I am back. It is me again, I am back in the original city which, I fled from. The relative,I was living with got evicted! I think that,I should give you all a brief history of my life from childhood to present. I was born an unwanted child to an older mother, whom already had a number of children. I did not really know my father well, he recently came back into my life. I ran away from home as a teen due to the constant verbal abuse, I received. I did all the right things,which you are supposed to do to suceed in ((life)), I waited until, I was married, graduated from high school, went to collge graduated, mind you, I did all of this under unbearable,chronic depression along with feeling like a freak for all the weird things that was happening to my body.
To make a long story short, I left the city, I was originally in; becasue,I could not get a job, my husband who, I was seperated from, would contstantly compare to other women who were quote on quote "normal". He would say things like, you are a nothing, I only liked you due to lust,why can't you be normal,why don't you dress nice"like a woman", why aren't you sociable! Why can't you have kids, I want kids! In essence everyone who has ever been in life and professed to love me have wounded me in some way. I end feeling like nothing I do is good enough!
I wouldl ike to ask any of you, if you are on disability, How did you get it? and how long did it take? I am at the end of my rope fed, and up with life! |