I'm trying.............

Junooni · 08-21-2002, 05:41 AM

Depression, nothing new with me.

In another one of my posts I stated that I feel I am bad luck, I do believe that. I want to know when things will become better in my life. It's always one thing after another. I won't get into everything, partly because of sounding "whiney" and for fear in some ways. So for what I do tell, even if nobody reads it, is just ramblings I feel I need to put down.

I was actually told I had depression when I was 10 and they wanted to put me on medicine then (prozac) but it had side effects that might be too much on me so it was decided against. In a way I am happy because I am already doing three things for PCOS and wouldn't want to be taking something else too just because I am a little forgetful and that kind of stuff gets me down. At first I was sad and crying all the time when I was really young, not wanting to go to school and trying to stay away from my mom. Then I started to not feel at all. I stayed in my room all the time and kept the blinds shut tight so no light would get in. I just stayed there afraid to come out and wanted to disappear. After my dad took me away from my mom I got a little better where I was being a little more outgoing and wanting to do more but that only lasted for about a year. Now I have been depressed again and with PCOS adding to the other things that are still going on among newer things. I just feel lost and I really want to know when I will have that "normal" life I always wanted. Sorry for wasting anyone's time who's maybe read this and for sounding so stupid when I know other people have it worse too.

loofah · 08-21-2002, 12:30 PM

Hi and a warm welcome to you.

I want you to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I went through many many years of severe depression and never thought that I would be "normal" again.

I ended up hooking up with our local mental health team and through antidepressants and mostly counselling I gradually got better.

Do you have a mental health service that you can talk to?

You don't sound stupid at all - you sound lost and hurting and sad.

(((((((((((((((((((((Junooni)))))))))))))))))))))

Junooni · 08-21-2002, 04:41 PM

Thank you for the support.

To answer you both about counseling, I have noticed myself getting kind of bad with the depression and nothing helping for too long so I got an appointment to see someone on the 28th. I have seen many growing up and some were good while others were rude or just plain mean. I hope this will turn out okay, if not then I will find another counselor to see.

loofah · 08-21-2002, 07:43 PM

That is good to hear. Let us know how you go. I really do hope that the one you get is really caring and supportive.

pm me if you want to.

Lendi · 08-21-2002, 10:34 PM

You are not stupid! You do sound sad though and I'm sorry you are feeling this way. {{hugs}} I sincerely hope the counselor can help you. Keep at it until you do find something. You deserve to have a life with sunshine in it. And, please, always feel free to come here and vent when you need too. That's what we're here for. Keep in contact and let us know how things are going.
Lendi