lovepotato

As some of you know, my sister had a baby a week after Eric was born. I've only seen her on Christmas, and I didn't even really look. Well, she wants me to come over to watch a movie, and I think I'm almost ready to.
One day this week, I was watching TV, and there was a baby in a commercial or something. I don't really remember. Anyway, I felt something besides pain, and longing, and jealousy, and anger that it wasn't me. I think I'm almost ready to be around babies, but only for a little bit.

I think, for me, it's hard to be around babies b/c I want to take care of them, but I know I'll have to give them back to their mommies. The most I'll ever be is a baby sitter. For now.

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Molly & DJ

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Eric James, our angel was born 12/13/05. He died from birth defects called Limb-Body Wall Complex. He was too perfect for this world.

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Anyone can tell you it won't hurt tomorrow but I'm here to listen while it hurts today.

Mustard Seed

You are very strong to be going to your sister's. I can understand your feelings of anger, sadness and jealousy. I feel the same ways a lot of times when I am around friends that have babies. I didn't want to be around any pg friends when I was back visiting family/friends at Christmas and I was able to avoid 2 of my 3 pg friends. I know I definitely took the easy way out by avoiding them, but I think it was for the best.

I'm praying that we will all have our own babies to take care of someday really soon!

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VivC

((hugs)). I'm glad you're feeling stronger! But don't be surprised if sometimes you still can't be around babies. It's normal to go back and forth for awhile. But you're making SO MUCH progress!

Viv

nikkisix

I just wanted to wish you well today...

Be strong, and don't feel bad in the least when you need to leave. I'm thinking of you today. (((Hugs)))

Nicole

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DSS - 7
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(I'm so blessed to be in his life)
7 Failed clomid cycles
HSG 12/12/07 - all clear
IVF #1 - Retrieval November 25
ET - November 28 (2)
1 A- 1 B+

My Angel - 12/08/2005

lovepotato

Thanks cysters.
I held her for 2 hours. SHe slept the whole time. I kept checking on her b/c I thought she stopped breathing. Babies have always freaked me out b/c of SIDS, but I realized that it's gotten worse since I lost Eric.

I have square ears. My nephew has em too, but they're not like mine. They stick out more, and the top part is thinner. Eric had my EXACT ears. Everything about them was the same. I think Abby, my niece, has squarish ears too, but they're roundish on the outside. Kind of like when a rock is in the water, it gets worn down a little. So, all of my mom's grandkids have square ears so far.
She looks exactly like my sister's dad. It's so weird how kids are born looking like other people. It's like the world goes on, and there will always be people who look like people who have died.

Well, I just wanted to say how it's going. I'm getting better, but I don't want to hear about my cousin, who's due when I was due. I'm working backwards. I was okay with kids born before Eric, now I'm working on kids after. I don't know how long it'll take me with babies born around the same time, or pregnant people. I'm not rushing it. I'll get there when I get there.

__________________
Molly & DJ

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Eric James, our angel was born 12/13/05. He died from birth defects called Limb-Body Wall Complex. He was too perfect for this world.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Anyone can tell you it won't hurt tomorrow but I'm here to listen while it hurts today.

nikkisix

Oh I'm glad to hear it went ok for you, I think that must have been really hard. I wasn't nearly as far along as you and it was hard for me to work up the nerve to see my friends new baby. And to be totally honest, I can't think of seeing a preg woman right now...

I agree with you on how babies look like someone else - like a reminder.

Be so good to yourself...

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DSS - 7
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
(I'm so blessed to be in his life)
7 Failed clomid cycles
HSG 12/12/07 - all clear
IVF #1 - Retrieval November 25
ET - November 28 (2)
1 A- 1 B+

My Angel - 12/08/2005