I dont fit in Anywhere

JulieD · 09-06-2002, 12:11 AM

I hate to have a big pitty party for myself but I feel like I don't fit in anywhere on this site. If I do I can't find it. I'm not terribly overweight. I only weigh 160..which is overweight for my height but only by about 25lbs. I'm not trying to conceive anymore because frankly after 5 years by body and mind just can't take it anymore. I'm not having any symptoms of pcos anymore. I'm not trying to adopt because we don't have the money right now. I looked at the threads for adoption but its really hard to read about other people getting their babies while I'm stuck in this stupid rut.
Now I feel guilty because I'm complaining about everything and some of these girls have it far worse than me, but as you all know if your unhappy your unhappy. I just feel like I'm being selfish but Damn..(sorry) I'm almost 30 yrs old and I don't have anything to show for it. I've put my whole life on hold for a family. I didn't go to college because I've always wanted to stay home with my kids. I moved in with my husband not long after highschool and we've been trying ever since. After almost 5 years of trying with no DR we got worried and for the past 5 yrs we've been going from DR to DR. I finally found a great one but there isnt much he can do...we've already tried everything...except IVF but we can't afford that either. Its either get the house or get the baby and we really need the house for the baby. Ok....I'll give you guys a break. Sorry to be so long. Thanks for reading. and sorry if I made anyone feel bad.

Lendi · 09-06-2002, 12:42 AM

Aww, Julie. I'm sorry you feel like this. You are welcome here anytime. There are lots of us who "don't fit" Actually, I am the mom of a PCOS teen and started coming to SC to learn how to help her. Then, I figured out that I've had PCOS symptoms all a long, just not as pronounced. But, I come to the depression board a lot because I do suffer from depression and anxiety attacks. So, if I can fit in, you can too. And, it is alright to give a little rant if you need to. That's what we're all here for and all of us have been in a bad situation. I'm sorry you're not having any luck with TTC. I wish I could help or at least make you feel better, but we all know that is impossible. So, I'll just send {{{{hugs}}}} and tell you to come and talk anytime. You do belong. Hugs, Lendi

JulieD · 09-06-2002, 12:53 AM

Thanks Lendi, it means alot to me that I can let it all out sometimes. I've done it to my family for so long they've started tuning me out because its all old news. There is nothing they can do so they just kind of change the subject. I joke with them sometimes when they say they wish they could do something. I always tell them they can...they can pool all their money and buy (adopt) me a baby.

Seems they don't want to help after all because I still dont have one. lol Thanks again for trying to cheer me up. It'll pass...it always does.

Lendi · 09-06-2002, 01:10 AM

You hang in there, Julie. I'm praying (if it's alright) that you will have an extra special gift one of these days, and if that can't be that you can at least feel some peace about the situation. Hang here any time. I come to this board a lot. I can truly say it has kept me going many times. I'm not sure I would even be able to think about anyone else if it weren't for some of the people here. We do understand and we will not get tired of listening. And, yes I know the feelings will pass, or at least be hidden, but sometimes they come back out. Don't ever feel bad about honest feelings. Hugs to you, Lendi

jlucy · 09-08-2002, 06:31 PM

Hey there, don't worry about not fitting in. I am 30 years old, not married, no boyfriend, don't want kids. I also am a thin cyster. Don't worry about fitting in.

CTCyster · 09-09-2002, 04:25 PM

Julie,

I think we all fit in by virtue of the fact that we're all cysters- dealing with PCOS - whether our symptoms are slight or severe, we're all in this together.

Please know that you DO fit in here- and the contributions you make by posting on the BBs benefit many more people than you will probably ever even realise.

I am sorry you're feeling out of place right now- but remember you'll always have a place here at SC- to vent, for support- to share your joys and sorrows- just being here for each other is what this is all about.

Hope brighter days are ahead for you!

Aimee

JulieD · 09-10-2002, 12:37 AM

Thanks you guys..it really does help.

Lendi: You can pray for me all you like...I need all I can get. I told my mom I have so many people praying for me sooner or later God is going to give in and finally let things go my way.

To everyone else thanks so much for your kind words. I'm feeling alot better now and knowing I have so many people who understand means the world to me.