Five years ago, when I was a teenager, I got pregnant (before PCOS symptoms really set in hardcore, I might add.) I placed the baby for adoption because his father dumped me, my dad told me I could not live with him pregnant, and I was on my own. I also detest my own mother and was very afraid of creating another situation like that one. Abortion was NOT an option.
Anyway, the agency I dealt with was amazing, and these concerns that I am reading about adoptive mothers having were just NOT a part of the process (babies getting taken back, waiting for years.) There were many young women waiting for their babies to be born to place them. I chose the family that took my baby, and couldn't be happier with the way it turned out. They had been affiliated with the agency for less than a year.
I suppose I posted because I wanted to be able to talk to women on the other side of the coin- I am married now, and we are expecting our first child (very much wanted and loved already!) Is there anything you want to know? Can I possibly help anyone understand anything? Anything at all...
I hope this post isn't unwelcome in the adoption section. Face to face is hard, because it isn't something I tell everyone (of course,) and I have gotten judged as badly as girls who choose to abort!
Best of luck to you in your endeavors.
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I don't really have anything I'd like to ask, but I just wanted to say thank you. For your bravery in such a difficult situation, for finding your child a safe, loving home, and for coming here and making such a generous offer. I wish I could thank my children's birthmom's for the amazing gifts they have given me, but since I can't.. thank you in their stead as well.
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Brandy(33) DH Dan(33)
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Thanks for sharing your story! Thanks for choosing life!
__________________ Amy (33) SAHM & To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Join for free...only 2 more days!
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I am so proud of you. Thank you for giving that little child life, and for making a childless couple the parents they wanted to be. God bless you. Congratulations on your new upcoming arrival! H&H 9 months to you.
cool, thanks for sharing. just out of curiosilty, what made you choose the family you did? what criteria was important to you?
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Oh, no. Is your siggie for this year? I am so sorry. Please know you are not alone and we cysters (many of us with losses...I've had 3...last was twins 10/07) are here for you. Keep the faith. The light will brighten for you again.
....If you aren't able to respond now, I totally undertand:
I am so grateful for your offer of help and hope! Thank you for reaching out.
As someone else asked, what did you feel was the most important quality (or qualities) about the couple you chose? Did something stand out in their profile (lifestyle presentation)?
Thank you again. Your message is a beautiful one and very comforting.
__________________ Karla (32) Jeff (36)
- DX PCOS 8/99
- Married 10/19/1997!
- TTC #1 since '98. BFP w/ 1st round of Clomid but m/c at 6 1/2 weeks.
- 1500mg/day Glucophage
- Several rounds of follistim, Ovidrel, IUI.
- M/C 11/06
- 1st round of IVF (with PGD); embryo transfer 9/21.
- BFP 10/1! BetaHCG 313.
- 2nd beta 10/4 = 1,291!
- m/c 10/9-10; beta 8,677 but 1500 on 10/12
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I am a well adjusted adult adoptee (and an adoptive mother) and what you did was 199% unselfish and loving. The family you chose I am sure is thrilled w/ their new(er) addition and are very thankful.
I actually met my bio parents and bio siblings and thanked them for giving me so many oppurtunities that I would not have had if they would have choosen to raise me or worse (abortion). I do regret never getting to know my bio siblings and now we are like strangers (which I am ok w/- the siblings not so much).Although as I was growing up I did wonder about my bio parents but knew I was loved and appreciated. Anyway I just wanted to say thank you and let you know that what you did is/was a very brave thing!
My DD bio mother helped my family achieve our dreams of becoming a "family" not one day goes by that I don't think of her.
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I chose the family from a feeling I had, based on their profile (booklet put together by them & the agency.) A lot of the books (families) were full of typographical errors, and others talked down to the reader... At that point, I was an intelligent young woman deciding to let a child have it easy instead of struggle- NOT a cracked out whore or dumb 16 year old, and was really put off by anything that seemed addressed to one of those people.
I picked R & M because they seemed to be a pair of people who would raise the baby in a manner that would open his mind and broaden his horizons- what I would have given to him, but without wearing Kmart clothes and being mocked in school because he can't afford class trips. They seemed to have the best tools to create an extraordinary person... I dreamed while I was pregnant of all of the things I should have done, could have done with my academics & aptitudes, and while he may still choose to be stupid, like any kid... he is starting half a dozen notches above where I was raised.
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Jeminijab, congratulations on your courage. I to am a bio mom, and i love hearing about other bio moms. We both know it was a difficult choice, but at the same thing the best gift we could give to our dear little ones at the time. I also got that "funny feeling" while chosing my sons APs. It was an amazing feeling! Are you open or closed? My little guy will be 6 year old on the 7th of February. Its hard to watch them grow up, especially going through what we as PCOS women have gone through, but easy to know they are where they need to be. Again, congrats on your courage.
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Dx Aug 2006 Dx U.R.L.S 2007
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After 4yrs TTC, 10 losses and being told it would never happen!
DS- Isaac . 11/25/08 @ 36.5 weeks. 6lbs 5oz.
Never, Never, Never give up- W.Churchill To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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It's thanks to a wonderful woman like you that I was placed with my parents. I've met my birthmother and my mom said that since she shared me with them it would only be right to share me with her now. You did a wonderful thing.
__________________ Hi I'm Michelle! Dx: 2003 finally Meds: 750mg met ER,500mg met, 25mcg synthroid Sx: IR, tummy weight, excessive facial hair, cysts, endometriosis, irregular periods Other Dx: IBS, acid relux, asthma, chronic bronchitis, kidney stones, galbladder stones (galbladder removed in 01), patella femeral dysphasia, tears in lower 2 disks in my back, TMJ, arthritis in jaw joint, tension headaches, underactive thyroid. TTC: began December 2007
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I chose the family from a feeling I had, based on their profile (booklet put together by them & the agency.) A lot of the books (families) were full of typographical errors, and others talked down to the reader... At that point, I was an intelligent young woman deciding to let a child have it easy instead of struggle- NOT a cracked out whore or dumb 16 year old, and was really put off by anything that seemed addressed to one of those people.
I picked R & M because they seemed to be a pair of people who would raise the baby in a manner that would open his mind and broaden his horizons- what I would have given to him, but without wearing Kmart clothes and being mocked in school because he can't afford class trips. They seemed to have the best tools to create an extraordinary person... I dreamed while I was pregnant of all of the things I should have done, could have done with my academics & aptitudes, and while he may still choose to be stupid, like any kid... he is starting half a dozen notches above where I was raised.
I completely understand the whole "feeling"...
The lifestyle presentations/profiles are really tough for the couple. On the one hand, you have only one chance to really connect with a mother and there is so much you want to say...yet on the other hand, the agencies are telling you to keep it short and sweet and to keep it on a 10th grade level (doesn't this seem a bit archaic?). I can't even tell you how many little things we were instructed to remove that we thought were sweet, funny, or comforting. We were also told we talked too much about our families...because we spend so much time together hanging out, playing sports and traveling. I'd rather talk about our big family trip to the Bahamas than the blanket I knit for my husband that is probably 8ft tall...or the paintings I've done that cover our walls. Make sense?
Anyhow, we fought to keep in some things because we want to make sure our individuality comes through - but we also "listened to the professionals" on many things. I feel like it still needs help!
Thanks for chatting and being so open.
__________________ Karla (32) Jeff (36)
- DX PCOS 8/99
- Married 10/19/1997!
- TTC #1 since '98. BFP w/ 1st round of Clomid but m/c at 6 1/2 weeks.
- 1500mg/day Glucophage
- Several rounds of follistim, Ovidrel, IUI.
- M/C 11/06
- 1st round of IVF (with PGD); embryo transfer 9/21.
- BFP 10/1! BetaHCG 313.
- 2nd beta 10/4 = 1,291!
- m/c 10/9-10; beta 8,677 but 1500 on 10/12
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Last edited by KarlaLOVESJeff; 02-14-2008 at 03:27 AM.
Reason: typo
I just wanted to tell you thank you for choosing to let your child live and find a good home for them. I was adopted by my dad and my little brother is adopted and I wouldn't change anything. What you did takes alot of courage and you made one family very happy. Don't ever let people criticize you! And I am so terribly sorry, I read your siggie. Please don't lose hope and know that there are people praying for you.
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"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to weep, a time to laugh, A time to mourn, and a time to dance."
Ecclesiastes 3:1,4
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I just wanted to tell you thank you for choosing to let your child live and find a good home for them. I was adopted by my dad and my little brother is adopted and I wouldn't change anything. What you did takes alot of courage and you made one family very happy. Don't ever let people criticize you! And I am so terribly sorry, I read your siggie. Please don't lose hope and know that there are people praying for you.
Thanks, Turtle! I noticed you are from Spring- I lived in the Woodlands for a while, and Conroe. Small world.
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I am a bio mom. I hope I can help someone. 
