I don't know how to get over this. I don't know how to not feel like i'm being punished. I don't understand how women who don't care about their children. Who beat and abuse them can have children so easily. I would be a good mother. I don't want to be bitter. I feel like it is swallowing me whole.
__________________ Me 36
3 miscarriages 2004
DS Noah born at 36w2d 5lbs 13 oz 19.5"
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4/2/09 +HPT
Met 3x750, Klexane 80ml 2xd,asp 81mg,cal.286g,iron 100
heartbeat seen 4/14,16,24,28&5/5,18,28,2,9/6 hb=176 28.5 hb=161.86, 6.2&9 hb=154.8
b6/29 baby 185g,7/28 343g IT'S A BOY!!!! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 7/6-hb=150
I know what you mean. Along with these woman who seem to squeeze out baby after baby to different daddys by "accident"... oh it drives me mad.
I can't help but feel like i'm being punished for something you know?
__________________
Current treatment:
N/A
- Married May 30th 2009 -
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Cian David St. John - Born 13:33, 27th November 2006 at 36 weeks
Weighing 5lb 4oz
Someone didn't want a Christmas birthday
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It seems like now i'm surrounded by pregnant women who drink and smoke. I wouldn't even touch caffine because I was worried about the baby. There is no justice. 4 miscarriages...never a live birth.
__________________ Me 36
3 miscarriages 2004
DS Noah born at 36w2d 5lbs 13 oz 19.5"
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4/2/09 +HPT
Met 3x750, Klexane 80ml 2xd,asp 81mg,cal.286g,iron 100
heartbeat seen 4/14,16,24,28&5/5,18,28,2,9/6 hb=176 28.5 hb=161.86, 6.2&9 hb=154.8
b6/29 baby 185g,7/28 343g IT'S A BOY!!!! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 7/6-hb=150
i know how you feel. today i left teh house for the first time and went food shopping. i wanted to punch every person there with a baby- okay i know that's rude- but that is how i felt. i am also so angry
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To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Me- 30 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Husband- 34 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Our Pup
hoping ivf will bring us a healthy baby To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I lost My first about a year ago and I'm heading into IVF, and I still feel that way I still don't want to sit and talk to anyone that is pregnant. I find myself saying if I lost mine why didn't they loose theirs it not fair.
I'm so sorry today is so rough. Grief is a rollercoaster, and anger is a big part of it. I have had to scream and hit some things to get it out of my system. There is no justice, IMO, in this world. Some of us have hearts shattered into a million pieces while ditzy idiots don't know what treasure they have. The only way to get around this stuff is to know that we each have our own story, our own pain and joy, etc., and try to ignore theirs.
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs
I completely understand..At my work they hired a girl that was pregnant. Every time I turned around they were asking me to stay late so she could go home and rest. I told them one day when I'd had enough of it that I thought that was unfair. Their response was.."we'll do the same for you the day you become pregnant" It went straight through me. I couldn't hold it back and I flung right back "Well what if I can't EVER have a baby! What then?!!" Needless to say they got all quiet. And this was before I was diagnosed with PCOS but I had a feeling I had it. Now that girl has had her baby. She is gorgeous. But she and another co worker are still getting special treatment b/c they have kids. And both of them would rather go out bar hopping on weekends than spend that precious time with their babies and they are always saying how lucky I am that I don't have any..It makes me see red. But what can I do other than secretly hate them b/c they could have them so easily and here I am wanting a child so badly and it's going to be a fight for me and they are taking their children for granted. Not a day goes by that I don't imagine myself smacking the crap out of them and tell them how great they have it. That's why I am glad I have this board to come to b/c you gals know exactly how it is and share my frustrations. And I too hate going out b/c I see babies everywhere. It makes me feel so empty and angry at the world.
I know how it feels ladies and the sad thing about it is that even after you sucessfuly have a child that feeling never goes away. That envy and hatred is always there every where you go. I think i will always have that feeling even if i have ten babies because I will know what i had to to go through to get them. I cant just wake up in the morning and tell my husband i want a baby i have to go through a whole process.
My dd was stillborn jan 2006.Id had 4 healthy pregnancies before but i still felt that hatred.I along with you all STILL feel it at times.Wondering why life is so unfair & when & what did i do to deserve losing my child.What made me the 1 who had to be punished.Then someone i know became pregnant not long after & she continued to smoke cigarettes among other things,drank alcohol..it pissed me off beyond words.How could someone LIKE HER be allowed to get pregnant & have a healthy baby girl but i couldnt.I never did drugs,never smoked or drank alcohol.I even cut way down on my caffeine intake yet I was the 1 punished.I had to lose my child while she acted like a completely stupid B ITCH & got to keep hers.How is that fair?Ya know.I just want to beat some sense into women I see who are pregnant & are doing things they shouldnt or those who have a child/children & they dont even want to give them the time of day.I guess if they havent had to go thru a loss like that,they dont realize how lucky & blessed they truly are.Big hugs to all of you who have had a loss/losses.
I understand the roller coaster of grief, I have felt myself feel anger toward pregnant women or people who have kids with no problem. I know that this may be somewhat irrational but it doesn't keep me from feeling that way at times. One minute I can be happy for someone and their pregnancy or new baby and the next I feel resentful of them.
I feel so much hatred and bitterness 
