I'm Struggling

Kalyn · 02-02-2008, 12:39 AM

Ok, I really don't have anyone to talk to. My mom don't have any advice really, and she has her own things to worry about and my boyfriend just blows off anything I tell him....so, I came here....

I am an emotional person. My feelings get hurt easy, the littlest things can make me teary-eyed. But here in the last month, its gotten so much worse. One minute I am so mad I want to hit/throw something, the next I just want to collapse and bawl. I know my job don't help. I hate my job, I can't stand my boss and while I don't think this is the soul cause of it I don't think it helps.

December 16th (2007) I started my Lupron injection (for endometriosis). All seemed ok. About 2 weeks later I started heavy bleeding. I hadn't had a period in 10 months, which my doctor said my PCOS caused that. So for 3 weeks I bled heavy, felt so tired and weak, was in so much pain I almost couldn't take it.

That was right around when the "sadness" kicked in. It was more than just being stuck in a job I hated or working with people I didn't really like. Its something else that I can't describe. At work I have to excuse myself to the bathroom just so I don't break down in front of people. At home I will go take a shower just to have a place to cry so my boyfriend won't know. People who know me say I am not the same. I'm not as "perky" as I use to be, even though I smile it just seems fake. The thing is, it is fake. I don't feel like smiling or being happy.

I am so tired I feel like I could sleep for days. I use to love talking to my mom and my best friend on the phone all the time, and anymore I am just quick on the phone with them, not calling just to chit-chat. Sometimes I feel as if I am just in the way, bothering everyone.

I don't know if it is me going crazy imagining I feel the way I do, if its just a normal thing (I doubt that) or if it is my meds. I know the Lupron is to "shut off" my hormones and I am not sure if this is a side effect....if so I don't want to take it anymore.

soulfulqween · 02-02-2008, 05:00 AM

That shot may very well be the cause of it...Google it and see what the side effects are.

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time...I hope it gets better and SOON

Sarah23 · 02-02-2008, 11:46 AM

((((hugs)))))

I can relate to how you're feeling. I've been where you are.
It could be the meds you're taking....but I don't think it would be causing side effects this extreme.

I'd talk to your doctor about getting on an anti-depressant. I did, and it made a world of difference!

I hope you feel better soon!

~Sarah~

up&down · 02-02-2008, 01:52 PM

I can relate. Are you taking anything actually FOR the PCOS? I am on Metformin, and it really is a huge help. I just don't take it the way I should. When I do take it regularly, I feel SO much better. Just hang in there honey! Believe it or not, there is someone who is worse off than you. Just keep going, it will get better!

KatCarney · 02-02-2008, 03:24 PM

[quote=Sarah23;1888927242It could be the meds you're taking....but I don't think it would be causing side effects this extreme.[/QUOTE]

I experienced exactly what the OP described when I was on BCP's. I'm naturally not 'moody' at all, and generall in a 'sunny' mood. But on BCP's I ping ponged between being a weepy mess and a raging maniac. It finally got so bad, I demanded to be taken off of it. Within a week, I was back to my normal self.

Years later, it was suggested that I take Lupron for a few weeks in advance of fibroid surgery, but when I told this new gyno about my mood changes on BCP's, she said, I'd probably have the same reaction on Lupron. As a result, I opted not to take it.

I was NONFUNCTIONAL on bcp's, and literally thought I was going crazy.

You might want to talk to your doctor about getting on a different med...not an additional one.

Kalyn · 02-02-2008, 11:52 PM

Right now I am not taking anything for PCOS. She wanted to deal with the endometriosis first because I was in some horrific pain, and it has seemed to help with that for the most part. I still have spasms of pain, but not crippling anymore. She said the Lupron might even help with the PCOS in a way. After my Lupron treatment she was going to see where I stood on my cycles and how my body adjusted. The injection that I had in December is going to last until March. I really don't see how I can take much more of this.

I never had really bad mood swings or major depression when I was one BCPs. The only negative side effect I had from the pill was really high blood pressure.

I talked to my boyfriend and my mom today about the way I was feeling. I was scared to say anything. For some reason I figured everyone would think it was all in my head. But after today at work, I knew I needed to speak up. I got to the point that I thought I couldn't take it anymore and when my boyfriend stopped down at work I just about lost it, cause I didn't want to be left there and then when he left I went to the bathroom and just broke down. I keep putting on a happy face for everyone, and I am done doing that.

I have a nurse through ScriptAssist that I can call and I think I am going to call her on Monday. My boyfriend said I really need to talk to her about the way I am feeling and my mom agrees. They both think it is the medication. I dealt with a bit of depression a long time ago, more of a down in the dumps kinda thing (I had a lot going on). This is so different and I really think I need to get help before it gets worse.

Thank you all for you comments. I really appreciate it so much.

soulfulqween · 02-03-2008, 12:02 AM

The fact that you know you need help and you are seeking it is commendable on their own... You'll be alright keep your head up. Plus it sounds like you have a good support system which is very important