My DH & I got into a fight just now b/c he wants to go away for the weekend in 3 weeks... My hCG levels are still in the 3,000 & last time I m/c'd they took months to go down to 0. It's like he's trying to forget everything....we just found out there was no baby 2 days ago, what does he expect me to do & how does he expect me to act! He told me that I only care about myself & I don't care that he's been working w/o a vacation for 2 1/2 years...like I haven't been doing anything, I've just been pg & had 4 m/c's in the past 1 1/2 years & worked part of the time as well.... I'm just so frusterated right now, it's like he doesn't understand & I have no one else to talk to b/c I don't have any friends & no one knows about this last one & they probably wouldn't care anyways
I guess I just needed to vent...
Traci
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I know how you feel.
I knew about this pg & I care!!
It's too bad about dh being a pain right now hopefully you can talk about it later. Sometimes it seems they only see it from there side hey!! If you need to talk you can pm me.
Hope you have a better day tomorrow!!
Thinking of ya!!
Have you explained to DH how you are feeling? My DH didn't get it either- I finally had to sit hom down, and using "I" statements (I feel this way, I am hurt by...), tell him what was going through my head. He had no idea how deeply the m/c had affected me, or how his actions (acting like nothing had happened) were hurting me. My doc warned me that m/c don;t usually impact men as strongly as they impact the women who were actually carrying the babies.
Can you suggest to your DH, going on the trip, but postponing it a month or so?
Traci,
I'm sorry that the men just don't get how deep this stuff goes for us women. They grieve differently, and in many ways want to "get away", so that might be at work here as well. He is probably incapable of telling you that in words. Cavemen usually grunt rather than speak, right?
Anyway, I agree that postponing a trip until you can plan and be happy about it would be great, or plan a weekend at a hotel or bed and breakfast that isn't far away, and pretend to be tourists in your own area. This works wonders for me and Brad, especially if there is a huge whirlpool bathtub for two in the hotel room. I think a lot of marriage counselling could be done away with if people would give that a shot first.
I hope it works out, and I hope the two of you understand each other better. I'm sure he wants what is best for you but doesn't know what that is. And he is hurting too, so be gentle.
((Hugs))
Sheri
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I'm so sorry about your latest loss. It just seems hard for husbands in general to deal with m/c. They just don't have the same reactions as we do. We carried these little lives inside of us and they didn't. I know I was so frustrated with my dh after our loss. I was a mess and he kept saying, "We'll just try again." I felt like it negated our little angel. He tried his best to be understanding, but he just couldn't relate like I wanted him too.
We're always here if you need to talk.
Karla
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I was just ordering a pregnancy and infant loss awareness pin and stumbled across this site http://www.amothersgrief.com/. They have an article this month about how men deal with pregnancy loss differently.
Karla
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Thanks everyone. The fight was completely ridiculous! He said yesterday that he has no time to even go away for a day b/c he's working so much (he works for a company in Germany & another company here in TX, both full time & he leaves for Germany for a week on Tuesday)...so basically, it was a fight about nothing just because
Traci
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I'm glad you did talk your husband. I think those fights about nothing are pretty normal after a loss. Men deal with loss differently and often need to let off steam. Unfortunately they often let it off at us
I did want to say though, when we lost Isaac, after a few weeks of grieving, my husband and I did arrange to take a weekend trip away. I was pretty reluctant because I was still crying every day but my husband said he really wanted to and I agreed to give it a try. It actually was really wonderful, and helped me to feel just a little human again. Like maybe somehow I would survive this. So, you really need to do what feels right to you, and if you aren't ready to go away than don't do it yet. But maybe at least think about it...it was a big help to us...got us back on the same page again.
Aviva
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I am so frusterated 
He said yesterday that he has no time to even go away for a day b/c he's working so much (he works for a company in Germany & another company here in TX, both full time & he leaves for Germany for a week on Tuesday)...so basically, it was a fight about nothing just because
