I am so scared for my D and C tomorrow

TTCTeacher · 03-19-2009, 05:36 PM

I cant even believe this. I go for an ultrasound on Wednesday and now one day later I am preparing to have an abortion. They can call it a fancy D and C, but its an abortion. Ok sure they say the baby is non-viable, but I still feel disgusted.

My RE was concerned that my gest sac was so large that if I do m/c naturally I could end up in a lot of pain, or not pass it all so he suggested a D and C. I also cant see how I could walk around for God knows how long with a dead baby inside of me.

I am so scared that thie D and C will do damage to me and Ill never have a baby. But the RE and the OB both said because my body is not spotting, still having all pg. symptoms, that my body could take a long time like weeks or it could be days to even realize the baby is gone. I couldnt risk being at work, my husband out of town and starting to bleed at work. No option is good, natural waiting or D and C, but I cant help but second guess myself.

WHy did this happen. I cant function, I dont know if I will ever be normal again.

RunnerDuck · 03-19-2009, 05:42 PM

I'm so sorry this turned out this way.

If you don't want the D&C though - don't go through with it. Have they offered cytotec as an option?? My 1st and 3rd m/c, I used cytotec to induce it at home. Since there is a weekend coming up - you might be able to use the cytotec Friday night, m/c saturday, and not have too much problems with work. It's a possibility.

I was never comfortable with the idea of a D&C either.

PCOSDC · 03-19-2009, 05:48 PM

Don't feel pressured to do anything until your ready. You can pass a gestational sac at home no problem (I did it twice) I was also going to pass a 14 week fetus (in hospital) but they could not successfully induce me and I had to have a D and C. The D and C is not that bad. You get knocked out completely so it feels like you close your eyes for a second and it's over. There was some cramping and bleeding for me for a few days afterwards but like I said I was well into my 2nd trimester when I had it so it might not be the same for everyone.
Also if you want to wait it out you can do it safely. I wait 12 weeks to pass my first baby. It was tough and I wanted to have help (drugs or D and C) but all my doctors pushed for me to wait it out and do it naturally so I did and I'm glad I did I guess.

The reality of it is that there is no "good" way for this to happen. It all sucks and it's a very hard thing to go through. Never hold back your tears just let them out. Grieve in whatever way you need to and talk to someone if you need to.

Good Luck.

GatorGal · 03-20-2009, 09:59 PM

Not having a D & C was a huge mistake for me. When we found out the baby had no heart beat on 2/12 we decided to take the meds to induce the miscarriage. I took the meds on 2/13 and it was the most horrible pain ever. I went to the doctor and he said that everything appeared to be gone which confused me because I never saw anything but bright red blood come out. I then bled for three weeks and ended up hemmoraging at work a week ago. I was going through a pad plus a tampon in less than an hour. I ended up at the ER and had to have a D & C because there was still a lot of conception materials inside of me. It was a horrible drawn out process and every day I saw the blood, I was reminded of what I was losing.

You have to do what is best for you. If this ever, God forbid, happens to us again, I will be opting for the D & C. It was too much for me to bear to see the blood every day.

I am so sorry for your loss.

R0xyg4l · 03-21-2009, 02:36 AM

Jen, I don't think you ever are "normal" again. It leaves some very remarkable emotional scars to have to go through this. Essentially it is an abortion... can you believe that some people actually do this to a healthy pregnancy? I had a D&C October 31st and it looks like I'm headed towards another next Wednesday. It stinks the day before my DD's bday we have to find out that we lost another baby. I'm going to try to make her bday the greatest I can... My body is doing the same thing essentially.. the same as my 16 wk loss. Absolutely no s/s of m/c. If I waited for it to happen naturally I'd wait forever. The bonus with the D&C is it's quick, relatively painless and less bleeding.

If you need support please let me know. You'll get through this. I know the outlook seems bleak right now but the future will be brighter. We have to have better days ahead of us. Somewhere within the depths of our souls we have to pull that courage we never knew we had and keep chugging along. Good luck and I hope everything is going well.

nae · 03-21-2009, 02:50 AM

Every m/c is different. I had a m/c at home at 5 weeks with the worst pain ever!! Then I had a m/c at home at 8 weeks... total PAIN FREE!! I passed the sac and placenta!! Know your heart and do what's best in your eyes.

Lnamreep · 03-21-2009, 02:59 AM

I mc naturally, but my levels have not dropped much. They are actually beginning to increase again. I go in for an ultrasound, but she said they may due a D&C next week.

From the posts I read that they knock you out, but what exactly do they do? Scrape inside your uterus or what?????

I would just like to know what is going on before I end up getting it done.

PCOSDC · 03-21-2009, 10:17 AM

you can google d and c and get a pretty good explaination of exactly what they do but yes essentially they scrap out the contents of your uterus. The exact procedure depends on how far along you are as well.

TTCTeacher · 03-21-2009, 10:28 AM

Hey girls, so sorry for your losses as well. I never even knew the meaning of loss until now. I did have an u/s ton conform and the baby was def. not aline. The D and C was the best thing for me and I begged the OB not to damage my cervix or uterus, and she said I would heal quickly and could make a baby in one cycle again! Actually this OB ( from my practice but I dont see her) was the best ting to happen b/c she was kind, caring and gentle.

I got local anesthesia and no s/e, unline my lap/hys under general-I was a WRECk w/ nausea, pain and PROJECTILE vomiting!

I bled after the procedure-I went to the bathroom at the hospital and belad all down my legs, ewww...but after that ust light blood and some spottng last night on the TP and pad. Some cramps, normal and fine w/ Motrin.

I am ok-like Ill be functioing, and then all of a sudden startc rying like mad. Then ok for a few hours and it happens again. All the nurses and esp. the anesthesiologist were amazing-I mean they treat you EXTRA nice when you lose a baby-and women will come tell you how it happened to them and how many kids they have and they old me not not give up.

We shall see, right?

If anyone wants to talk, please do, I feel very alone. And if I can help you too-that would be great!

wannabamama · 03-23-2009, 12:38 PM

Kristina and Jen - We were all in the Oct. thread together. This my baby did not have a heartbeat, and was measuring only about 7weeks 3 days. The baby stopped growing sometime after my last visit to the RE last Monday. Either my RE or OB will be taking me through the D&C procedure. I'm confused, sad, mad, etc. all rolled up into one. Just don't know what to do. I'm scared about this D&C, but my OB will explain all my options tomorrow at my appt. I wish you all the best through this devastating time.

annem84 · 03-23-2009, 05:57 PM

I've done it naturally 3/4 (Maya was stillborn). I dont know how far along you are but I was able to do it naturally with a 11 week old baby--horrible thing emotionally but for me -- I was petrified of a D&C.

IMO--Not Viable are two of the worst words joined together in the English language. I heard it so many times with the last m/c that I wanted to kick my doctor every time he said.

Take gentle care of yourself (hugs)