I thought I should start a new thread about this instead of threadjacking ...
Anyway, I have a question: I've seen people on this forum, and around the Internet (various Yahoo! groups; LiveJournal) talking about their psychiatrists/psychologists/therapists/social workers, and how they are miracle workers and godsends -- How do you people find them? I've been in and out of treatment since I was ten and have never found anybody like that, either they dismissed my problems or I didn't connect with them. Where did you find them? How many bad clinicians did you have to endure before you found your One?
I'm done with pyschiatry (and doctors; ever since I found out you're supposed to go off Metformin for a few days before an MRI, and my doctor has had me get three knowing I was on Met ... I haven't been keen on doctors since, not that I can afford going to the doctor, but that's another topic) unless I'm forced to go, but I'm just wondering. This is one of thousands of things about people that I don't get.
Not ttc. DH has had a vasectomy. We have 2 gorgeous boys, 2 and 4. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Dr's/Specialists - I had a couple of problems with, took a couple of go's.
Therapists - onto my second. My first one was good (but limited to fertility issues) through our EAP program.
Second one - check they are registered and a member of a relevant body. You can also internet search different therapy types which I did a bit when looking for a second one.
Pick say three off the register based on their experience, areas of speciality and therapy methods i.e. CBT, that sound okay to you.
Then when ringing for an appointment ask some questions before you make an appointment. If they don't want to answer or don't have the time I wouldn't bother.
Give them a background on you, what you are hoping to achieve, how they think they might help you. Tell them you've been very unsatisfied in the past & see what they say to that.
I don't know - maybe you've done all this?
For me I've never been dismissed, but I have to say it would take around 4 - 6 sessions for me to start to feel connected.
Anyway, I have a question: I've seen people on this forum, and around the Internet (various Yahoo! groups; LiveJournal) talking about their psychiatrists/psychologists/therapists/social workers, and how they are miracle workers and godsends -- How do you people find them? I've been in and out of treatment since I was ten and have never found anybody like that, either they dismissed my problems or I didn't connect with them. Where did you find them? How many bad clinicians did you have to endure before you found your One?
You dont have to answer any of these questions - Just something for you to think about.
Have you been referred to these clinicians and if so did the referrer understand what type of therapy you are after?
Since you have had so many bad experiences (and from a young age) does this make it difficult for you to connect with and trust a therapist? Its only natural that your "crap run" of professionals could change your attitude to the whole process and make you cynical about possible benefits, which in turn effects your ability to build a trusting therapeutic relationship. This isnt your fault, just something to keep in mind and something you might want to discuss with a new therapist (if you decide to try again) early on.
As for the ones who have dismissed your problems im sorry about that. A good quailified therapist is not there to judge the "worthyness" of your problems but to address and assist with the impact they are having on you. Of course like any profession there are those who are good at their job and those who are not.
If you decide to try again with therapy i wish you luck. Remember it can take a while to build a rapport so try to hang in there for at least a few sessions before you start to make up your mind. Also, like one of the previous posts stated make sure they are suitably qualified and accredited.
Kel
__________________ KELLIE
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Diagnosed 1996 Irregular AF - TTC IBS & Reflux Loads of damn hair Hello efexor my old friend......geez we meet again after two years apart!
You dont have to answer any of these questions - Just something for you to think about.
Have you been referred to these clinicians and if so did the referrer understand what type of therapy you are after?
Yes, my family doctor and (former) vocational rehablitation counserlor referred me to the local public mental health service, both times was a bust and waste of time. You don't get quality when you live in a mostly poor, podunk hicktown, and you can't drive or have no friends or family to drive you anywhere (Not that I can afford it, I don't have health coverage at the moment). Those were the only times I was referred, the rest was forced.
Quote:
Since you have had so many bad experiences (and from a young age) does this make it difficult for you to connect with and trust a therapist? Its only natural that your "crap run" of professionals could change your attitude to the whole process and make you cynical about possible benefits, which in turn effects your ability to build a trusting therapeutic relationship. This isnt your fault, just something to keep in mind and something you might want to discuss with a new therapist (if you decide to try again) early on.
Yes. I remember one person I went to when I was eleven was surprised at "how profoundly depressed I was," and told my mother she couldn't handle it. And I won't go into the complete mess the whole situation was when I was a ward of the state ... So, it's a yes, a most emphatic yes.
But, I have trouble connecting to people period, could be problems there as well. I don't get people, understand them, and I find most other people irritating.
Thanks for the imput everyone who's answered, it's really interesting.
My first therapist-- a social worker attached to the university I was doing graduate school at was a terrible terrible match for me. She didn't believe me a lot and was all about me finding my own answers without actually giving any help in doing so. Luckily she referred me to a therapy center that was specifically directed towards my major problem-- anxiety, where I got a really great therapist who pretty much cured me of my anxiety (though I find I'm still afraid of anesthesiologists, but I didn't think I'd ever have to deal with one again at the time).
I had a couple of friends who had been in and out of therapy and trying different drug cocktails since high school (both are doing great now at the ages of 28 and 26) and they both told me that some therapists are just crappy, and some are just not good matches and that is important to shop around to find one that works. They both told me that when they need a new therapist (because they're moving or returning to therapy after an absence) that they tell the prospective therapist in the first meeting that they are shopping around for a good fit and sometimes take a few tries to find someone that works out.
I have had oh let's see.....1...2....3... about 9 therapists over the course of ten years. To make this short, I don't think there are 'bad' clinicians - per say. Insenstive, unprofessional - oh yeah!!
I truly believe that you can't see until you can see and you can't hear until you can hear. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.
Therapy is hard, but it can also be the most rewading thing you do for yourself.
I really don't know what to say, I am sorry. I wish I could help you more.
I've just learned that no man is an island and we gotta be able to trust someone, Easy-no.
(hug) Keep us posted please.
About a year ago I saw someone, it helped a little at the time but his style wasn't really working for me. He was really into behaviourism i think (where they tell you to act different in order to feel different), but the style of therapy I love is cognitive (think different to feel different), if i could find someone who does that I would love to go back. Right now im just trying to get my body in order and see if straigtening my hormones out/exercising helps enough.
I'm Really Curious 
