I'm pregnant

jschmidt · 08-07-2003, 11:34 AM

I found out this morning I am pregnant, after my 2nd Clomid cycle I was 95% sure I wasn't pregnant, so my DH and I decided to adopt from South Korea, we were planning on submitting our application on Monday. Yesterday I met with the agency and on the way home, I was finally so happy to be adopting, I felt like I was content for the first time in years! Imagine my surprise when I decided to take one last test, AF is a week late, and two lines showed up. Now I don't know what to do, I'm pretty sure South Korea requires a one year age difference between a bio child and adopted, so we could probably do the home study and application, but delay the referral until my bio child is a year. My greatest fear though is that I will m/c (again!) and have delayed adoption, and by the time we start the process, months will have gone by and I will have to wait still longer for a baby. Anyone else been in this situation? I don't know either if we should tell the agency right away that I'm pregnant, or wait until the home study, we DEFINITELY still want to adopt from South Korea, it's just the timing. It's so funny how a month ago I was dying to be pregnant and now I'm not! God keeps throwing surprises my way. Sorry for the rant but I'm terrified right now of m/c, not adopting, and just the future in general. Any advice or encouragement would be so appreciated!

Julie

dna · 08-07-2003, 12:13 PM

First of all Julie Congrats !!

Second of all, when we were in the first stages of adopting our social worker told us if we were to get pregnant (not actively trying, not actively preventing) not to tell her until we were sure we werent going to m/c (she obviously knows the risks of PCOS and early m/c).......
Then we wouldnt be set back if it happened.

Take it day by day, call the agency anonymously and ask them hypothetically what would happen if ??? you are in the very early stages of adoption and pregnancy at this point...

Here is to a healthy and happy 9 months regardless ! Amazing !

Take Care and update us on the situation !
Amy

Lisa67 · 08-07-2003, 12:18 PM

Congratulations, Julie! What wonderful news!

I'm sure you are feeling a bit of stress right now, but everything will work out just fine. I like Amy's advice so I won't add anything of my own! LOL

Take care & keep us posted!

MaryS · 08-07-2003, 12:26 PM

Congratulations Julie!!!
Here's to a happy and healthy pg.

Mary

websissy · 08-07-2003, 01:50 PM

Congratulations!

I also became pregnant around the same time we received our State and INS approval. I called our homestudy social worker and she said the fact that I was pregnant was not a problem as far as our approval status. I told our adoption agency right away and they acted really happy and said we could move the process on a bit faster so we could hopefully have our adopted baby a few months before the birth baby was born. They said we would have to adopt with at least a 9 month age difference. Then about 2 months later after we completed our parent prep classes with the social worker, I asked her if it was possible for just my DH to travel to Panama to pick up our child and if I could give my power of attorney to him (I was worried about potential health risks since I was pregnant)? She said she would look into it and a week later told us that the agency's social worker in Panama thought it was best that we put our adoption plans on hold as I would be required to travel and the courts may view us "as greedy Americans". I could understand putting things on hold for safety reasons, but the comment on the Greedy Americans really pissed me off.

So, if you don't want to delay your adoption plans and you don't have any worries about the travel part, if I could do it over, I might not tell the agency. You probably won't start to really show until your 5.5 to 6 months along. You may want to check with your homestudy social worker as you don't want them to think your holding anything back from them. I'm not sure what Korea's rules are on this - hopefully everything will work out for the best

Best Wishes!

cbeldner · 08-08-2003, 11:22 PM

It amazing that when you have plans God seems to pull the rug out from underneath you. That's what happen to us. Our one year old son was brought to us thru the blessing of adoption. We had plans to start the process again this December. Now I'm 25 weeks pregnant. We were shocked and feeling a lot like you, confused. Just take it one day at a time. I believe that God will guide you in the right direction. Congratulations on deciding to adopt and congratulations on the pregnancy, both are wonderful blessings and I wish you the best of luck.

jschmidt · 08-09-2003, 12:31 PM

Thanks everyone, for your well wishes and personal stories, we are still going to go to the first meeting, and not say anything until I've made it past the first trimester. That way, if I miscarry, we'll be right on track, and if I don't we'll be okay with delaying our referral for a year. God has definitely surprised me a million times this past year and a half! So much for planning! I'm trying not to be too nervous about this pregnancy, must easier said than done

Julie

mamadawny · 08-10-2003, 07:34 PM

Can I relate? OH YEAH! I just found out I am pregnant and our adopted baby is due to be born in 3-4 weeks. I am a wreck. I still want to go through with the adoption but keep having panic attacks about the fact that I could be carrying twins. If there is just one baby, I know I can handle having them 7 months apart but if I'm carrying twins......OH LORD! Anyway, I will just chill out until my next few betas come in and we have an ultrasound. It is so funny, I wrote a post about wanting a hodge-podge of a family and it looks like it is coming true. My DD has special needs, blonde and blue eyes. The baby I'm adopting is 3/8 American Indian and 1/8 Hispanic. Our bio baby will probably have brown hair, blue eyes, short and pudgy. Then I have dreamed about adopting from China some day. HAHAHA! Oh well, the more the merrier. Good luck to you and I will see you on our April due date post.