i'm so sad..we found out that we are not able to have biological children
DH and I have been TTC for about a year. He then went for Sperm Analysis and he has not one sperm. Not one. we were in denial and he did it again. And and again, nothing. i have PCOS and HAD Hyperplasia before. So after our wedding we went and he had a procedure done where they would extract the sperm out of his testes. The results were heart breaking for the both of us. He has sertoli only syndrome and will not be able to have children - ever. We dont know what to do. I feel like someone has died and am very depressed about this. I console him a lot but its hard for me too.
he said that he would like for me to do sperm donor or adoption. when i first heard the words sperm donor, i was like "no way". i couldnt see myself having someone else's child other than my husband's. even though it does take a big man to say this to his wife. a lot of men would not give that option or be open to that option. sooooo..........now i am becoming for comfortable with this sperm donor, only because at least it will be half biologically mine. on the other hand, there are sooo many children out there that need a home and we can adopt. i even had a dream that we adopted a little boy from fiji the other night and it was like god was trying to tell me something.
we just dont know what to do. DH would be happy with any decision but for me i am sooooo confused. and sometimes i feel selfish putting myself through all of the meds to have sperm donor instead of just adopting a little baby you we could welcome into our arms forever. i just need some advice and i know i can only make this decision but right now my mind is going a hundred miles a minute. thanks for listening and reading.
I am sorry that you have such sad news. I am in the same boat w/you in deciding to adopt or give things another try. My husband said it was up to me, but I just don't know the right decision to make.
Do I decide to adopt, and regret never giving a bioligical child another try, or do I try again and risk wasting more money that could be used to adopt a little one. I absolutely hate these decisions.
For us personally, we're planning on looking into adoption in the Spring, while trying IVF #3. I'm sorry I wasn't much help, but just wanted you to know you are not alone in these life altering decisions.
It does sound like you have a GREAT husband!! Maybe you could get info on the donor sperm and on adoption, and just read about both and contemplate for a few months, maybe that would help clear your head. GL in whatever you decide and if you want someone to talk to who is in a similar boat, please email me!!
I wish you the best on your decisions. I know what you are going thru is hard. I tried for 10 years before God blessed me by adoption with my beautiful daughter. I will tell you this. I went down the fertility road for years. All I can say is the child you adopt will be "yours" the bond you have will be unbelieveable. I loved my daughter so much the first time I held her in my arms. She's the biggest blessing I've had and I wouldn't of wanted it any other way, because any other way and I wouldnt of had her. I love her and she's my "real" daughter, I'm her "real"mommy. I'm real and a real mommy. You can't imagine the feeling, you really can't. You might wonder how, but your instincts kick in and you ARE a mommy. I wish you the best with everything.
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I am my childs 'real' mommy and never ever have any regrets about being so....
I cannot tell you everyone feels the same as Lisa and I do with our children but if your heart is really accepting of it then you will be too
Good luck
Amy
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Oct 09 - Femara 5mgs Days 3-7 BFN
Nov 09 - Femara 5mgs Days 3-7
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I'm sorry that you've received bad news, but with bad news comes blessings. Please pay attention to all of the signs around you because you will be directed to where you need to go. Best wishes and keep your eyes, ears and heart open.
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I just want to tell you that you are not alone. My husband has a zero count. Our only option would be donor sperm or adoption. And we chose donor. Our first try was successful but sadly i m/c'ed. We are now trying again and I'm in the middle of taking my clomid.
The child will be yours and all thoughts that it was another mans sperm never even crosses your mind.
Best of luck in your decision!
~tracy
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Our miracles:
Maddox William 9lb 13oz 5/12/06
Lincoln Anthony 9lb 5oz 8/1/08
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We found out a little over a year ago that my DH was sterile. It was alot worse than when we found out I had PCOS. I was the one who broke the news to him---it had to be the hardest thing I had ever done up to that point. My DH offered to give me a divorce so I could "find a real man". We went through a period where he didn't believe me when I would tell him that I loved him and didn't care whether he could father a child or not.
We are now doing the foster to adopt thing and I can't wait to see my dh be a daddy. He is going to be fantastic.
You will grieve, we did. But adoption is so cool and so special.
If you need a shoulder just PM or email.
Stacy
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What God brings you to,
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I can't imagine how tough that news was for you. I can say that I know a few people who have adopted and the thought that "they were adopted" never even crosses anyone's mind. I have a feeling that the second that baby is in your arms, it's just yours. However, some woman really want to experience that baby growing inside them if it's at all possible, and if you feel that way, then maybe sperm donor is the right choice for you. I know that saying this now will not really help, but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. Whatever decision you make will definitely be the right one. You are very lucky to have a supportive DH who would be willing to give the sperm donor a try. Good luck with your decision and as cliche as it sounds, just follow your heart and it won't steer you wrong.
I'm so sorry you had to receive this disheartening news. (((hugs))) Your hubby is a very wonderful man. I'll be thinking of you as you both decide which step to take next.
luv
amber
Jess...I feel terrible for you and your husband...you have a terrific marriage and you will both overcome this together. Which ever way you decide to go...know that one day you will have a precious baby to love and he/she will have unconditional love for the both of you! Your in my thoughts and prayers!
__________________ -US NAVY FAMILY
-10+ years of PCOS, SAHM & full time
college student
- Me, Laura (31)... DH, Sam (30)
- DD's: Kassie 10 and Kateri 4
- Not taking PCOS med's
- Depression, anxiety, panic attacks
- Acne, excessive hair growth, IBS
- GERD, dark patches around groin
- Overweight, hyperplasia,high triglycerides, elevated testosterone, no periods
thank you for all of your warm and sincere words. i honestly need this place. i am glad to find such a supportive team that i can be there for and that can be there for me. today was a so-so day. i have those horrible, weak days and then i have those strong and "i can get through this today...nothing can hold me down" days. i am just grieving right now. and i truly do beleive that thinds happen for a reason.
right now, DH is going to go for a second opinion. i feel that this will be an even harder let down (didnt tell him that)...i feel this way because he was surgically examined and his testes are completely scared and it's just a NO for us as far as biological. but if he needs to do a sperm analysis once more to truly know for sure i am all there for him. if it's a no, so far we are leaning towards the sperm donor thing. just need to find info on this....dont even know where to begin on that. if that works out well, later on down the road we will still adopt.
it's so oddly strange how some men dont have a care in the world for their children. some have these kids and dont even want to be in their lives. but my DH ALWAYS wanted 8 kids. lol....yes you read that correct.......8!! he is so cute.
it's hard some days when people are always asking me "when are you going to have kids?" i know that a lot of people get this question after they are married but i think i would never ask someone that because you dont know what that person is truly going through ( no one knows about this news but DH and i).
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Married 7-25-02
PCOS Diagnosed Nov 02'
Bi Polar Diagnosed Feb 08'
Current meds~ Lithium&Celexa
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My DH and I have gone through the same thing. DH has zero sperm count do to having no vas deferens (the tube the brings the sperm from the testicle to out the penis). It is caused by a chromosone defect. I felt like my world had crashed down around me. We morned the death of the child we would never have together. That was 2 years ago and it is true time does heal. We don't have the money to adopt even though we see all of those children who need a home and it breaks out heart so we ended up deciding to use donor sperm which worked. We are currently a week and a half away from our due date and are so happy. It does take a real special man to have his wife get pregnant with another man's sperm and it sounds like you have one of those men. Give yourself and DH enough time to grieve before making a decision.
If you need someone to talk to who's been through this, please PM me.
Good luck!
PS: I hear ya on people asking when you are going to have kids. It drove me crazy. The other thing is to be very careful who you tell re: donor sperm as not everyone is as open minded and people can be cruel and not realize it. I know my MIL was but she is fine with it but it still hurts.
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{{{{HUGS}}}} I'm so sorry We're kinda in the same place right now but it's my body that's the problem. So right now we're deciding between IVF w/ PGD & adoption. We're not going to definately decide on anything until at least February b/c I do have some more testing to do. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I know the horrible feeling that you will never have live biological children & never be pg...
Traci
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good luck with your decision & healing.
When people ask when will you have kids, dont sweat it, cause you WILL have kids either way they will be your children, all 8 of them! Just tell them that you are still deciding. (or ask them when they had their last pap smear or prostate exam)
we adopted our perfect son a little over a year ago, and i wouldnt change a thing about him or our choices, He is my son in every scense of the word (i am constantly revolving around him) Now that we are ttc again, i dont feel the pressure i once did, and have a much more relaxed attitude about it. My dream has already come true, any more children in whatever way they come to me be will be a bonus.
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i'm so sad..we found out that we are not able to have biological children 
We're kinda in the same place right now but it's my body that's the problem. So right now we're deciding between IVF w/ PGD & adoption. We're not going to definately decide on anything until at least February b/c I do have some more testing to do. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I know the horrible feeling that you will never have live biological children & never be pg...
