charlockBoy

What is all this about sex. Your woman is totally upset and that is what you think about?

I think the last thing she needs is pressure.

Somewhat Damaged

Wow...

TTCTeacher

I think in a marriage sex is vital. Not just for the physical benefits-but the emotional connection. I think a man has a right to feel isolated when his wife is struggling. I hope whoever struggles gets the help they need. Good luck!

__________________
Jen 36
DF 30
TTC on hold!


TTC resumes sometime-who knows when considering my DH to be has 6 weeks of training coming up after the wedding
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Sweetface

I'm not sure why my symptoms are different. I've had PCOS diagnosed for 1 year. My testosterone elevated enough to make me neeeeed sex very very badly. I begged my ex boyfriend for it and that pushed him away because if I didn't get it, I'd start a fight...again testosterone. And he said I was the most beautiful woman he ever made love to, so I know it's not looks. It created anxiety (now that I know how to identify it) and made me lash out and cry, so when my doctor put me on Met, I lost the sex drive. My moods were non existant. No highs, no lows. I went off it to get some sex drive back but then I got severe anxiety. Folks: lashing out, hormonal episodes, testosterone, yes it all adds up. When on Met, hardly existant.

Husbands out there: it is VERY possible your wife dumps because she is effected hormonally. In my research they say PCOS gives depression and anxiety BECAUSE of facial hair and obesity...NO, not always. I have PCOS but no facial hair or body hair anywhere than where it should be, but I have extreme moods and anxiety, because of anxiety and hot flashes, frusteration surges during certain situations if I am not on Met. The trick for me in the future is to be on enough Met to be balanced, but not so much I loose my hunger for sex. Sex is so important to me and when on Met, it just isn't and that can make a man feel so rejected.

Is my situation different? The worse symptom for me is high sexed, aggressive and anxiety when dissappointed or heart broken. Of course weight gain (30 lbs) is part of my shyness at times, so for me, PCOS has made me loose emotional balance at times-Not always, only when heart broken or when a relationship doesn't work out (usually because I'm hormonal and not aware I am too agressive).

The one thing I need the most from my bf, are hugs and holding if irritable and if I am sexual, lots of touching. Lots. But no groping please!!! If the husbands here are groping wives, it's the wrong approach when they have lost the drive.

It's no surpruse to me women dump on men if hurt if they are not on meds. I can't control it if heart broken, deeply dissappointed and not on meds. But of course if men are doing things wrong, not listening and not asking questions, it can be a recipe for disaster.

But one thing I can say, is I never had anxiety before PCOS. Never mood swings and so I know our medical professionals are only hitting the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this disorder. There are still studies being done.

Sharmayla

Neechogan:
Well, I think you're a saint. But I think I know how your wife feels. I was a very feminine, very beautiful (or so I was told) woman who suddenly got this awful syndrome. Can you imagine how Christy Brinkley or Raquel Welch or Cheryl Tiegs or Angelina Jolie or Britney Spears or Beyonce would feel if they got this? It really does a number on a woman's self-image and self esteem. I used to be beautiful and had guys drooling over me, and now I'm not, and they don't. We feel like how could a loving God let this happen to a pretty girl? This is destroying women and destroying marriages. I have a husband just like you. You're BOTH saints. Your wife is lucky to have you, and I'm lucky to have my husband. I'm trying different herbs now that have helped a lot with the symptoms. Look up herbs for PCOS.

~*Heart*~

I think the last thing Neech needs is comments like that. He's been dealing with this for a long long LONG time. It's not just sex, it's any kind of intimacy. She refuses him. How long can a soul go without being loved?

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~*Heart*~

Then I suggest you start your own thread asking just that instead of hijacking this one.

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Sharmayla

That's the first time I've seen anyone be so mean on this website. It's usually such a nice website. She's obviously new - she only posted 16 times.

Sweetface

I think we all need to remember one thing. Women with PCOS are hormonal. We occassionally snap, so it's the territory. We can all be mean at times, even if we try not to. I think alot here are just protective of Neechogan and having his thread 'pure'.

sexyswamprat

I was just asking, no need to so rude about it.

thejakester

Back to the thread-Im not a husband yet but I wanted to add my two cents. As a boyfriend its hard but I am trying to take steps to unersand so I dont keep making the same mistakes.

My main question is why does she always ask my opinion of her? I tell her she is beautiful and wonderful and hot but its though she doesnt believe me. Id like to deepen our relationship but its hard when she doesnt think Im telling her the truth. Does this happen to other men? But when she is ready for sex, you cant turn her off. Ill be really worried when she wants to start arm wrestling me-all joking aside, I am lucky I dont have to beg for sex.

My view of PCOS is that it comes with benefits if you can handle the occasional clingon and insecurity.

The Man of the Board

One thing about PCOS bro it destorys the way your mate thinks and looks at herself.

LackyBand

Amen! ManOTB, you sure understand your lady.

Jakester, maybe try this perspective: If you think of society's ideal woman, she'd be slim, feminine, clear skin, gorgeous locks and certainly no budding mustache. This is what women face every single day in the media and through stereotypes that are reinforced constantly. Please be aware that these are outside influences. I'm not saying that you guys individually believe them, but society on the whole...

Now take a look at a woman with PCOS. It's a mammoth struggle to achieve ONE of those ideals, let alone all of them. We often feel like we aren't good enough, and that we are letting our partners down.

I'd just like to thank all you guys that are taking the time to learn about this, and for supporting your ladies and for doing your best to understand them and appreciate them. Especially my hubby, if he reads this

__________________
Ahh, yes. But fat people are harder to kidnap.
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Sweetface

This is the first time I've ready thru this whole post. We are looong winded aren't we?

Neech - I want to explain something about women judging you on this board. I know you come to vent and we actually do want to hear what you are going thru. Men are a mystery to alot of women, but each woman here has PCOS. Each woman here deals with the insecurity it brings and we have our fears regarding our significant others. To hear a man rant about leaving, cheating, saying we are cursed and all that will bring up our fears in a huge way and then we will try and vent back to 'clue you in to our reality' which you can easily read over and over in all the other 99 threads we have all to ourselves. But our biggest hurdle is self esteme and insecurity, especially if someone has left us over this issue. You can bet women will vent and you will see our frusterations.

Ranting is good to get things off your chest and I really do believe a good rant is like running 5 miles, but if it triggers someones insecurity you could get a ranting back. I guess if you say:

*men only* *Men only* * men only*

It wil show us that you do not want a womans input ever on your thread. You can define that boundary.

The hard thing for women is that it's difficult to see a man judge us and then we so badly want to explain our reality so you understand. As long as you judge us in any way shape or form, you will set off a counter-rant if you discuss the things that would devistate a woman; leaving, abandonment, judging us as cursed and so on. I think ranting is ok and you can prevent a counter-rant if you say you are not open to anyones opinion of your rant.

Also, try and understand ranting is fine as long as it doesn't get abusive because we aren't coming here to sling ****, we are here to understand things better.

But I do wish you would come back and let us know what is happening.

embrace2day

Is your wife on any antidepressants?? Depression is a big part of this syndrome..at least for me. Some medications to help with the depression and anxiety have sexual side effects. Just a thought.