Hey,
After alot of upset and pain work delivered the icing on the cake to me this week. They transfered me to another shop where the people are nasty and its a 2hr train ride from my house.
This caused something of a meltdown. I got home from work and went crazy i cried and cried and cried i was punching myself in the face throwing myself on the floor so i decided i needed help.
I went to my new Dr who has prescibed me some anti depressants but i remember my dad being on them and he was spaced out all the time and im scared of being like that. I am also scared of making things worse for myself and getting addicted.
But at the moment i have been signed off work and the slightest upset makes me want to hurt myself i even considered suicide the otherday but reading sillies post shocked me out of it
PCOS is ruining my relationship with my boyfriend and my family i wouldnt be able to cope if i lose my boyfriend but i know that what I am doing is driving him away.
I have so many bad memories going through my head right now and i truly hate the person i used to be and that i have become
First of all slow down and take a deep breath. I know what youre going through.... Most of us have been there in one way shape form or another over our liftimes. I have been there several times. It seems to me that you might want to look into therapy no taking medications. I wasn't that fond of the meds my Dr. rxed me so i stoped taking them. And went some where else to get the help i needed. You have already accomplished the hardest part.... admiting that there is a problem. I hope you find the help you need and dont forget that we are all here to support you.
I really hope things get better for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Honey, just stay strong and fight this, you can do it and you will win. We are here for you. PM if you need to talk or vent. I know things will get better just know that there will be brighter days soon!! STAY STRONG!!! ((((((HUGS))))))
sorry u're having such a hard time. try to keep going. the first step and often the hardest on the road to recovery is asking for help - and u've done it - well done you! you should hold yor head up high and be proud, it'll be only a matter of time now before u start to feel better and get things under control with proper help.
i'd really recommend you see a counsellor even if its just so u have someone u dont know to talk to without ever being judged, it has helped me soooo much having someone who actually listens to me and doesnt judge. Also might help u to externalise and talk through your problems and what is bothering you. Is great u saw your doctor - keep working with him to find what works best for you: ask him about counsellors etc, and if u do take antidepressants you wont get addicted to them, just start on a low dose. i ddnt want to go on them at first, tried natural things but then i thought if i had a broken leg or a chest infection i wouldn't say no to painkillers or antibiotics, so why when it comes to depresion do we not just take anti-depressants as we have a chemical imbalance in our brain and anti-d's help fix that - just a thought - is up to you though - dont want to tell you what to do is just my opinion.
try to make sure u do some daily exercise - it really helps me. though ive been very down, i am worse when i dont do any exercise, and the past few days i have run everyday and definately feeling a bit better for it. but it takes time.
i'm here for you and i know how u feel - please please email/msn/message me ANYTIME u want - anything, as much or as little as you want, day or night. would be good to try to meet up if u think u could face it when i'm back in hertfordshire for the Summer in a few weeks time.
but for now just take things day by day. set yourself little tasks, break things down into more manageable chunks, maybe take a holiday even if just a longer break from work?
keep fighting the negative feelings, u really do sound like a fighter, please don't let the PCOS win! u're strong, keep going on the hormone rollercoaster ride from hell - i know how it feels but it can and does get better...
thinking of you
xxxx
__________________ Tinks "Be nice to everyone u meet, they may be fighting a battle u know nothing about."
"A smile is the prettiest thing u can wear," but " a true friend is someone who sees the pain in ur eyes while everyone else believes the smile on ur face."
"Letting go doesn't mean giving up, it means accepting some things weren't meant to be."
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Sorry to here you're finding it so hard. Glad your gp has signed you off work. Why don't you start looking for a new job, that is a long way to travel, and its a stress you don't need.
You didn't say why PCOS is causing trouble with your man- though i can think of loads of reasons it does for me! Has he had a look on here?
I'm really glad you found some help from this site, I've been where you are and I resisted medication as I remember what it did to my mum- she was a zombie for about 5 years. I'm sure it was more complex than that and not just the meds. but it has really put me off.
PM me if you want to chat
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Started Lighter Life 07.07.08
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I cant cope anymore 
