I feel defective...

bethnix · 11-20-2007, 01:13 AM

Hello, I was diagnosted about 6years ago with PCOS. Ever since then, it has been a struggle for me. Now I am married, and we are trying to have a baby. But it is really hard to, when you are never in the mood, you never have periods, you don't know when your ovulating, and your cranky. I had a laparoscopy done about 3months ago, but I don't feel like anything has changed. I have had one period since then, and I just feel angry. What is God's purpose in creating this divestating illness? And my husband doesn't understand. He just lectures me about not getting so depressed, and to enjoy my life. He says that we are young and shouldn't be depressed all the time. HELLO...Stupid boy. That hurt me. I haven't told him, and I probably never will, but I just don't know what to do anymore. I am in a mood that I cant get out of. I feel like I am a defective woman, and that I should just leave my husband to go and find a wife that can produce children for him. *sigh*

Anonykat · 11-20-2007, 01:32 AM

God didn't create this illness. It's a consequence of fallen nature.

I understand your depression, but the good news is, with help, MOST of us go on to conceive. I honestly thought I would die childless, but we got pregnant with twins. I'm extremely fat and my PCOS is out of control, but I have two beautiful babies - if it can happen for me, it can happen for anyone. Don't give up.

hopeful408 · 12-05-2007, 06:37 PM

((HUGS))
We all have felt your same exact feelings, but like Anonycat said, sickness and disease are not God's doing or plan, without getting in religion, there are "generational curses" that fall upon us do to our ancester's sins or satan himself coming to kill, steal and destroy us because we are the most loved by God.
once upon a time, i also questioned and blamed God for my body but when i went to His Word and believed that He bore our sickness for us, i firmly believe that He has plans in my life and that although this disease has done harm, it is not the end. one day you will have your baby, and your experience will help other women when you share your journey.
please dont think that your Dh needs another woman, he married you for WHO you are not for how many babies you can birth. i had to learn that my relationship with my Dh is individual just like it will be with everyone of my kids when the Lord gives them to us.
it's natural to feel sad and we all go through it in this walk but we cannot lose hope, and when it looks like we are about to quit, there is always someone here who will pick us up..........