I feel like a mess sometimes

Asli Tee · 10-17-2009, 12:28 AM

I have known since 1999 that I have PCOS. I actually researched and self diagnosed myself before my doctors did. Some military doctors are not the best...lol. My life has been a rollercoster even before I knew I had PCOS. I started growing facial hair when I was 12 yrs old, and I started my cycle when I was 10 yrs old, just for one day, and then I didnt have another cycle until a year and a half later.
I dont know when I stopped being a carefree, outgoing and confident young woman. To a woman who is filled with doubt and sadness. One of the hardest thing, is to not have friends or a shoulder to cry on. I have to stand strong all by myself. Its bad enough that Im by myself, but to have to go grocery shopping and hear someone say "She have a beard" or "Is that a man"... really hurts.
My husband left me because I believe his friends started talking in his ear about being with a woman with facial hair... I remember our last conversation...he apologized for hurting me.
Needless to say, dating has not been easy. I remember going on one date and the guy blountly asking me "Why do I have hair on my face...is there something you wanna tell me?"
Ive had 6 miscarriages, and sometimes I ask myself "Why".... This is my sad day!
I have had over 10 treatments of laser surgery and 3 treatments of electrolsis...I still have facial hair. Ive noticed that everytime I comb my hair, I have strands all over the floor...Ive become a sweeping queen...lol.
I've hate that Ive moved to a new state, because these country doctors, are not the best when it comes to PCOS... I have been taken off my Metformin and put of birth control....I dont take them.
Dispite all of the negative, I try to always smile and remain positive. I know I am not the only woman who suffers and have heartaches. I pray by joining this site, it will help me to heal and regain my strenght that I once had.

Thanks for reading and caring!

Tonya

amorvincit105 · 10-17-2009, 02:57 AM

i hope things look up for you. sorry i cant be much help

Wannabamami · 10-18-2009, 01:05 AM

sorry i cant be much help to you either,I also have pcos but i dont have facial hairs or acne,I jus startin to gain weight and have no cycle.my doctor aint much help either

shellabelle424 · 10-23-2009, 05:33 PM

Tonya,

I completely understand!! i have had facial hair forever, i shave 2-3 times a day. And not jsut my face but my back and chest too. i dont wear anything revealing!! I dont go anywhere without my portable razor in my purse, and extra batteries if they are bad and i am out! It is a horrible feeling to think someone is staring at you or looking at you and I know too well about that. My husband, then boyfriend had been with me before it started and i did such a good job of shaving that he did not notice or at least i did not think he did for at least a year. i remember the first day i noticed and cried so hard. Now i am so super embarassed even though I shave i know he can tell i have that 5 o'clock shadow thing. I try to not embarass him and i try to keep it up but it is hard. Sometimes I see him staring at my face and i get up and turn away. I need laser hair but can't afford it, so this is my only option right now. I also had to diagnose myself, doctors jsut dont seem to care anymore, but after i put them in the right direction is when i started getting tests done. Now i am done with doctors and i am doing everything naturally. you should try saw palmento it helps with the hair and if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, i am here.

butterfly3861 · 10-23-2009, 06:24 PM

I'm sorry to hear that you have had such a difficult time and a lack of support. I think that you will find people here that truely understand what you are going through. I have facial hair as well and I shave it daily or wax it sometimes. If you have a light hair color electrolosis tends not to work as well, as so I was told so I never did it. If you are not currently trying to concieve you should take your birth control pills because they reduce androgen levels and reduce the growth of facial hair. I too had a hard time finding a Dr. that would give me metformin. I finally found one and have lost 60 lbs or so with it. I would also recommend if you don't want to take BCP that you take supplements that help with insulin levels because that can also reduce androgen levels. Cinnamon helps with insulin resistance, until you can find a doc that will help. Try to keep you head up...you will find friends on here for sure!

ncgirl10 · 10-23-2009, 06:32 PM

You sound like a beautiful person. Hang in there!

psych101 · 11-01-2009, 01:22 AM

Tonya,

My heart goes out to you. I struggle with the same things. A couple of years ago I saved up enough to get laser hair removal. I was so excited...I thought it was going to answer all my prayers. I have dark hair and so was told I was a perfect candidate. I took a year's worth of treatments...going at least once a month. Today I still have to shave every morning...and if I plan on going somewhere late in the evening have to shave again. I'm in my mid 30s and am getting hair on my back now. (that really makes a girl feel attractive) I have days when looking in the mirror makes me feel gross. Fortunately I have a very loving and understanding husband. He makes me feel feminine and beautiful. :-)
My younger sister also has pcos...and struggles with excess hair...heart burn...etc too.
We support each other...cry on each other's shoulders...and laugh in spite of it all.
From what I have read so far it seems there is a great support system here. If pcos does anything it makes you appreciate the little pleasure of being able to confide in someone.
Send me a message any time Tonya... I am here with a cyber hug when you need one!

Becky
:-)