how much does adoption cost?

sazzifrazz · 03-20-2008, 10:49 PM

a co-worker of mine just did domestic newborn adoption through an agency. she had to fly to the birth parents state, staythere for 2 weeks, and then returned with the baby. The birth parents stil had another couple of weeks to change their mind. it cos her almost $50,000!!! is that normal?

Kikibee · 03-21-2008, 12:24 PM

Sazz, when we went to the RESOLVE seminar here in MA we were told it would be in the vicinity of $30k - but pretty sure that did not include any traveling expenses.

Hope that helps - and hope you are well.

svaldez · 03-24-2008, 03:41 PM

kikibee- I am in NH, but we were reading about adopting through Mass DHHS (NH doesn't really do much adoption- just fostering) and in MA it is totally free. It says most would have special needs, but they consider stuff like asthma and allergies as special needs. Have you looked into this route at all? I wonder what the wait is like for an infant? Also, I have heard in Mass there is a long wait between the time of placement and the time the adoption is finalized during which they could change their mind. That makes me nervous but I just don't know how long it will take (a very long time, I think) to save a whopping 30k!

Sharon

momof2boyz · 03-24-2008, 05:40 PM

We starting looking into adoption and in PA it would be about 25k for a domestic newborn.

Miss-Meme · 03-24-2008, 11:27 PM

I think it sounds about normal. Depends on the agency and what fees they paid.

~Traci~ · 03-25-2008, 11:56 AM

That could be right if they're including hotel costs, food, adoption costs, agencies/attorneys in 2 states, flights, etc. I've heard interstate adoption is quite expensive. Going through your state foster system (foster to adopt) is less but there aren't too many newborns available & it takes a long time to finalize adoption. MA does have a longer wait period than some other states (been looking in to domestic MA adoption lately). I wonder if anyone has stats on how many times BP's have changed their minds after placing children w/ AP's?!?!?!

Anonykat · 03-25-2008, 12:33 PM

Embryo adoption is about $3500. Would that be something you're interested in at all?

Miss-Meme · 03-25-2008, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anonykat

Embryo adoption is about $3500. Would that be something you're interested in at all?

I don't think she was asking for herself, but just wondering because her friend paid so much.

Personally, there's a difference between adoption and embryo adoption. Some women can't carry a baby that's why they look to adoption itself.

svaldez · 03-25-2008, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Traci~

That could be right if they're including hotel costs, food, adoption costs, agencies/attorneys in 2 states, flights, etc. I've heard interstate adoption is quite expensive. Going through your state foster system (foster to adopt) is less but there aren't too many newborns available & it takes a long time to finalize adoption. MA does have a longer wait period than some other states (been looking in to domestic MA adoption lately). I wonder if anyone has stats on how many times BP's have changed their minds after placing children w/ AP's?!?!?!

Traci, I was wondering the same thing about stats. I just know I would get super attached to the baby!

I know I spoke with you before about China adoption. It looks like the wait right now is 3-4 years!! So, we have started looking at other avenues. Any which way you go seems like a difficult road!

Sharon

Anonykat · 03-25-2008, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Personally, there's a difference between adoption and embryo adoption.

So glad you told me. I had no idea!

~Traci~ · 03-25-2008, 05:17 PM

Sharon,

That's why we haven't done foster/adopt b/c I know that it would be too hard for me to have babies/children come in/out of our home. I totally admire those that can foster/adopt!

We have friends that we started w/ (almost 3 years ago) that have at least another 9+ months to wait! I couldn't imagine putting an application in right now unless I wanted my children to be 6+ years apart in age (which I don't)! And we've been home for 7 months (rec'd our referral almost 9 months ago) & the 2006 LID's are just now getting their referrals (we were 11/2005)! Crazy!

We're looking @ either domestic or (shocker!--never thought I'd say/type this) going back to the dr (after we both lose some weight) to see if we can TTC again (maybe another dr can figure out what's actually wrong w/ me!).

Traci

cachcoco · 03-25-2008, 05:55 PM

Hello. We tried to get pregnant for eight years now and just now learned that I can treat my PCOS. So about three years ago we looked into adopting. We did go through the state and we did get a child with special needs. But here is the important thing.... first of all out bio child is autistic so we were not afraid of a special needs child and said we would totally accept one. Second of all it was our choice. There are many many children that have no families for one reason or another. It isnt always due to drugs or abuse and neglect. There are babies all the time that need homes. Also.... You can specify during the application process that you only want to be placed with children that are available for adoption, meaning that parental rights have been discontinued through the courts or that they have signed away their right willingly. I made it very clear that any child that was brought in could not be taken out. That we intended fully to adopt this child. And that was our goal. We accepted a six year old that was thought to have no hope ever of adoption. He is autistic with MR. He was aggressive and they could not find a placement. He was schedualed to be sent accross country to an instituion were he would surely have been lost to society forever. All he needed was a safe loving home and today he is nine years old and is a lovable child that is not aggressive, can play, laugh and go to school. He is our son, a human being that was almost tossed. It was exactly ten months from placement to final adoption. My point is PLEASE dont give advice to those willing to walk down this path without knowing fully about what you are talking about. You can specify what kind of child you are placed with, unfortunatly there are many. You can choose the sex, nationality, disability or no disability. There are babies that need homes and love. In Connecticut they have a policy that you can drop unwanted children off at a hospitol and walk away. Those babies need a place. Also, most children in the state care dont have parents with the option to change their minds and the state will tell you right from the get go that they are trying to reconcile or they are not. This is a great option. It is not for everyone but it may be for some and I only ask that you really look into it. Call and speak to your local agency.

sazzifrazz · 03-25-2008, 06:25 PM

yes, i was asking for myself. i would definately be willing to look into embryo adoption. I want to be pregnant as much as i want another baby. to me embryo adoption would be even better! my RE led me to believe embryo adoption was as costly as domestic adoption. that seems not to be true. Do you go through an agency for that. anyone have any info? m really interested in this since it is much cheaper than adoption.

As far as special needs are concerned, DH and i are not open to that. i know it sounds horrible. I am a special needs teacher, DH manages a group home for MR adults, and my foster son of 4.5 yrs is severely special needs. We want a healthy, non-special needs baby. Of course if i were to birth a baby with special needs we would of course keep him/her and love him/her regardless...but we would not intentionally choose that path. kwim?

I called MA DSS today and asked about foster to adopt a newborn. the lady really talked me out of it. she said they NEVER get free for adoption newborns. those babies go to private agencies (which charge $40,000!) and fostering to adopt is very risky. there is a very good chance that they will be reunited with a family member later on. that would suck so bad! i can't imagine rasing a baby from day 1 only to have it ripped away a year or 2 later. thats how it is here in MA anyways. perhaps other states are less tolerant of birth families. here the birth families really do have all the right.

cachcoco · 03-25-2008, 06:32 PM

It doesnt sound horrible at all. Having two is definitly a major challenge and to say that it has all been great would be a lie. It is great that you know that about yourself. You shouldnt feel bad or think it is horrible at all. It would be worse to try and be super hero's and then be miserable.

Anonykat · 03-25-2008, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sazzifrazz

yes, i was asking for myself. i would definately be willing to look into embryo adoption. I want to be pregnant as much as i want another baby. to me embryo adoption would be even better! my RE led me to believe embryo adoption was as costly as domestic adoption. that seems not to be true. Do you go through an agency for that. anyone have any info? m really interested in this since it is much cheaper than adoption.

I thought you might be.

This is the agency that I have heard the most about - http://www.nightlight.org/snowflakeadoption.htm They are a Christian organization and really seem to do good work. Every once in a while you'll read about embryo adoption, and it always seems that Snowflakes is the group that the people used. In fact, huggies.com had a neat story on it. BRB if I can find it.