has been nothing but supportive he knows when I'm having a rough day and is there when I need a shoulder to cry on.

So to all the women we should be thankful that we have supporting bf,fiances or husbands. They show us that they love us no matter what kind of day we are having.

Shejayd · 05-05-2008, 02:09 PM

My husband was with me before i was diagnosed, but he knew that i had PCOS before i did. The EX (gf) had PCOS, but she has it much worse then i do, and he kept telling me that I have a lot of the same symptoms, and i shrugged it off, until i was diagnosed in 06, he told me i needed to get on Metformin and i would probably get AF if i did, and within a days of taking it, i did. And i learned a lot from him. He loves me the same as he did before.

Physicsdude · 05-05-2008, 04:25 PM

When I met my wife (in college), she was significantly smaller than she is now (she weighed right around 120# back then). She stayed at that weight until about a year before we got married, and then steadily gained weight each year after that.

She worked out like crazy, watched what she ate, but the best she was able to do was "stall" the weight gain for a while. Over a 10 year period she gained almost 60 pounds.

I love her more now than I did back then, and wouldn't take ANY of the experiences back, or any of the changes.

It wasn't until two years ago that she was diagnosed with PCOS. After fighting with her doctors for years, they finally sent us to a fertility specialist - he diagnosed her before he even did the ultrasound.

There are more twists and turns to our story (good, bad, and ugly), but I'll save that for another post...

sweetmisscuddles · 05-31-2008, 11:17 AM

my DH was with me before i got diagnosed, he has supported me through all the drs that wouldn't listen and fobbed me off with the pill, he was there when i got a huge dermoid cyst and was in and out of hospital for 5 months. he doesn't care how much i weigh or how hairy i am. in his eyes i am beautiful and he tells me every day.

sexyswamprat · 06-01-2008, 01:06 PM

Sounds like you have a extraordinary man standing by your side. My husband was with me when I was rx and he too has been a tower of support for me. We are so lucky to have such wonderful men in our lives. God bless em.

ladyevidence · 06-08-2008, 01:03 AM

I think it's a little bit of both.
My husband both says stuff to make me feel better, AND doesn't notice some things. He was very honestly and completely blind to me gaining lots of weight (despite my fighting). I even gained the weight when we were still only dating He still really won't believe me that I gained as much numerically as I did.

I love my husband... lol

island_cyster · 07-01-2008, 01:27 PM

Y'all have some really amazing men in your lives.