I just realized why I never got any sympathy cards
I was really upset when Rivi died and nobody sent cards. I wanted those cards for his memory book. But now I know why - I can see it from the other side.
I bought a card for Renee, and I can't possibly get my feelings into words. There is no way to tell her how sorry I am - all of my words seem too small .
I finally wrote SOMETHING, just to get it in the mail. But now I finally understand why some people seem to ignore our losses. It's just that they can't find the words.
Love,
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I can't say that I know how this all feels for you or Renee...I just hope that you both know your lil angels are watching over you now...I hope that wasn't on the list of what not to say... My prayers and heart goes out for you guys - -
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I know what you mean Viv. I too got Renee a card, sat down, looked at it and thought to myself "Well what do I say to a woman who has just gone through something this horrible?" It's so hard to put into words exactly what the heart feels. I think it goes even deeper than the heart though, right to the core of one's being. There just isn't anything to describe those feelings of sorrow that one has for a cherished friends loss.
Love Angela
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The words do seem to be hard to find. It can be hard to know what to say when someone is hurting from such a loss. Recently my DH's cousin lost her baby. She lives quite far away but I knew it was important to acknowledge the loss and try to show that we care. We sent a card with a short note. That doesn't feel like enough. It was her first child.
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Well, I probably didn't express myself the greatest but I wrote Renee a card. I didn't spend a lot of time finding the right words, just figured it was better to say something and let her know I was thinking of her.
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I would like to send her a card as well, although I don't know her personally. If anyone would like to, could you please email me an address that I can send one?
If not, I understand. She doesn't know me personally, but I would like to send my condolences nonetheless.
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Asukachick,
In a way, we all know each other personally around this board. We are each suffering with the worst thing that can happen to someone as well as running from the pcos monster. We have way too much in commom... we truly are cysters. I'll send you her address from her original post in the pregnancy forum. For everyone else, here it is:
Renee SoulCyster (I'm a soulcyster)
4135 Frank Street
Pittsburgh, PA 15217
Viv,
I completely agree that it is impossible to express how we feel adequately with the English language. I just wish we were there with her when she opens the card so we could show her how very sad we are and how much we care. Maybe that's what I'll write. I did have friends who were very eloquent in their cards, and it meant a lot that some immediately made donations in Mary Catherine's honor to the Heiffer Project or the March of Dimes. I felt that she had already made a positive impact on this world. The short answer on the cards is that simply knowing that people care enough to send a card means a lot, and no words can bring Ari back to Renee, so the words are unnecessary. I think if she has any idea how many cysters are devestated by this cruel reality, she will at least know that she's not alone. That's the best we can do.
Also, if you'd like a real card sometime, I would be honored to send you a sympathy card for Rivi's memory box. One option you have would also be to commemorate his birthday with lots of memorable things, including cards from all of us. Just think about it, no hurry. I'm sure you are right about people not sending them because words just aren't enough. But they are SOMETHING, and it was truly better than nothing to receive some.
Hugs to Everyone,
Sheri
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Thanks, Sheri - I don't need a sympathy card, I get sympathy from you gals everyday. It was just weird when I realized there might actually have been a reason for some of the rudeness (not that it's a GREAT excuse, but, you know).
And you just gave me an idea. I'm keeping a diary of letters to Rivi for my first year without him, and I think then I'll switch over to birthday cards every year. I can't write him letters everyday for the rest of my life, and I think after a year I will have said it all - I'm already repeating myself over and over and over. So I love the idea of birthday cards. Thanks!
Tariana, I finally just wrote SOMETHING, too. But it still took me a long time to come up with something that didn't seem too blah.
Viv...i think Renee will know that you're thinking of her and understand even just by the fact you took the time to reach out to her...i'm housebound til thursday but will get a card in the mail then...in the meantime i havent stopped thinking of her...like Sheri says we might not 'know' each other...but we DO know eachother...kwim??
Anyway thanks for posting the address again i knew i'd have to go back and search the other thread so this really helps...
I just realized why I never got any sympathy cards 
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My prayers and heart goes out for you guys - -
