I was at Wendy's eating my chicken nuggets and listening to the radio at lunch today....A song came on the radio and I just lost it. It was the Puff daddy song, the one that was a tribute to Biggie...It's the one that mimics the Sting song, Every Step you Take. Anyway...I'm not usually sentimental and it's been 5 months since my last loss and I just brokedown for some reason. That song doesn't even have anything to do with my loss so I'm not sure why it triggered my sadness....I sat and cried for a good 15 minutes after it was over. I was thinking about my Angels and how I wonder if they are watching over me. I was thinking about how even if I do somehow have a living child, it will never ever replace all the babies I've never gotten to hold and kiss.
ok, crying again....I thought the clomid craziness would be gone by now!
Thanks girls, ((((hug))))
__________________ Me - 31 DH - 33 Married 8/8/1998
PCOS Dx. 07/04
4 early losses over 7 years.
BFP! Aug 14th!
Gavin Michael!! Born 4/16/09 7lbs 8 oz
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((Kristina)). Sometimes the grief can hit us all over again when we think we're past it. The hormones from the clomid probably aren't helping you, either!
That song is really beautiful, and I can tell that it was written with a lot of love and grief, because it hits deeply for me too. I'm glad you got that out of your system, because sometimes we need a trigger to release some pressure that builds. Those babies will always be yours, and you have the right to love and miss them in whatever way your heart sees fit. I wish you peace. (((hugs)))
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs
Sometimes, I think we all have moments that we just lose it. We don't even always know the trigger. That song may not have a relationship with your angels, but it does have a relationship with grief and loss. There are songs that come on the radio sometimes that are about relationship loss that have a chorus or a line that makes me think about my losses and I will cry. Though crying maybe hard, especially when it comes out of the blue, it can also be theraputic. We have to grieve. Our babies are worth grieving for, forever. Yes, even when you have a living child.
I broke down in the parking lot at Wendy's 
to you. Sometimes grief hits us when we least expect it.
