I am so down

SuzanneStar · 06-16-2006, 01:46 PM

Hiya cysters

I am sorry i am just needing somewhere to vent.

Well firstly i am late on my Af i am now on CD44 and i have tested 4 times and they have all shown up negative

I am feeling so low inside and just thinking when will it be my turn.

I have 3 friends who have just found out they are prgnant and they keep sending me texts saying we are feeling so crappy today must be this that and the other. They just do not think

I mean i love to be there for them but not when i am struggling with myself at moment. One of them just sent me message saying they want 4 as it was easy to do

I keep thinking i am letting my Dh2B down

I feel so sad i am crying as i a writing this.
Why can i not be normal i just want a family.

I feel as if my life has just been splattered against a wall and my heart has been broken everyone i know seems to be glowing and i seem to be stuck under a grey cloud that follows me everywhere.

sorry to go on

cjboo1 · 06-18-2006, 03:58 AM

You're not alone under your grey cloud many of us are there with you.. While we are not ttc right now (so no need to wory about me going wow were pg) but i am trying to lose weight and its just not happening for me. I see family all of the time who are like you would look so much better if you would just lose weight. I had a cousing offer to work out with me today... i was like look i can cut my calories to 1000 per day, excercise 2 hrs per day 6 days a week and still not lose any weight.... She was like oh well i have no excuses. I was like damn its not an excuse its the ruttin' truth.

SO youre not alone under that grey cloud... while everyones may not be for the same reason many of us are there with you.

acrowe · 06-18-2006, 04:11 AM

Im sorry sweetie. I am reading Tori Amos's bio right now and she talks of the constant disappointments of trying to conceive. I havent yet tried to have a baby but the disappointment must be consuming. Keep in your mind that something good MUST come from all this. Stay Strong.

SuzanneStar · 06-20-2006, 11:30 PM

Thanks me petals for the support

My friend ( i am starting to use that term loosely) is still playing on her being PG and uses it as an excuse every chance she gets. I think she knows it is getting to me

sleepydumpling · 06-21-2006, 03:47 AM

Suzanne, I do know how you feel. I stand back here and watch all my friends get married and have families when I am still single and alone. It sucks!!

My only suggestion is that to take your focus off the "big picture" just for a little while. Watch a DVD, read a book, listen to a CD - anything just to give your poor overworked brain a rest just for a little bit.

Hugs
Kath

SuzanneStar · 06-21-2006, 04:19 AM

Thanks Kath hun

that is a good idea

06-23-2006, 08:13 PM

Hugs to you Suzanne