Monita

Hi

This is my second post in this section, not because I do not think everyday there is a God, a superior Being who brought us to this world, but because sometimes it is hard to find ways to describe something as complicated as feelings and spirituality.

Being TTC has opened my eyes on how precious life is and how lucky we are of being born. So many factors have to happen so a new life starts, that each form of life is a miracle, result of a perfect and unexplainable process. Just to say that I became extra careful not to kill anything alive unless absolutely unavoidable ( if there is an ant or a bug, I just take it out of the way instead of stepping on it... may sound silly but if it is there, it is part of the miracle of life ).

Lately I have been on a long, extremely long and exhausting waiting period. Two of my most important goals in life are on a stand by period, for both I have done my best, and in a sort of way, are in God´s hands. One, is TTC my first child. I have always pictured myself with at least 2-3 kids, my husband comes from a large family, and my family was not very united so I am very keen to create my own family with all the love I can give. For this purpuse, I am following the process many in this site follow too : fertility treatments, natural alternatives, specialists, taking care of my health, etc.

The second very important aspect relates to my professional life. I have a business and worked so hard on it. I always have loved to work and with my own business I was able to combine my professional life with my personal life and in case I had kids, dedicate time to both as I am my own boss. However we are in a process of merger for which we are searching for a partner, and even if we have presented everything very professionally, we are still awaiting for a yes from the potential partners.

The past months have been long and tiring due to the waiting and the anxious feelings from the waiting. There are days when I loose all hope in both issues, and there are days I am more calm and just do my best and put things in God´s hands.

I used to pray everyday with a formal schedule, like 8 PM grab some prayers I made up and read them while lighting a candle. In the last weeks I have been praying before bedtime, just a quick, very anxious, almost desperate prayer.

Inside me I know God is with me and I feel He has a plan and he is not leaving us alone. He knows we do not have much time to solve the business situation and that this situation impacts also the TTC process. Sometimes, I feel there is something holding me back and not letting me achieve my goals and I get tempted to go see someone for a "spiritual clean" fearing that maybe some bad energies may be affecting me... out of envy or bad wishes on me.

Lately I have not been sure how to reach God for help. I have felt like my scheduled praying is too mechanical, and that God already knows what is good for us and when it should come. Sometimes I feel I am doing everything but a proper praying. That maybe I am not "insisting" enough.

My DH and I get anxious as we see days pass without a positive PG test or a final resolution on our business. He keeps complaining why if we are doing everything OK, there are no results yet. He also gets angry to see people who do not fight so hard get instant results, and sometimes they are not honest or good people, but everything comes easy for them.

I would really like to hear some advice on how to be patient while God answers, and how is the best way to adress to him when you need a reply very badly... I know everybody has a different way to pray, I just wanted to share experiences.

I know everything happens for a reason, it is just that these have been rough years, and we really need to see light... we know we are blessed, and that our problems may seem small to many other people, and this is why we try to stay calm and always remember we are not alone.

Thanks for reading...

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keepinthefaith

I feel that there is no right or wrong way to pray. It doesn’t matter the words you say, the time of day you say them or where you say them at. God hears all prayers and answers all prayers, we just have to remember that he knows what’s best for us better than we do. Sometimes it may seem as if he is forsaken us but really he just might have a different plan for us then we do. We may not always see, realize or like the answers that we get but our job is to completely trust in him and turn our lives over to him completely. Instead of asking for specifics I usually find myself asking if it is his will that ______ happens then I will be open to it and try to do everything with the opportunity that I can, and I ask that if he feels it is not the time for me to _______ that he gives me the faith and strength to accept that and to help me find peace and help me to lead the life that I am meant to. I hope that you find peace soon. (((Hugs)))

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Deliah


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PollySis

I'm not a christian, am pagan - but we do have a concept of 'prayer', although maybe a more pro-active way of making things we want to happen, happen!

Have you ever heard the Garth Brooks' song 'Unanswered Prayers'? ("Sometimes God's greatest gifts/Are unanswered prayers.") I think there's a lot of truth in that. If your wishes aren't granted when you want, it feels painful at the time. But it will be for a reason. Maybe there's something else you need to acieve/focus on, first?

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Monita

Thank you both for your comments.... they are very valuable for me.

I am still in a very anxious situation and I try to remain as calm as I can. We have to move from office and new expenses are coming so we really need to finalize a deal, on the other hand, I am getting ready for a new cycle trying to conceive. Your suggestions are very appreciated and I try to stay calm, do my best and leave the rest in God´s hands.

For sure He knows what will be best for our situation !

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PollySis

{{{Monita}}}}

Took me nearly 9 years to hold my first baby in my arms, but I did. And you will.

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Juana Baby

I agree that it does not matter when you pray or how. I mean if you are praying, and praying that the Holy Spirit intercedes for you, He knows the words.

One thing that has always stuck with me is that God answers prayers in one of three ways, Yes, No, or Wait.

It took us 7-1/2 years to conceive and maintain a pregnancy. It was only by God's will and timing that this happened because trust me I had begged, pleaded, bargained and everything else to get my way. And it was only after we took the philosphy that God would bless us with a child, don't know how it will happen, either by natural birth, or adoption, but that it would happen.

So, I then changed my focus to God. And knowing that all I need and want is a relationship with Him first. And everything was secondary to that.

My prayers are with you that your relationship will sustain you during this period of waiting.

laural