i battle with deppresion and anger and anxitey..... sometimes i feel trapped in my life.... i dont think it is just PCOS that is holding me back.... sure i think PCOS plays a big part in it...
in the last 5 years i have gained 100 pounds, my acne is out of control.... my hair has become really brittle, i feel really ugly.... i also had a lot of major life changes that threw me way off the path of where i was planning on going..... when i graduated highschool i had planed to go to school and do something with myself... but when i got with my husband things changed... we took custody of his neice and nefew, we moved to a new state, we had our own child... i quit school because i couldnt take care of kids work and go to school... now i have a baby, no job because i get such bad anxitey about working that i end up quiting withing a month or two... i live in a place where i know no one and have no friends... i live in a house with 4 guys and a 2 year old (my husband my 26 year old brother, my husbands best frined and his boyfirend) they drive me crazy because non of them clean up after themselves so its like taking care of 5 kids instead of one... i feel so traped and i get so sad and angry and i dont know what to do... my husband says i should get out and make friends, but i dont know where to go to do that and how to go about makeing frinends... its not like highschool anymore...
then with PCOS, i cant find a doctor that will help me, my sysmptoms are getting worse... and i really want to improve my life....
im sorry to ramble on and on... i just really feel bad and i needed to get things off my chest and see if anyone knows how i feel....
__________________ Vanessa 22
husband mike 26
daugter jen 2
PCOS dx 16
*hugs*
I'm glad you came here... it's a good place to start on becoming a better, happier, healthier person.
If you haven't already, check out the hair and acne forums, and also check out the diet/exercise forums-- even if you're not overweight there's a lot of good health information on healthy diet choices for living with PCOS.
You should NOT have to pick up after 4 guys. That's ridiculous. I'd recommend either just stopping or having a talk with all of them and laying down some ground rules that the 5 of you can agree on (for example, they can leave certain parts of the house a mess but they're not allowed to make messes in the kitchen or living room or your room... that sort of thing, then if they do just dump the entire mess into one of their approved areas).
Now that your daugther is 2, are you interested in going back to school/to work, or do you want to continue as a SAHM? It might be worth seeing what you can work out in terms of daycare to make that happen if you want to start that part of your life again. (Otherwise, you can start making plans for if and when you DO want to rejoin the labor force/education system...think about what *you* want to do as a career and start taking steps to get there from here.)
A good way to find friends (that also looks really good on a resume, especially if you haven't been currently working) is to volunteer. Are there any things that you care about... feeding the homeless, sheltering animals, church, local politics, teaching adults to read, big sister mentoring, etc. that you could lend a few hours a week to?
Also, have you tried seeing if you can get a referral to a reproductive endocrinologist? They usually (but not always) have better information on managing PCOS than other doctors, even if you're not trying to conceive again.
Good luck! This is a new start for you and a great time to figure out who you want to be and how to get there from here! And this is a great place to get help and support on the way.
oh wow thanks everyone... it makes me feel good to know there is someone who ican talk to...
i do want to work/ go to school... i have to pay some fees to get back in school so it will be summer before i can start back.... unless i get them paid before the second fast track... as for work, im worried my resume is too awful to get a job now.... i will look into the volunteering thing... i never thought about that, and that would be a great way to not only make friends, but get me out of the house....
ive never heard of an endicrine reproductive person.... i will write down the title and see if i cant get a referal... im going to work on getting in to see someone though.... i need to im really worried....
thanks again everyone
__________________ Vanessa 22
husband mike 26
daugter jen 2
PCOS dx 16
i do that, i feel bipolar or soemthing sometimes, angry mad sad one day, fine the next.... i dont get it.... but thanks everyone, a lot of times just hearing people understand and knowing there is someone to talk to can really make you feel better
__________________ Vanessa 22
husband mike 26
daugter jen 2
PCOS dx 16
Vanessa
I answered another one of your threads about the doc issue and just wanted to let you know I have a daughter that is 2 also so maybe we could meet somewhere for a play date or something if you would like.
PM me and let me know how close you are to me.
*big hugs* i just read your thread and i want you to know that a lot of it resonated with some of the things that i've gone through in recent years. i've fought depression and anxiety for years; the pcos is a relatively "new" diagnosis, but all together, it makes an overall impact. the pcos can be devastaing mentally and physically. just the side effects alone are hard enough to deal on a "good day" and you sound like you are juggling a heck of a lot of external stressors! it's normal to be angry and depressed and anxious at times. what worries me is that you seem to be totally overwhelmed and without much support.
you do have options, it's just hard to sit down and figure them all out with all of the things you've got to sort out.
first of all, you need to take care of your health. for the pcos treatment you can either go through your gynecologist or see a regular endocrinologist (a specialist in metabolic and hormonal disorders) or a reproductive endocrinologist. there are many options. take some time and research, look through some of the forums here, etc. also, what about mental health? you've mentioned your anxiety being a barrier to employment in the past. you can probably get dx'ed through your regular doctor and put on medication. i found that therapy was extremely helpful when i was at my breaking point; i found a therapist who helped me to sort out my priorities and helped me to develop much needed coping skills. this will be a help coping with day to day lie and also when you're ready to get back in the workforce. again, i don't know if you have insurance or whatnot, but your husband's employer may have an employee assistance program open to family members and there are often community counseling centers, as well as church based centers available.
i think it is great that you have plans to get back to work and school when you are able; and volunteering is a great way to get out of the house and meet people! also, as nicole said, it looks good on a resume, especially when you need to add a few "brownie points"
the living situation sounds just plain difficult! you should not have to be the one responsible for the majority of the housework. there are 5 adults living there... well, set up some boundaries. i've had some interesting living situations over the years and the only way its worked out is for everyone to pull their weight and setting up rules early on.
keep us posted and pm me if you need to talk, ok? you can also catch me on yahoo messenger (which i'm on a bit more than i am here lately).
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i havnt thought about therpy.... i was in it after my parents got devorced and it helped a lot, and i do have insurance and i think mental health is free... so i will definatly look into that... maybe they can at least help build my confednce about getting out there to make friends and build support...
my husband is supportive, but at the same time gets really frustrated with me cause hes the only one i have been able to talk to...
we have talked to our room mates and they are going to move out... we dont need the extra money, the living with us was meant as temp until they could find their own place... they just havnt made any effort, but hubby talked to them and told them that we really need "our" time and our family... we have had room mates since we got married... and that was almost 4 years ago... my borther will be the only one left, but he had a mental disorder and cant live on his own (autistic) but he also isnt as bad about making and leaving a mess when he isnt influenced that way.... for that matter, the mess only started happening when they moved in.... and i have them concentrating it now at least in the game room and the bed room they sleep in (soetimes the kitchen)
thanks everyone... i really apprectate it...
__________________ Vanessa 22
husband mike 26
daugter jen 2
PCOS dx 16
well, i'm glad things seem to be moving in a better direction for you.
it will take some time to feel "normal" again, but it will happen. i'm glad that your home is going to get back to normal; it's great to be able to help friends out, but it gets to a point where it can add to your own troubles.
hang in there! and keep us posted!
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I just need to get it all out 
