I am so furious and I don't know what to do anymore.(long and whiney)

Kristina921 · 04-12-2006, 03:45 PM

I was going to post this on the TTC board but I thought you guys would understand more where I am coming from. I had my first appt with an RE a few weeks ago. They took 13 vials of blood and ultrasound was done. We talked briefly about my weight and I said that I was trying to eat good and exercise and he said good, keep that up. He said to make an appt in about 2 weeks so we could discuss the results and make a plan on what to do next. Yesterday, I got a letter in the mail from him. I am going to type it word for word....

Quote:

Your preliminary blood testing results does not indicate an significant degree of "PCOS" (polycystic ovarian syndrome), nor any other hormonal conditions causing your weight problem. Your weight therefore is most likely reflecting diet and exercise issues. For this I would strongly encourage you to join an organized weight reduction program such as Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig. For now I think your weight goal should be no more than 200 pounds before you next attempt pregnancy. Your blood tests for recurrent pregnancy loss are not yet complete. We can meet in another 10-14 days when all those tests should be finished. In the meantime you can stay on the metformin as this will assist you in weight loss.

I am literally at a loss for words I am so upset. So basically he's saying that my PCOS has magically disappeared? Isn't that what metformin is for? To help regulate your hormones and insulin? So wouldn't my blood tests be better with diet and metformin? When I had the ultrasound, he even commented on the fact that I still had the string of pearls in my ovaries. I just don't know what to do now. I've read so many stories on this board about fat phobic doctors and I thought I was so lucky that I hadn't had to go through that....My GP and my gyn mentioned it would be good to lose weight but never said that they wouldn't help me get pregnant. So what he is saying is that I keep losing my babies because I'm fat?? If that were the case, fat people would never have children...I know for a fact that I have low progesterone....With my last loss, my progesterone on 15 dpo was only 1.1 !

What do I do now? Take my chances? I was thinking of going on a very strict diet (I need to lose 30 lbs to get to 200) and trying to do it on my own with extra B6 and NPC. I don't understand what doctors seem to have against progesterone supplements...I asked him about the supplements, if they would help me because he even mentioned that he thought I had a LPD....He said that if the pregnancy was "doomed" that no amount of progesterone supplements would save it. What a crock of sh*t.

What would you guys do? I was thinking of going back to my gyn with the note and tell him that I didn't mind not being monitered, if he would just give me a prescription for supplements...I don't think he would do that but I don't know what else to do. I am not going to wait to lose the weight before I TTC. I think it's just an excuse made by a doctor that has something against fat people.

I still have refills on my clomid prescription and I read that it can also help with LPD because it helps mature the follicles....Do I take it with no monitering?

I just don't know what to do anymore....

Tia38 · 04-12-2006, 04:13 PM

I am so sorry for your loss and the stupid letter from your stupid RE. Hugs!

I'm not sure how your PCOS would miracously be cured. Very odd (IMHO).

My advice? Take a deep breath. Write down all your questions (try to make them constructive rather than expressing your frustration) and schedule the follow up for when the results from your recurrent m/c testing is in. Ask the RE all the questions you've asked us.

Personally I am frustrated on the progesterone front. My clinic just won't test for it (because it can fluctuate so much during even a single day) and doesn't acknowledge that PCOSers often have progesterone deficiencies.

As I understand the extra progesterone won't hurt, so I'm not sure why my clinic won't prescribe it. They do include it in IVF cycles (because of the other meds involved) but don't believe it helps in IUI, even for PCOSers.

Most importantly, I don't know how recent your last loss was, but take the time to grieve, and for your body to recover before TTC again.

Hugs.
-Tia

Phoenix Rising ^^^ · 04-12-2006, 09:00 PM

((((((Hugs))))))

I'm so sorry you have to put up with such a jerk. I would take Tia's advice and write down my questions, and go to the next appointment full of questions. Before I left, I would ask the nurse or receptionist for copies of my medical records and then I would seek a second opinion.

Maybe you can find another Dr. without a weight bias.

michele cosgrove · 04-12-2006, 09:26 PM

I am so sorry for the way your doctor treated you ! I have recently been diagnosed w/pcos . Looking back now , I have probably had some degree since I was 19 (I am now 36) . It took a woman doctor that finally listened to me , did not be-little me , and found a link to my symptoms . Yes , it may sound bias to say that women doctors are more understanding , but it worked for me . Do not give up hope in conceiving , I had five miscarriages before we were blessed with my son and daughter . Good Luck ! Michele

Gnzls924 · 04-13-2006, 06:56 AM

I am so sorry you had to receive that letter. I had a similar experience with a doctor at the university of chicago. He is supposed to be an expert on PCOS, but when I saw him, I had been on metformin for three years. He told me that I did not have PCOS (although i have ALL the outward signs) and that I needed to lose weight. so then I asked him, how does me being on metformin for 3 years factor into all of this blood work? Shouldn't I have been off metformin before they did bloodwork so that he could see what my body was doing on it's own? He just gave me one of THOSE looks...like "maybe."

I say i have it...only because while on met, my periods are more regular and other symptoms have calm down.

If it were me, and I had to return to that doctor, I would take the letter and confront him word for word. Ask him why he wrote this, when clearly during your last appointment you were told that your ultrasound showed the classic sign (string of pearls) on your ovaries....it's just a thought. Sometimes i wonder if doctors remember their patients at all....especially when they write those letters. Maybe looking for a female doc maybe helpful.

What I would go back to get is the results from the bloodwork...because they can be very expensive to repeat.

But this all brings to mind, my latest experience with an ENT. I went there for a clinical visit for a lump they found under my chin during a recent cat scan. All I needed to know from the EAR NOSE AND THROAT doctor was whether I needed to have surgery to remove it or not. That seems easy enough....but no Dr. ENT had to go into how if I lost a little weight all my problems would be better....I felt like say "no S&&t...sherlock!" But I did manage to tell him...well I am not here to discuss my weight with you. I am here about this lump which is here not as a result of my weight. I think I caught him off guard. But i will bring this up to my general doc next time I see him...after all he recommended him to me. I just wonder if these docs really think about what they are saying. My goodness I know i am fat...do i need to lectured about it 35 years of age...no thank you, I have a mother for that! LOL And i just think about the women who would be intimidated by what a doctor might say...and not seek medical advice when they need it for fear of hearing or being lectured about their weight.

Oh girl, don't get me started....Just hold your head high when you go there next time! Remember we are here for you always!!

Kristina921 · 04-13-2006, 03:00 PM

Thank you all for your replies. I have calmed down alot since I got the letter...DH is going with me to the appt. He agrees with you all that we should at least go and get the rest of the test results. I am going to try and not blow up at the appt...I will try and stay calm and then calmly ask the front desk nurse to mail me a copy of my chart with all the results. I think I am going to go back to my regular gyn and discuss what else we can do. I really believe that it's a LPD causing my m/c's, not just that I'm fat. If the blood work is all normal except my progesterone, I don't know what else it could be. I will see if he will let me do clomid/progesterone for a few months.

What's funny (well not really) is that after all this time and losing 30 lbs already since being dx'ed, I really don't feel that "fat" anymore. I know I am overweight and could stand to lose but I dont feel like it holds me back at all. Most of the time I try and eat good and try to stay fairly active....If we are "healthy" except for being alittle overweight, why wouldn't we be able to TTC? Is it just that doctors are SO against fluffy women? The doctor said so himself that all my tests were normal...That says to me that I should be healthy enough to have a baby....

It's all just so frustrating....I'm almost ready to give up.

lovepotato · 04-13-2006, 06:58 PM

I seriously can't believe these doctors. I haven't had a doctor be really mean about my weight since I gained like 30 lbs when I was on the pill. Then the doctor actually called me fat.
I went to see a pulmonologist, and he told me to get under 200. That's about 15 lbs. He didn't really say it mean. It's true. I gained about 10 lbs, ad my breathing thing came back. It's probably related. He did make a comment about how no one expects me to weigh 140, so I made a joke about how when I weighed 140, people thought I was anorexic. I'm a thick girl.
My OB doesn't have a problem with my weight. When I was diagnosed with PCOS, I weighed almost 230, and I was eating really bad and not working out.
So, I started eating better and working out, and it worked. I know it doesn't for a lot of PCOSers, but I'm glad I tried on my own without meds, at least for a little bit. I have a mild case of PCOS apparently.

I can't believe an RE would tell you you didn't have PCOS anymore. That's exactly like telling a diabetic that it went away just b/c their sugar levels were okay. PCOS isn't just about bad levels. It's good that your levels were normal! It means whatever you're doing is working!

I'm glad your DH is going. Hopefully he has some questions too, and your RE won't be a jerk when you see him.

guineapig · 04-24-2006, 10:18 PM

You could try natural progesterone cream yourself from a health store or herbal place. Just wait until AFTER your temps go up to start it, when you're sure you've already ovulated.

I'm average size and I bullied my RE into testing progesterone & ongoing Prometrium. So many PCOS have that progesterone problem--we're not like normal old pregnancies.

Also, every lab has a different value of "normal." My lab values have always been "normal" but I have the PCOS, trust me. Hairloss, bleeding endlessly, and Ultrasounds don't lie! One doctor told me my values were "perfect" and there was nothing wrong with me except I was psychotic. Well, after he said that I was! LOL