I have really been struggling with depression lately. I'm not sure is its all due to the PCOS. or other factors, but it is really starting to have a strain on my relationship.
I have beens seeing a really nice guy for a little over a year, and I really care for him a lot. But I have been so moody and easily aggitated lately, EVERYTHING he does irritates me. The littelest, insignifficant things, and I go and make a big deal out of everything. I'll yell and scream at him, and then of course, I feel terrible aftrewords. But I just can't control my emotions. I am either angry or sad, and at best, it seems like I'm just blah. I don't enjoy anything anymore. (nothing "physical" either) Nothing makes me happy, and I take it all out on him. He's done his best to be understanding of my situation, but it's not easy to be with someone who is so misserable all the time. I'm trying to change, but it's just not working. I always feel the same...not very good.
I've tried exercise, relaxation, getting enough rest, reading, writing, positive self talk, and I still feel the same. My depression and negativity is ruining my relationship (again) and I don't know how to change.
On top of that, I've gained like 20 pounds, and he's lost 24! We started dieting and exercising together, and he saw results and I, well I got opposite results! So I'm jelouse, and I feel guilty about that 'cause I know I should just be happy for him, but I resent him for it. No wonder he doesn't want to be around me!
What can I do that will help me feel better, and get my relationship back on the right track? I really want this to work, and I getting very desperate. HELP!
It does sound like a case of depression. Have you talked with a professional about it? It sounds like you've done a lot of positive things (exercising, etc), but if you're not seeing a difference then you probably need extra help. Talking to a counselor or psychologist can help you get to the root of some of your feelings and also help provide you with more tools to help regulate your emotions. Also, medication is sometimes a scary thing to consider, but many, many "normal" people suffer from depression and have been able use anti-depressants to kick start their path back to health. You can usually even get an Rx from your regular doctor, but if you are seeing a psychologist he/she will probably recommend that you see a specialist/psychiatrist to prescribe the optimum dosage for your needs.
Most importantly, you have realized that you have a problem right now and that you need to take steps to get healthy again. I think if you take it one step further and consult with a professional, you will be that much closer to feeling like your normal self again.
In the meantime, talk to your BF and explain that you realize you haven't been yourself, that you know that your mood swings are affecting your relationship, and that you are going to get help for your condition. Tell him how much you appreciate his patience and support through this time, and let him know that you are working to improve things. Share with him that you really take comfort from your relationship, regardless of how you respond to things sometimes, and ask him to keep being patient with you as you work through this. If he's as great of a guy as you describe, he should be willing and able to support you through this, especially when you are being proactive about your treatment. After all, this won't be the last difficult thing that you will face in the course of your relationship, and it can really be an opportunity to strengthen it.
On a side note, what type of diet are you using? If you're not providing your body with the right nutrition, that can cause depression and throw off your entire sense of well-being. Since you're not losing weight (how frustrating!), perhaps re-evaluate your nutrition plan and make sure you're getting enough fruits and veggies, as well as good sources of protein and complex carbs. Avoid strictly low-fat diets, as most women with PCOS won't lose weight effectively with them.
__________________ Nicole (32)+ DH (33) Married June 4, 2000 my blog! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
dx PCOS Fall 2000 TTC since Sept 2006 1st BFP Dec 2006 lost @8 weeks To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Thanks for the kind words! I am looking into some counseling, and possibly meds. Have an appointment early September, so hopefully I'll get some answers. And thanks for the diet advice! I HAVE been focusing on low-fat foods. It sounds like, (as I've been expoloring the site), as you say, more whole, real foods and LOW CALORIE not neccissarily low fat. Oh, and what is low GI?
Sure - anytime! I'm glad to hear that you're getting some professional advice, too. Depression can really rear its ugly head and start taking over your life, and sometimes you just need that extra support! Hopefully you get some good answers at your appt.
As far as diet goes, a lot of people believe that depression can be aggravated or even triggered by poor nutrition. At the very least, most professionals agree that your body requires a pretty complex blend of vitamins, minerals, protein, carbs, healthy fats, etc to keep itself on an even keel. And the best place to get those is from nutrient-dense whole foods. So even if you're restricting your calories to lose weight (good job!) you have to make sure you're eating plenty of fruits, veggies, healthy proteins, healthy fats, and whole grains.
The trouble with a low-fat diet is that often it just misses the point. To lose weight, the most important thing is to restrict your total calories. Usually, if you do that just by limiting fat, you make up the difference in carbohydrates. And, eating simple carbohydrates like white bread, pasta, sugary drinks can wreck havoc on your body, ESPECIALLY if you have PCOS. PCOS is closely tied to our endocrine functions and our body's ability to process sugar and insulin (which are directly affected by carbs). Eating extra carbs, especially simple carbs, can worsen your symptoms. In addition, your body needs fat, in moderation, to function. There are some fats, like those found in olive oil, salmon, avocados, etc that are especially healthy for your body and should be ADDED to your diet in moderation.
I actually gained about 40 lbs on a low-fat diet because I didn't understand how it worked in my body. I would restrict myself to "low-fat" coffee drinks and muffins for lunch and think I was doing good by eating plastic-tasting food that was also chock full of pure sugar. I gained weight like crazy and saw a huge increase in my PCOS symptoms. Later, after an unrelated health scare, I got really serious about eating healthfully - not for weight loss but to fuel my body with the nutrition it needed. This time, though, I concentrated more on adding good things than restricting bad things. For example, I made sure that I ate 6-10 servings of organic fruit and vegetables a day, as well as a serving of plain yogurt and two cups of green tea. I also had a list of "healthiest foods" like blueberries, tomatoes, olive oil, salmon, almonds etc and every meal I ate I tried to include several from my list. Lo and behold - I lost about 40 lbs over about six months without really trying, and suddenly my PCOS symptoms disappeared and AF came on schedule for the first time in years.
Anyway - sorry to ramble but I really think that it's important, no matter what diet you choose, that you consider nutrition and make sure that your body is getting all of the things it needs. And, instead of just focusing on things that you are limiting from your diet (like french fries!), also think about adding in some healthy foods that will keep your body on track. There is a great weight-loss thread on here that has lots of other advice, too.
Good luck!
__________________ Nicole (32)+ DH (33) Married June 4, 2000 my blog! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
dx PCOS Fall 2000 TTC since Sept 2006 1st BFP Dec 2006 lost @8 weeks To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Counseling was the biggest help for me. It's just nice to have someone totally unbiased listen to you and then offer advice. Also, I find that writing it all out in a journal helps, too.
I try to think before I get angry at something and see if it's really something I SHOULD get angry about/at. Most of the time, it's not and that keeps me calm.
__________________
Laura (27) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. James (32)
Zoe Cassandra is here! Born 9/21/09 at 6:12pm MST. She weighed in at 7lbs, 5.5oz's, 19.5 inches! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
You are right low fat diets 9/10 don't work for PCOS women. Low fat diets actually have more sugar in them. When they take out the fat they have to replace it with something and it some form of sugar. I just learned this recently.So really if we think about low fat diets aren't healthy for anyone. People think they are eating healthy with light stuff and low fat but really it is worse for them than just eathing normal b/c they are eating more sugar.
I feel so bad 
