My name is Stephanie and I am married to Paul. We have been TTC for 6 months and I was diagnosed with PCOS in July. After 3 months of charting, I knew I wasn't ovulating. I had already been told about PCOS and that I had a few symptoms of it, so I was already prepared and had an idea that something was wrong, since I have never had regular periods.
I went on Clomid 50mg for 5 days and that didn't work. At day 24 I got a pos OPK and was VERY excited, but then nothing happened. I had forgotten about false positives with PCOS.
I was absolutely crushed for a few days. But I rebounded. I went back to my doc, and she put me on Prometrium to induce a period, and then upped the Clomid to 100mg for 5 days.
I will no longer be going to that physician because of another issue not related to PCOS.
So the reason I am so frustrated isn't that we have been trying for so long. Because really, 6 months is nothing. Because of my 67 day cycle, of which I spent 24 bleeding. I was lucky enough to get tested relatively early.
But I started TTC with quite a few other girls on another message board of mine. We have been together for over 4 years. We met on TheKnot planning our weddings and have migrated to our own board. These women are wonderful and supportive. And extremely fertile. At least most of them are.
There were about 7 of us TTC at the same time. In the last two days two have announced they are PG, and the month before another two did. I was very upset yesterday because of that announcement, but I managed to get over it. And then I logged on this evening after being gone all day, and the other had posted it. Mind you, all of these women have been trying for less time than I have, and were able to get PG very easily.
I'm bitter. I'll admit it. Because even if I wasn't a part of this board, I have a VERY fertile family. My cousin who I am very close to has two very wonderful boys who are the lights of my life. But she accidentally got pregnant with her second and really can't support them both. And she is irresponsible and doesn't use BC. And she is super fertile.
And all of this combined to hating my body. And being bitter. And I am fine for a little while, And then I get bitter again.
I am going away this weekend with family and I am really looking forward to it. I will be drinking a lot and enjoying my family. I am currently waiting for AF and hoping that this round of Clomid will work, but if not then I will be going to a RE.
So this was one rambling post. But I feel guilty posting this to the women on my other board, because while I am supremely jealous, I am at least slightly happy for each one of them. And I don't want them to feel bad for being happy.
I don't like being this person. I just want to be a mom. When asked what I wanted to be as a child, the answer was always be a mom, and then possibly a teacher because if I had to have a career I wanted to be in one that I could work around my kids schedules. Yeah, I was 8 when I decided this.
I am right there with you. Me and two other of my girlfriends all started ttc the same month, and of course they both got pg the first try. They have both had their babies the beginning of this month. Then there is my boss who started trying and her husband wanted a summer baby so he decided he was going to "pull out" but she ended up getting pregnant that first month too and she is due in December. Then to top it all of with a cherry I have another friend who got preg on her third try. So, needless the say I totally understand where you are coming from and this can be such a hard journey especially when everyon around you seems to be SUPER fertile. Good luck in your journey
__________________ Me-26 DH-26 Married 04/07/07
TTC #1
Cycles 1-3: 2.5 mg Femara O'd BFN
Cycle 4 & 7: 80mg Soy O'd BFN
Cycle 5 & 6: 2.5mg Femara: O'd BFN
Cycle 8&9: 5mg Femara, Trigger & IUI:BFN
Cycle 10: 5mg Femara, Injections, &Trigger: BFN
Cycle 11: 5mg Femara, Injections, Trigger: BFN On a TTC Break for a while
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I completely understand!!!! I have a friend who has 2 daughters and with both of them her husband & her would be like "well we will get pregnant in Aug" and sure enough their 1st came the following May and then they were like "we are going on a cruise in May (2 years later) and we will get pregnant" and sure enough in Jan. came baby number 2. I completely know how you say you feel bitter... I feel the same... for some reason unknown to me I have been dealt this hand and I just wish I knew why...
yes you do have that right to feel that way. Its very hard and many of us feel it. I'm sorry hun ! (hugs)
__________________ Jan 2010 Met 2000mg..BFP !!!!
12dpo = beta 182 P4= 14
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19dpo = beta 2,185
1st U/S - 2/9
Prometrium 200mg
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Thanks ladies! The worst is when people tell me to relax, or stop thinking about it. Or even better, "It will happen in God's timing"
Ok I realize that it will, but I am still entitled to feel hurt/pain/anger etc.
That is definately the worst! It sucks but we'll all be here for you! I have a cousin (who I love dearly!) that took over a year to get pregnant, but no fertility issues it just wasn't happening. She keeps telling me that 9 months isn't really that long to be trying and maybe I jumped to meds too soon. Uh hello, I don't have a period whatsover when not on meds. It's not that I'm just "not" getting pregnant!
Oh and just forget about it and it will happen.... How can you forget about it when you're popping pills and temping every day?!?!?
Sorry, lol, these meds are making my moody! To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
__________________ Kristina
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May - October 2009: 5 rounds of clomid, all BFN's
"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much!" - Mother Teresa
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That is definately the worst! It sucks but we'll all be here for you! I have a cousin (who I love dearly!) that took over a year to get pregnant, but no fertility issues it just wasn't happening. She keeps telling me that 9 months isn't really that long to be trying and maybe I jumped to meds too soon. Uh hello, I don't have a period whatsover when not on meds. It's not that I'm just "not" getting pregnant!
Oh and just forget about it and it will happen.... How can you forget about it when you're popping pills and temping every day?!?!?
Sorry, lol, these meds are making my moody! To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
LOL I know!
I was told on Sunday to just forget it. I will admit that my response was a little snarky.
BUT COME ON. Infertility isn't that uncommon anymore. People need to learn to stop saying stupid things LOL
Off Diane 35 October 2008
TTC#1 since October 2008
Surprise BFP November 26,2009!!!
Metformin 2000mg
I'm PREGNANT! Someone pinch me for I must be dreaming! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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i know exactly how you are feeling. we all do. i have been ttc for 6 months as well. actively trying w/charting & soy and everything, anyway. we did the whole 'not preventing' thing for 5 years first w/no pregnancies, so i have a lot of anxiety and fear...
i have gotten to a place where i can be happy for SOME women who get pregnant. but usually i'm just jealous, or bitter, or i feel panicked (especially if she's younger than me). it's a sh*tty feeling, watching everyone around you get what you want most. one time i read something on here that someone wrote, i can't remember who it was but it was something like, When you decide to have a baby, you take a number and get in the babyline. for some of us, women keep cutting ahead of us and the guy giving out the babies is calling everyone else's number instead of ours. women who were behind us in line get called sometimes 2 or 3 times without us moving up an inch and no matter how loudly you demand to be seen next... you just get skipped again. and that's how i feel alot of the time.
as for stupid people with stupid comments, i'm surprised i haven't knocked anyone out yet. my fave is, 'oh it's just God's will'. ok so i guess it's his will that i have a to wax a mustache too, right? give me a f-ing break.
__________________
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Not preventing since late 2005.
Actively trying since March 2009.
6 cycles w/soy, 3 O's, all BFN.
4 cycles w/clomid, 4 O's, all BFN.
Taking February off to get some further
testing done.
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Last edited by elizabeth0531; 09-24-2009 at 10:02 PM.
Oh I hear ya too! My evil Sister In Law decided when I started trying that she should too!! Never mind that she already has an 7 month old and all she had to do was stand in the same room as her new husband before she got pregnant the first time. (BTW - they wed end of Nov, baby #1 showed up Sept 2nd). Sure enough, after tracking her temps and trying for a whole entire 30 days they are expecting another little one this March! I swear she can 'will' herself into being pregnant. I know I sound bitter but it's hard not to ask yourself why she deserves to be a Mom more than I do but I think everything happens for a reason. It's like my dad said, "Well if it doesn't happen this time around you just try again next month!" Sounds simple but it's been working for me for the last couple of months.
You are not alone. I feel bad about myself cause of the PCOS it gets very depressing. I work in a hospital so I'm surrounded by pregnant women all the time patients and workers. 2 women who work in my dept just announced there pregnant. One its her first the other already has 3 children a 4 yr old then a set of 2 yr old twins. And now she is pregnant again. It makes me mad. But at the same time I know that I'm not them so I can't get mad. But our day will come one day ladies, even if it doesn't seem like it now we have to keep hope that it will.
__________________ DX'd: 5/18/09
My poor ovaries so many cysts
Dx'd Hypothyroid 5/26/09
Glucose Tolerance Test : 7/17/09 Non-IR
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TTC #1 Current Meds, Supplements as of DEC 09: Synthroid 50 mcg, Metformin 1000 mgs, Vitex, Prenatal, Fish Oil, Red Raspberry Leaf, Red Clover Blossom.
I really like that analogy Elizabeth, it really doesn't feel like that's how it is.
Some days are better than others. Today I am pretty optimistic. I am ready to start this round of Clomid and I am really hoping it works.
You ladies really make me laugh because I know we all share these somewhat exact same thoughts and I can't even try to count anymore the number of women I know that have gotten pregnant. Oops. Surprise. Wow. Really.
I liked your bit about us being in line and our numbers not being called...
Something I have personally found interesting is that I love feeling the excitement in these forums for when a cyster does get a BFN and I feel each is a hope for the rest of us. Yet the second some ***** from high school posts it all over facebook, I want to go barf on her.... and I immediately hate them assuming they will have a healthy pregnancy too... but maybe that's just because I've got increased m/c rates, but still, I love how I can be soooo happy for cysters and soooooooo evil for basically anyone else. Hmmmmmmm.
__________________ Mags age 27 - headaches! Metformin. Acupuncture. Herbs. Factor V Leiden. MTHFR. Overweight. Simply no AF. haven't done anything to not TTC #1 since 01/06, considering to tackle more seriously 01/10.
__________________ Mags age 27 - headaches! Metformin. Acupuncture. Herbs. Factor V Leiden. MTHFR. Overweight. Simply no AF. haven't done anything to not TTC #1 since 01/06, considering to tackle more seriously 01/10.
I am getting really close to losing it 
