I have questions please answer

harvey264 · 03-01-2008, 02:44 PM

My husband and I have gone thur almost all the treatment, and now we are thinking of fostering then adoption... Primarly because the agency we are thinking of working with said it's free that way. I have heard of the home study programs, what is it? What are they looking for? I have 6 cats and a dog, is that a problem? Am I still able to do the process with my pet's in the home? We are just wanting a family and before I go thur the process of IVF, I want to know i have other options incase this doesn't work out.

Jen

Miss-Meme · 03-01-2008, 07:56 PM

The homestudy is not all that bad. You do a lot of paper work which I think is the worst part. They ask all kinds of questions about how your were raised and your family. About how you will raise your children and about you and your husband.

You will need a physical (we had to have a skin TB test and a Chest Xray for tb also.)

You'll need fingerprints done and all kinds of background checks. And my recommendation is to find out if there is any place in your area that does a live scan for finger prints...comes back much faster.

You'll have meetings with the social worker, both you and your Dh together and both of you alone. Most likely one or more of them will be in your home. Ours had to visit our home at least two times.

During the home visit somethings that she looked for were that your home was child safe. Chemicals our of reach and locked if under the sink. If you have a fireplace that it is safe. Fire alarms and extinguishers. Plug in covers. Gates in front of open stairs. Outdoors also need to be safe, pools, garages (chemicals in garages). Guns need to have gun locks.

You will need references. Ours wanted 3 friends that knew the both of us. She also either talked in person or on the phone with them. She also wanted to meet with our parents.
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aimes16 · 03-04-2008, 09:16 AM

That's pretty much what I've been told about home studies. They're looking at safety. I haven't heard about a sw wanting to meet our parents, and since ours are spread out in three other states, I don't think it will happen.

Miss-Meme · 03-04-2008, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aimes16

That's pretty much what I've been told about home studies. They're looking at safety. I haven't heard about a sw wanting to meet our parents, and since ours are spread out in three other states, I don't think it will happen.

Well after having three homestudies done over the years the last one was the only one that wanted to meet our parents. So I thought I would put it on there just in case other do too. This SW was very TOO The book! Everything was done the way it was said to be done.

I think if they would have leave in other states she would have wanted to talk to them on the phone.

CBeverly · 03-05-2008, 08:01 AM

What would happen if you didn't have a good relationship with your parents?

aimes16 · 03-07-2008, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CBeverly

What would happen if you didn't have a good relationship with your parents?

Now that's a really good question. I've just heard to talk positive about your past and not to talk too badly about how you are raised or about your parents, because it will lead to more questions.

I told my father-in-law about all the background questions we have to answer and how it really annoys me even though I do the same kind of work, and he basically told me to get over it because they are only looking out for the children

.

tartanheartUK · 03-10-2008, 10:32 PM

Ran in to trouble over here on this issue.
SS felt they had to to confirm that the couple had come to terms with the fact that they were infertile and understood that we could only have a child at the discretion of the sw concerned.
Wanted me to have traceable (injections) contraception for a year whilst adoption procedure progressed ie firm matching with child and basically wanted to let you know that your chance of happiness was totally in their hands. Lost and in despair for a good six months as there was no - way after ttc for six years was i going to inject myself to stop ovulation - if i was to conceive and adopt i would consider it a bountiful gift and a blessing and not have changed my mind about the adoption.

Miss-Meme · 03-10-2008, 10:37 PM

So they want you to have shots so you will no get pg! I'm sorry but thats crazy. I would look into another agency!

I've never heard of an agency making someone do this. I've heard of them asking their people not to TTC at the same time, but never telling them to do this!

StarofEvening · 03-10-2008, 10:37 PM

Wow, Tartanheart... thats pretty intense! Is that even legal??

tartanheartUK · 03-15-2008, 10:45 PM

The thing is if the social worker you deal with has told you that they will not refer you or match you further without this what do you do? Especially when they can use the "well you are over weight" argument against you as well. The agencies in the uk have an awful lot of powers, too much work and enjoy playing games.

tcrock02 · 03-21-2008, 03:16 PM

tartan that is insane. I have fostered and adopted 5 children for the state. I had tried to get pg for 5 years.I had 4 foster children when i concieved my son who is now 12. I continued to foster and adopted a sibling group of 3 and 2 seperate children from other placements. i think i would look into that more. i dont think they can do that. i am overweight also. that is discrimination in every sense of the word. do some online research. talk to supervisors. be agressive. if this is how you want to expand your family then go forward full force and dont let some stupid worker cheat you out of your dream.

tartanheartUK · 03-27-2008, 08:43 PM

just been refered back to fertility clinic for more investigation and can not go for adoption whilst being a patient with them (again so i've been told - but will further investigate) so will progress with this for the time being - concentrate on one thing at a time - will let you guys know what happens there. Thanks for the support!!!!!!

Miss-Meme · 03-27-2008, 09:15 PM

Remember tartanheartUK is from the UK.