Juana Baby

I have not posted here for a long time, even though I do read occasionally. It is just to painful to know what my cysters are going through. I pray for you as often as I can but I hurt for you too.

I miss my son. I miss my daughters. I normally do not voice this but lately there has been such a great void in my life. Jack is now 7. He is with his biological mother. Every where I see the name Jack. I loved him so much. I cried the first time he called me Mama and wanted up. Or when I watched him wrap my husband around his finger with just a smile.

I dreamed about my daughter the other night. In my dream she was 3 years old and her name was Cearra. She had curly brown hair and we were walking through a store and ran into an old friend of mine. When I woke up and I realized that I actually could have a daughter that age I about crumbled to my knees.

I miss the set of multiples who were with me for only a little while. I miss my child who would be 12 now. Would I be able to deal with the prepubescant?

But mostly I miss Jack. I pray for him every day that he is safe and happy with his mother. Would he know who I am now? Would I recognize him?

I am so sorry for posting this. But I knew you would understand.



laural

SheriKCMO

Laural, I'm sorry you are going through a rough time. I think this time of year is particularly tough to get through. I hope you find some peace and comfort. (((Hugs)))

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Metformin 1500mg, Yasmin, managing IR/pcos with lower carbs

First pregnancy ended at 23 weeks due to incompetent cervix.

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Mary Catherine will be in our hearts forever, November 28, 2003.
Second loss March 9, 2004 at five weeks

Third pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w

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Duncan 2/11/05, 9lb 3oz
Fourth pregnancy, Cerclage at 13w

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Ruby 2/27/06, 9lbs