I had an ectopic last year in August. I knew from the beginning of that pregnancy it was not good but hoped for the best. It ended and we did 2 shots of methotrexate to pass it. It was hard to deal with but I kind of supressed my sadness and kept trying to get pregnant.
Then my first round of injectables in February I got my bfp. I seen my baby's hb 5 times by u/s. I had a little spotting here and there and a one time bleed which landed me in ER last Saturday. They released me after seeing baby's heartbeat and saying cervix was closed and I was ok but they think they seen a placental clot and to get it followed up by my RE.
I did follow up this past Monday with RE and u/s showed healthy hb and baby measuring on time. The nurse said no clot and just a little pocket of blood probably causing the spotting. Then on Wednesday I started bleeding heavy and passing clots. I thought for sure I passed the baby. We went to RE's office for u/s Thursday morning and the tech said the baby was demised and no hb. It was still inside me. They sent me off right then and there to a hospital for D&C and hysteroscopy. I cried, I seen my dh cry. I never seen him cry and he was crying holding me in front of the nurses at the dr. office. We didn't care what anyone thought we just held eachother crying. It was a sad day. Worst day of my life. Worst pain of my life waking up out of surgery in pain.
I was 7 weeks along and my little one meant so much to me already. I had plans and hopes and dreams and they have all been taken away from me.
I am broken and I don't know how to make it through.
I don't know what to tell you either hun. I just try and take it one day at a time, remembering with love but always looking forward. It's the only way I can keep going.
Hang in there.
__________________
Stephanie 24 & DH 24
M/C's: 5/08, 3/09 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Three inject cycles 7 Clomid
TTC +2 years
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"If you're going through hell, keep going." Winston Churchill
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I'm sorry. I know how you're feeling. Still trying to cope somehow although it is difficult. I'll be thinking of you.
__________________ "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God..." Philippians 4:6
Jenn, DH, & DD 5
Baby #2 ANGEL Baby/D&C 3/26/09 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
TTC #3 - Cycle 1 - 5/23/09 - Menopur (busted on 6/5/09) Cycle 2 - Waiting on AF to start again To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
AF - came on her own 6/24/09
Started WW in August; will TTC again in Sept/Oct.
GOD ALWAYS ANSWERS PRAYERS!!!
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I know exactly where you are, my baby had no HB 2 weeks ago and I had a D and C. It is heartwrenching. You are not alone, but you wil feel all alone, inside for now. It does get better-I mean I am not crying 24/7 like I was 2 weeks ago. I am not better mentally....I am still deeply saddnened and now pissed off!!! I am allowing myself to go through all the stages and any feelings I have, I accept.
I know you need strangth and answers right now, and I pray for you to be strong and I pray for your little one who you are grieving for.
Were all here for you.
__________________
Jen 37 DH 31
BFP 2/09 M/C 3/20/09 @ 6.5 wks
BFP 7/1/09(twins)
Missed M/C 8/3/09 @ 8.5 wks
D and C 8/4/09
Positive for ATA and Rheumatoid factor
Rx=Crinone, Lovenox and baby aspirin
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We are all here to support you. None of us have the right words to say to make the pain go away. I am so so sorry. If you have any questions or just need to talk let me know. I had my 3rd m/c in feb and it just is not fair.....sending hugs....
__________________ Angel baby #1 -4/06 Angel baby #2 1/08( stephanie grace) Angel baby #3 2/09 (steven blestman) Current meds: Metformin 1500mg, baby asprin, prenatal, extra folic acid & a B complex- Dx'd with PCOS 1/08 dx'd with mthfr homo. 4/09 Praying for a miracle To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Tammy-39-Steve 48-ttc 6 years
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Amanda, I am so sorry for your loss. I always check to see if there are new threads but always pray no one has to join us on the pregnancy loss forum. I had my second m/c at 9 wks on 3/25. I found out there was no hb on 3/20 after hearing it on 3/5. It's my second m/c in 5 months so I know how devestating they can be. I was suppose to have a D&C this time around but passed it all naturally the night before. The first m/c however I had a D&C when I was 16wks along. I had a little cramping and some spotting but really no other issues. Did they prescribe you an antibiotic? I think a little cramping is normal but it shouldn't be severe. If you are concerned call the MD on call. It's better to be safe than sorry.
__________________
Kristina (27) & Dustin (28)
Married 10/26/02
DD Ani Rose born 3/21/03 ~ au naturale
Angel babies @ 16 wks (10/08) & 9wks (3/09)
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I wasn't in physical pain after the D&C. I had cramps that I could feel, but they felt like normal AF cramps. I didn't get any pain meds from the doctor when I was discharged, but was told I could take tylenol, etc. if I needed it. I didn't. But, to be perfectly honest, I just was soo drained from the crying and sadness, that I'm not sure if I "felt" anything for the first 4 days immediately after the procedure.
__________________ "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God..." Philippians 4:6
Jenn, DH, & DD 5
Baby #2 ANGEL Baby/D&C 3/26/09 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
TTC #3 - Cycle 1 - 5/23/09 - Menopur (busted on 6/5/09) Cycle 2 - Waiting on AF to start again To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
AF - came on her own 6/24/09
Started WW in August; will TTC again in Sept/Oct.
GOD ALWAYS ANSWERS PRAYERS!!!
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Thanks for your responses ladies. I feel a little better today and the cramps have gotten a little better.
Roxy~I am so sorry for both your losses. It is the hardest thing to deal with and I realize I will never get over it. After seeing your baby and the hb it is so hard to accept that they are gone. I will never understand why.
Wanna~I am so sorry for your loss too. I know what you mean about not really feeling anything. I am no where near myself.
My dh was with me when we were told the baby had no hb. I went to the u/s prepared to hear the worst. But I thought I passed the baby on my own since the day before I was passing clots. But I was shocked when they said the baby had no hb and was demised. I even had to ask "the baby is still in there?" Yes. Yes, my baby died inside of me and was still there. I got out of the stirrups and walked to the bathroom to get dressed. I broke down crying hysterically...but quietly to myself. I didn't know if I wanted dh to see me so weak. But when I opened the door to walk out he was right there crying his eyes out. He felt my pain and his own pain for the loss of his child. We held each other and cried in each others arms. I realized at that moment that I married the right man. I fell in love with him even more and felt closer than ever to him and his heart. But I can't get the image of him breaking down out of my mind and that breaks my heart.
I apologized to him for this happening and he got stern with me and said it isn't my fault. I know it really isn't...as I did everything by the book to sustain this pregnancy. Cut down on the caffeine to almost nothing. No alcohol, no drugs and I even quit smoking before we even got pregnant. I tried to do right. It still happened. I just wanted this so bad. I am so heartbroken. I am glad to have others on here who understand...but on the otherhand I wish none of us knew how it felt.
I am sorry for all your losses girls. I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy.
Amanda - I am so very sorry. *hugs* It never gets any easier to bear I have had so many losses myself including a missed mc and an ectopic. Time does ease the physical pain but will never erase the memory of it.
Amanda ~ It does sound like you have a great man on your side. My Dh was really great with my m/c. He tried to help out in any way possible. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you heal inside and out the best way possible.
__________________
Kristina (27) & Dustin (28)
Married 10/26/02
DD Ani Rose born 3/21/03 ~ au naturale
Angel babies @ 16 wks (10/08) & 9wks (3/09)
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Oh Amanda..I'm so sorry to hear this..prayers to you.
__________________ Early 2003 - Clomid x 3 - no ovulation
June - Visit RE, Dx PCOS, MF IF
Sept - Cancelled IVF due to hyperstim
Oct - IVF, BFP!! July 16, 2004 -Katharine born To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Oct/Nov 05 - IVF, BFP! July 6, 2006 - Hannah born To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
2008 Several rounds of clomid/femara -one O, BFN
HSG - November; Femara cd 7-11 Shocker BFP on 11/30!
August 7, 2009 - Austin Cole born!!
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I am broken...again 
