I Just Don't Have the Drive ....

11-14-2003, 07:08 PM

I don't know what it is ... I started out taking 500mg of Met and then worked my way up to 1000mg a day ... but I have always had a heard time of keeping tract and following any type of schedule.

Now I have completely stopped and I haven't taken anything since the begining of Oct. I feel terrible about it, because I want to get better. I want to have my period I want to have children in my future, even one healthy little baby. (tho I want 3)

I am constantly depressed not just because of the things I have stated above, but many other things that are happening in my life.

My body hasn't really liked the yo-yo style of taken the Met. I am prone to UTI and Bladder infections and since my indecisions and all, they have been worse.

My family is falling apart I feel, and my DF and my little brother are at odds and my brother is in denail about an incident that happened and doesn't want to admit the truth. (Long story, won't get into it) And it tears me up inside becuase I constantly feel like I have to chose between them. I love them both.

My dad has gone thru a bout with Colon Cancer and is right now in remission after a successful round of chemo and radiation plus surgery. I think about him everyday and the pain he must be in.

Financially we are in really bad shape, oweing alot of money to several different people, since I haven't been working for the past 4 months and now that I will be working 7 days a week with 2 different jobs, I'm tired all the time not getting enough sleep.

One good thing I guess is now that I am working certain hours I can restart my Metformin and be on a schedule and temp again. tho I have to take provera to restart my period first. as you can tell it's been so long that my chart can't update anymore.

AARRRGGGGGHHHHHHH

I am just sooooo very frustrated! Jay and I are planning our future together, planning a simple and cheap wedding, paying bills off and hopefully in a year and a half buy our first house.

I wish PCOS would just go away already.

I just don't have the drive for it anymore! I have been trying to eat healthier and excercise more, that is doing ok, but I know I could do better.

I just want to cry.

Sorry, that I have been so negative, I know that I have many good things in my life, I just feel like I am not good enough to be entirely healthy and have the family I yearn for.

I know I wouldn't be put in this situation if the Goddess didn't feel I couldn't handle it, but I still feel helpless and tired all teh same.

If you are still reading things, sorry for rranting and raving for soooo long. I just didn't know where else to turn too.

Thanks.

~Corrie~

Jenny Gabrenas · 11-19-2003, 10:34 AM

i just wanted to let you know that i am right here with you, not going through the same things, of course, but feeling the same things of frustration and of not being in control of my own life. i suppose it will get better soon, but getting out of the mud is a difficult thing, isnt it. wishing you peace, jen

daculadawg1 · 11-19-2003, 12:13 PM

i'm here for you too, if you need to talk e- mail at daculadawg1@yahoo.com
linda mull

i have to go to the library to check my e-mail, it might take a day or so for me to get back to ya, but i will.

jamim · 11-19-2003, 06:47 PM

I think your first sentence is exactly me. I started taking met last Oct........ stopped in nov. or dec. because I couldn't remember to take it.
You have to make a promise to yourself. To take it twice a day or how ever you take it - I even carrie a small amount in my purse so even if I'm out - I can take it.
The reality is that you aren't just taking it for PCOS - you are taking it to keep diabetes and heart disease, etc. away. And you are worth taking care of.! : )

11-19-2003, 08:45 PM

Thank you ladies. Your support means more than you know right now.

Things are getting worse and I just can't see where it's going to stop. Financially it's tuff and if I start the met now I won't be able to afford it again until my medical is paid off. and my family situation is getting worse.

I appreciate everything, really i do, I just can't do this anymore, I just don't know what to do. I know I am worth it for living, but it hurts so very much.

~Corrie ~