I can't seem to leave the house

Danielle B. · 10-09-2003, 04:08 PM

Hi all. I have anxiety disorder along with depression (and PCOS of course). I can't seem to get motivated anymore. It's so hard to leave the house in the morning. I haven't been to school in about 4 weeks. I barely make it to work (the 3 days a week I do work). I am 31 and have just gone through a battle of depression. I have increased my dosage of Effexor (150 mg daily), and although I do feel much better (no longer staying in bed all day long) I still can't seem to get motivated to get my life back.

My mate thinks I'm lazy and not disciplined, but I just can't do it!! I always wake up in the am, and say aww, I'll go back to school tomorrow. Once I'm out and about I seem to get back in the groove, but I just can't get there. I'm so scared I'm gonna wind up a failure and a nobody. I used to have so many goals, and do a ton of stuff throughout the day. Now I'm nothing. Can someone tell me what's going on???? I've thought about going back to therapy, but the damn receptionist keeps me on hold for hours it seems....

pomot5 · 10-09-2003, 08:01 PM

Danielle B, I was in your situation 2 years ago. But I made it by taking one day at a time and with effexor, geodon & clonopin. Don't let anyone tell you you are lazy. As they do not understand your state of mind. Even today I force myself to get up and after the shower I am ok ready to drive 50 minutes to work and still hold a stressful production support job & three kids. If I can do it you can too. Get moving exercise otherwise you can gain weight & get diabetes like me. No one could motivate me enough. Therapy helped me too. Keep a journal of what you feel everyday. When you put your thoughts on paper they disappear from your brain. Take long walks and tire your body. You are what you believe in. Believe in yourself, do one thing at a time and don't get burned out to be a multitasker. It will come eventually. Take one hour at a time when you can't get motivated.When you are sad write about why you are sad, and what factors are making you sad. Keep faith.
I am telling you all this as I went thru the saga very alone. I did not find this web-site or no family support.I was grieving for my mother's death. Kids were with my ex. I attempted suicide and was in a hospital. A friend ( I thought ) broke my heart and I could not take it. I was foolish and was not educated enough about manic depression. I went on disability, slowly recovered. So please seek proffessional help before it gets out of hands. If you need to talk please email me druva11@yahoo.com
Take meds, exercise, eat right and pray everyday. It will be ok. The zeal will come back eventually.
So take care!

Danielle B. · 10-09-2003, 08:33 PM

I do feel a bit better knowing I'm not by myself. I thought I was the only one who had to force herself to do everyday things (even while on meds). I'm going to really force myself to go to work tomorrow (and I'll let you know how I make out). I am a hairdresser so I can kind of make up my own schdule. I think that's what messes me up...but I'm going to force myself because I don't want to be a loser! I want to be active and enjoy life, and be able to talk to people without being scared of everything. Sometimes I think I'm afraid of success. I want to have a lot of clients, I want to be able to pay my bills, I want a family, and I want a house (sorry I'm rambling, but I'm writing all of my feelings)! I want to be someone my parents will be proud of.

oohmercyme · 10-09-2003, 08:48 PM

Cyster- I hear what you're saying- have been there on on numerous occassions. The worst for me was when I was able to make my own schedule and worked alone, I just couldn't handle it at all! Now I am back to a job that is very structured and keeps me busy and it is so much better for me (though I have been know to call in sick for a week becasue I just can't drag my sorry butt outta bed). I hope your mate begins to understand what depression and anxiety disorders are really about so you get some support. I know many people think we are being lazy- but you and I both know its nothing to do with that. Since you are struggling to make the best life you can with the hand you have been dealt, I'm sure you are someone your parents can be and are proud of. All the best cyster!