We are thinking adoption is the way to go at this point but am afraid of one thing. Are you guys afraid to about the birthmom wanting her kid back years after the adoption or right after? What happens if she has second thoughts? It really freaks me out!!! Go to www.msnbc.com there is a story in there about a 3 yr.old boy that was returned back to his birthmom.
You might want to consider International adoption. It would be much less likely that a birthmom would come to the US from another country to claim her child.
Good Luck
Kath
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Sometimes believe it or not an "open" adoption makes this less likely...
I guess if the Birth mom feels involved or updated and knows her child is being raised and is happy she will feel at ease...
We have adopted Internationally to hopefully avoid this issue...
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Jodie, there is so much to this story. i'm in florida and it is on the news everyday. the adoption was never finalized. the birth father wanted to get the boy back when he was like 6 months old AND THEN the birth mother decided to try to get him back. then the adoptive parents fought for all this time. it's a big long complicated story and in no way should reflect how adoption is usually done. i'm pretty sure that usually the rights have to be signed away by the birth parents prior to the adoption, this was not done in this case. i do agree that after 3 years the boy should be able to stay with his adoptive parents. i am hoping they win the appeal.
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I just wanted to let you know that open adoption can be a wonderful thing!! My little sister was adopted when I was 17 in an open adoption. We met the birth mother and the sisters and brother. We were at the hospital 1 hr after she was born and she was brought home from the hospital by us. We never had any issues and both parents signed their rights away. That is the key.. BOTH biological parents must sign their rights away and once that is done there is nothing they legally can do after the 30 day waiting period is over (it is 30 days here in MS).
The judge in my sister's case didn't even make us wait the 30 days. She was 10 days old when she became legally my sister. My mother still writes to the birth mother and gives her updates but she has never caused any problems at all. It will be my sisters decision when she is old enough wether or not she wants to meet her. (She is 8 now) Open adoption can be a wonderful thing and also is not aways as expensive as using an agency.
Good Luck!!!
Connie
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Ah, a few of you answered my question. I clicked the link but could not find the story.
Yes, in cases where TPR (termination of parental rights) has not occured, yes it can happen that someone "steps up" to take the child back.
I would hope the family would've known if TPR hadn't happened. If they did know, then they knew it would be what they call a "legal risk adoptive placement", which means TPR hasn't happened, but is expected to, but it's called legal risk because sometimes a scenario like this happens.
I am scared to adopt! heres why..... 
