I had 1st u/s on April 5th, and 2nd u/s on April 13th. Even though they told me that this pregnancy would not survive, had no h/b and was not growing sufficiently, I was so hoping against hope that someone had made an awful mistake. My ob phoned me today and my betas from the 13th and 15th had already dropped a lot. I guess it is actually time to accept this fate. This is the most terrible thing I've experienced! I was devastated when they told me at my u/s on the 13th. Then I started to 'think' myself out of believing it. Now that has been reinforced and I am so devastated all over again! And I still have to actually go through the actual m/c and/or d&c and I'll have to grieve again. I am determined to be a mother and to make my wonderful husband a father, so I know I will recover from this and we will go on, but IT'S SO HARD. I guess I just needed to vent.
~Leah~
__________________ me (Leah)-28 dh (Marty)-32 ds (Javan Valentine)-born May 23rd 2006 dd (Farrah Audrey) -born July 31st 2008
__________________ Kati (29)
DH Vince (27)
Married 1-29-05 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Never TTC -- Straight to Adoption
DD Yuna
Born in the USA 10-01-06 -- Finalized 4-12-07
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Still hoping and praying to adopt #2 someday... To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Carey(31) To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Paul(43)
Married 7-25-02
PCOS Diagnosed Nov 02'
Bi Polar Diagnosed Feb 08'
Current meds~ Lithium&Celexa
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 4 furbabies To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Starting over is always the hard part. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
__________________ DX: Sept/03 Me 31 & DH 35 To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
PCOS:Metformin 1500mgs daily(Oct/03). Rapid Cycling Bi-Polar Type II: Effexor 225 mgs, .5mgs clonazapam, and 900mgs Lithium daily. litebook therapy(Dec/04). Meniere's Disease: To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 16mgs Serc and 10-20mgs Metoclop
I'm so very sorry that you are suffering through this. It's a horrible feeling.
hugs,
Adrianne
__________________ Adrianne 31, DH 44 - married 6/01 - 2 DSDs (13 & 15)
Gabriel born 19w5d 11/15/04 due to IC. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Leah, I'm so sorry that you're here. We're here for you if you need us!
__________________ Dominici was born May 2006!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Miracle Baby Boy Rivelino, born too early to live on October 6, 2004 at 24 weeks and 6 days. Never to be forgotten, always to be remembered, forever my source of inspiration.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. (My blog)
It's okay to hold onto hope until you get some real answers, so don't beat yourself up about that. I'm really sorry about this awful news and hope that you find some peace soon. It is excruciating, for sure, but moving forward is totally possible. We are never the same after we have that brief taste of motherhood and know just how much we love our babies. I hope that you get another chance as soon as you are ready and get the support from your doctor that you need to keep it going.
Lots of Hugs!
Sheri
__________________ Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs
First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks
Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs
Leah, we are all so sorry for your loss. The "Coping with PG Loss" thread is not a "club" that any of us ever want to join, but I must say that the support and strength of the ladies on this thread is what has gotten me through my tough times.
And, my friend, you ARE a mother. We all still moms after our losses, just in a different sense than others that haven't been through this can comprehand.
Please vent to us any time you need to do so. We are all here.
__________________ Lean cyster ~ M/c @ 10 wks after seeing heartbeat 8/04, m/c @ about 10 weeks after seeing heartbeat 8-09. 2 chemical PGs lost @ 4.5 wks 1/05 & 3/05. 4/05: Dx w/antiphospholipid antibody syndrome.
BFP on Thanksgiving 2009! Due date August 9, 2010. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
lea- just wanted to say im right here with you.
I am praying you find peace soon!
I just had my pittocin induced m/c and D&C on wednesday and until then it wasnt real for me either.
TOO UNFAIR!!
I will be going to IVF #4 later this month and pray just as much for you that we will soon again be on a mommy due date board together. KEEP IN TOUCH!
thinking of you!
((HUGS))
april
* disapointed but not defeated * thats for sure!!
__________________
April
Momma to Madaya Rae & Wife to Michael
Born 10/4/06 @ 33w Married 4/15/00
Blessed naturally after 7 years of IF, 5 failed IVF's, 23 IUI's and countless other cycles
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Thanks ladies. I do appreciate the support. And Meghan, you are right about being a mother. I am really torn right now, as I know that this pregnancy is ending and a big part of me wishes I'd start to bleed and that it would be over as I feel like my life is on hold. And another part of me loves this baby, even if it has passed away, and wants to hold on. I still feel pregnant and I will miss that feeling when it is gone, but I so want to move along and try again. We had not shared the news that we were expecting with really anyone. I had told my boss and one very close friend, and that is all. I am thankful for that as I wouldn't want everyone I encounter to mention it, I just prefer to share my grief intimately and not openly. But my boss said to me "at least you know now that you can get pregnant" and I guess that truly should be a comfort to me, but I still want to scream "YES I am thankful for that! But I wanted to STAY pregnant!" At least the well-wishers are limited as so few know what went on...
April, is this the first d&c you've had? I was just wondering because I wanted to know if pitocin is usually used to induce m/c first. If I can avoid a d&c I'd like to, but it seems that not much is happening on my own. I have been passing quite a bit of thick, clear, stretchy mucous that I am guessing is part of my mucous plug?? But absolutely nothing else. If I hadn't been monitered so closely I honestly would've thought I was still pregnant with a healthy baby and all was well.
Anyways, thanks again everyone.
~Leah~
__________________ me (Leah)-28 dh (Marty)-32 ds (Javan Valentine)-born May 23rd 2006 dd (Farrah Audrey) -born July 31st 2008
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Dropping out of TTC... To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. good vibes to you girls!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
I guess I'll have to learn to accept this... 
