My husband and I have always been interested in adopting...even if/when we have our own. I am trying on my 3rd Clomid cycle but still have a strong desire to adopt. We have a strong faith and have looked into a Christian agency, however, the fees were almost $20,000. We can afford a child but don't have that kind of money up front for anything! Anyone know where to start in NJ, if we don't have that kind of money. I am open to adopting from other countries as well but just don't know where to start. Thank you!
Well if you plan on doing an international adoption you need to decide on the country and see what kind of requirements they have in place. This could be the age of the applicants, the length of stay etc.
You mentioned you checked into one agency, have you contacted any others just see what they require? Good luck.
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DH and I had planned to go through an agency for a closed, domestic adoption but then discovered we were pregnant. (Surprise, lol!) We still plan to adopt our second child, but we'll be going through the Texas DFPS to adopt an older infant or toddler from the foster care system. The cost is minimal and much easier for us to handle than the original 15-20K we'd been quoted through private agencies.
Keep in mind that international adoptions are going to be just as expensive, if not more. You'll have to travel to the country once or twice, usually for extended periods. You'll also have to pay for all kinds of document translations, jump through all the State Department hoops, etc. We were quoted 18K for China and as high as 35K for a handful of other countries. So it's big bucks...
Adoption.com is a good place to start. You might find more agencies through google. Just be careful when you make your final choice. Don't choose an agency that requires all the money up front or won't refund if you choose to stop using the agency.
Also, try the forums at Adoption.com. You'll likely find someone in your area you can question or get some recommendations.
Good luck!
__________________ Maria (25) & Dave (35)
Married June 16, 2007
PCOS Dx 10/07
Calixta Nyx arrived 09/02/09!!!
Dx'ed with Tetralogy of Fallot
BT Shunt Placement 9/17/09
Complete Repair (Open Heart) in Spring 2010
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Thanks so much. It's so expensive! I am going to look into Bethany Christian in NJ.They have a free information meeting that I'm going to go to next week. The fees can be about the same....up to $25K. But, like you said....they DONT require it up front and apparently, there is a tax credit in NJ. Look into this where you are - I'm not sure if it's a federal or just a state thing - but the credit is up to about 11K so that would greatly improve the cost!
Make sure you research your state's laws. You may want to go to another state to adopt. Some states have better laws for the adoptive parents than others. We are currently looking at agencies in Utah even though we don't live there because of the laws. About the finances, we are getting a loan to cover some of the cost. There is a great federal tax credit, but you don't get it until after you adopt so you will need some cash up front. Good Luck!!!
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Caroline Elizabeth always in my heart
Carolinagirl - I am also in NC and am considering domestic adoption. I would be curious as to why you chose Utah for your agency. If you want to PM me that's fine, too! Thanks!
__________________ Christy (29) & Jeremy (32)
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HSG Dec. 2008 - good
1/30 - Metformin 1700 mg, Menopur 150-225IU - AF??? 3/1 - BFP at 8 weeks! BOY!!!
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We adopted through the foster care system and we did it without an agency-just through job and family services. We had our homestudy done and paperwork at no cost. But we were willing to adopt a sibling group of older kids. There are alot of non profit organizations for those who are willing to take "difficult to place" children. There is also a monthly subsidy you will get until they are 18. Free college tuition, Insurance, and reimbursement for lawyer fees to finalize/travel expenses. I am just saying all this to let those of you out there know because when we were starting out we knew nothing.
The best advice is to call your local child services/ family services and ask about foster care adoption. They have meetings and classes that you can attend and learn all about domestic adoption. Not to mention the classes teach you all about the impact of adoption. I am just sharing my story. At first we thought we were going to go the baby route....attended the classes-prayed about it... and I am sure glad we did. I cannot imagine my life without my kids.....let me know if anyone has any questions. I am willing to share my story on how we came to adopt! I know it can be overwhelming at first!
1st the tax credit is $11500 when you finalize your adoption and can be used on any adoption expenses. That is one your federal taxes. Most states if you live in one where you pay state incomes taxes will have some type of credit.
2nd, yes go check out the foster/adopt route. I admire anyone that could do it b/c we couldn't. We went to the infomational meeting and yes, I am not ashamed to say we wanted our 1st child to be a baby. Well, we sat through that meeting and at the end the lady said that if you were here to think to you are going to adopt a baby forget it. They are hard to come by and most of the time it doesn't work out, b/c it is always in the parent's court to get their act together. Yes, you have a limited time...but...anyhow...we decided that we were going to go to an agency...
Start doing research on your states requirements and join as many online forums that you can for support and questions. There is a great one on Yahoo groups 2Adopt. Wonderful group of AP's and they know what they are talking about. Ask them a question and there is going to be atleast 1 person that has been in that same type of situation. Start calliing to all of the adoption agencies that are in your state 1st. I am going to gaurantee you that about 90% of them want some type of large fee to start. I know that that can be frustrating. I was told before we started adoption to not pay any agencies anything before they have done anything for you. If you go ahead and send them a $10-15K (yes, this is the norm btw) check that means that it is not refundable...you are tied to that agency until you are placed with a baby. That means that if something else comes along...you have a friend of a friend that is looking to place their child or through another agency...then you have to re-examine your funds and decide if you can take the hit. A private lawyer adoption is still going to run atleast $5K b/c of the lawyer fees/social worker fees/homestudy...and that is not including if there is any bm expenses...So...do your research and feel what is best that you can handle....there are so many routes to bringing your child home...I know that it feels overwhelming...trust me I was there....but we made it through it...and at about 8 mos duration for our adoption...which I know is not the norm...but anyhow...if you want to know more about adoption route let me know...and Good luck!
NJ Girl..I am in NJ myself. People from church have adopted from Bethany and thought they were wonderful! They did get a 11K tax break and they adopted from China. You can also use Bethany for a child who is currenlty in foster care. The state will cover most of your costs which helps out a lot. I counsel a child now who has been in foster care for almost 2 years. He is 9 and such an awesome kid. Yes he has behavior issues here and there and a learning disability...but overall he just needs direction. He responds so well to positive encouragement, positive role models, etc. So I am definitely an advocate for those kids who are currently in the foster care program. I eventually may be using Bethany myself. My hubby and I will adopt as well, regardless if we have our own or not. We are at the beginning of our TTC journey. best of luck to you and God bless!!!
I don't know where to start 
