I am feeling kind of numb today and can barely type but how do I get through this?
We have been TTC for the longest time and needless to say have been very unsuccessful.
This has brought me to a dreaded depression that I can't seem to shake and I feel very very vulnerable and sad. Two weeks ago or so I tested a BFN after my TWW and kind of got hysterical and started crying, etc. I felt very needy and hopeless- and then he tells me amidst my grief that he is LEAVING because he can't take my moods and -sorry to be frank- he finds BMS 'boring' and would just assume 'masturbate' but used different terms of course. So- I fall into a hole of sadness, and while I am there he tells me he is leaving me and he has wanted to for a long time. He blamed me for everything that was wrong with us and basically said I 'wasn't good enough or worth fighting for' when I suggested counseling. Then he left.
It goes with the old saying that he kicked me when I was down, that he left me right when I needed him most.
So now it has been since Thursday since I have talked to him and a week ago since last Saturday since I have seen him. I have tried to call him and I have left messages but he isn't returning my calls. He just left and abandoned me with my feelings of inadequacy and sadness and now I feel completely alone.
I know that anyone who would do this to me I don't need in my life and I am sure it is best in the long run, but what can I do about the sadness right now? Depression due to PCOS coupled with beligerent rejection is a beyond horrible feeling I just want to die right now.
HI Scottishsweetie,
I am sorry to hear about your troubles. I think you need to think about yourself. Be selfish. Only do what makes you feel good. And that surely includes not thinking about him or speaking with him. You can identify that you are in a hard place. If a friend was down like you, what would you suggest? Try to look within. Not outside where bad influences can affect you. Do some inside work.
__________________ Catherine To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Honey, the BEST thing he ever did was leave you! Not for him FOR YOU! What a complete jerk! I agree with Catherine...be selfish and do things FOR YOU! The reason you couldn't get pregnant by this jerk was because God knows you deserve better than to be attached to this creep in any way shape or form. Your baby will come to you sweetie, just be glad its not with him.
The reason he doesn't return your calls, HE DOESN'T CARE. I know thats hard to hear, but its the truth and the sooner you can realize it and get to the Angry stage instead of the the depressed stage, the quicker you will feel better.
When the 1st love of my life dumped me a very good friend told me this "Don't look at it as losing something, look at it as an opportunity to find someone who really loves you." He was right, and i did. This too shall pass sweetie, be strong and you will be fine.
Sending you hugs and all the strength i can spare!
Coree
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Hi. I agree its for the best. May not seem like it now but if he can do this to you, then he is not worth it! Surround yourself with loved ones and friends! Submerge yourself here if you need to! We are all here, we will be there for you!
I am sorry you are going through this, HUGS! But he is a jerk for doing this!
__________________ Jenny
Wife to Carl and Mommy to CJ and Emily.
DX. 1999
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((((big hugs)))) for you... I agree with what everybody else has said, you DO NOT need that jerk! It will take you some time, but the shock of him leaving you will wear off and you will just be plain out MAD! Good Luck to you and If you ever wanna talk, I'm a message away. Take care of yourself
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Skylar Jayden~Forever in our hearts~ m/c July 2006
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Diagnosed with PCOS Jan 2006
Provera~10mg Metformin~2000mg Feel free to add me on Myspace
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My heart goes out to you, not because he left, but because you are dealing with so many disappointments at one time. You are taking the right steps in dealing with the sadness. You're talking about it. If you were willing to get counseling with him, don't be afraid to get counseling for yourself. You have a lot of things weighing on you right now and you need an ear that is working with you to get you back on a path to being happy. Medication may or may not be for you, but it's definitely an option. Otherwise, I agree with a lot of the advice here. Put yourself in the middle of activities you enjoy. Immerse yourself in your family and friends, and take one day at a time. It will get easier.
(((Hugs))) I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this.
But do you know what? He's just shown his true colours and what a jerk he is!! It hurts like hell for you to go through this, but in the long run it's going to be for the best. Imagine if you'd had a child or children with this jerk? And do you know what? I BELIEVE that after you've had some time to get over the hurt, and take care of yourself, you're going to be glad he's gone and you're going to find a beautiful man who loves you for who you are, and treats you like the beautiful person you are. And then you're going to have babies with the RIGHT man.
I"m so incredibly sorry. I can't imagine how much pain and lonliness you are feeling. It was awful of him to leave you at this time and I hope you have some other people in your life to support you during this rough time.
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As everyone else has said, he really has shown his true self by these terrible actions I'm just so sorry that it had to happen this way and that you've had to go through so much emotional pain. As Choirmissy suggested, please don't be afraid to seek counseling if you feel you need guidance through this time. Due to extenuating circumstances I've been living a very stressful day to day lifestyle and if it weren't for my therapist I probably would have just laid down and died! Such a sudden, shocking and severely stressful adjustment would doubtlessly be made much easier with a good counselor there to help guide you along and support you.
And everyone has already stated what I would say about surrounding yourself with friends and family, taking care of you (try a haircut or new color. That can make one feel quite good!), staying busy and making things all about you for a change. I hate to mention it, as I know it's painful to think about, but for your own protection you may want to seek out a lawyer. I know from the experience of others that what he did legally was abandon you. The laws vary from state to state, but tend to frown on this almost universally from what I know. Having a lawyer would protect you in case he gets one first and his lawyer tries to pull something "slick" on you. No, no! Make sure he ends up taking full responsibility for his actions
More (((hugs)))!
Dana
__________________ Me (33)/Michael (3o) Together for almost nine long, happy years!
First PCOS dx: 1989 Supplements: One A Day Weight Smart, B Complex, Biotin, Pantothenic Acid (B5), B12, Saw Palmetto, Vit C, Vit D3, NAC, Alpha Lipoic Acid, Chromium Piconolate, Cinnamon, Magnesium, EPO, Zinc Gluconate, Green Tea Diet: "Modified" Zone plan
"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her" -Anon.
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He knew just what to say to hurt you and that's what he did. You are way better off without him.....even though that's not going to help you right now.
Talk to someone, friends, family, anyone. Get it off your chest. Get out. Don't stay home and hide. As someone else suggested, do what makes you feel good. Go for an ice-cream or a movie (not a sad one, though !). If you can't afford a counsellor, talk to your local pastor. They are usually very friendly and will do anything to help you.
I'm so sorry this happened to you right now. But, I want you to come back and look up this thread in a year's time to see how far you will have come. Because you'll be in a much better place and maybe even with someone else who loves and deserves YOU !
I am feeling much better than I was. All of your advice is perfect and you are all right on the money- he is a JERK!!! Coree said it best- HE DOESN'T CARE! I haven't cried today (first day- yay!) and I am keeping busy busy for the rest of the week with concerts and parties!!
Dana- thanks for the advise on the lawyer- my brother is also going through a divorce and he has a great lawyer- I will contact him.
This is all for the best in the long run!
I LOVE YOU ALL!!! A MILLION THANKS TO YOU BEAUTIFUL WOMEN!!!
Husband leaving me at the worst possible time 
I'm just so sorry that it had to happen this way and that you've had to go through so much emotional pain. As Choirmissy suggested, please don't be afraid to seek counseling if you feel you need guidance through this time. Due to extenuating circumstances I've been living a very stressful day to day lifestyle and if it weren't for my therapist I probably would have just laid down and died! Such a sudden, shocking and severely stressful adjustment would doubtlessly be made much easier with a good counselor there to help guide you along and support you.
