i need advice!!

missmelanie23 · 08-18-2004, 05:20 PM

I feel like i've made the biggest error to be done. I've badly fallen for a good friend of mine. My feelings for her keep growing. She too is a Lesbian and she knows of how i feel about her. In fact, everyone around me knows yet i haven't even said a word. Some say its really obvious just by the way i look at her.

In any case... right now i feel like i have no one to confide to. So I am writing here, taking a risk that maybe some of you actually know who i am in real life. I can't talk to my friend because, it just doesn't feel right since her feelings for me aren't the same, and i can't confide to my straight friends parents or family because i just make them feel unconfortable, and i can't talk my gay friends about it cause word seems to travel really fast.

My feelings for this friend have been there for a while. growing stronger it seems but since she doesn't feel the same. i'm trying not to let it all get in the way of our friendship. But its really starting to be bothersome. Its intefearing with my other friendships, especially new ones because some are interested in me yet i send a vibe that sends them running. I don't know how to stop this. I keep telling myself that yes my friend had her chance, its time to move on but i can't seem to do it. HELP! I can't live like this.. I want my life back.. I want these feelings to stop taking over and i just don't know how to go about it!.

Zebra · 08-21-2004, 06:57 PM

It sounds like you are in an awkward situation there! There is nothing worse than to feel that admiration is unreciprocated (sp?), but then again, when I read overe your post... I could not find teh part where you spell out HOW you know that she doesn't feel the same.
I am sure you know her well enough to judge her feelings, and to interpret her body language etc. But especially in this kind of situation, I have seen many that have gone to assume the feelings are not the same from teh other person and missed opportunities were later regretfully discovered.
(yes of course, there were some that confessed their feelings, and found out for sure that it was indeed as they thought, but still...)

I guess what I am trying to say is, maybe it would be worth discussing it with her. try to create a casual meeting, and just see how the conversation goes. Invite her for coffee, no strings attached and see what she says. Maybe even bring up the fact, that you feel that the situation seems to be more awkward then what you would like it to be (no need to mention because of that you like her and she doesn't seem to feel theh same way, just say the way you interact seemed to have changed and you would like to find out what's behind it or something)

I always think confronting it is better than waiting for something to happen. That way you would find out for sure and can move on (with or without her), otherwise you will have to keep on waiting and wondering.

Uh, I don't know if I am any help here, just didn't want your post to go ignored any longer , since I just deiscovered it.
Hope it works out fine! and good luck! ;-)

Zebra

bluedragonfly2000 · 08-22-2004, 03:50 AM

Mel- Sounds like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. It must be hard to have such deep feelings for her and not to recieve them back. Have you had an open conversation with her about how she feels/what she wants?
Just wanted to respond to your post, sorry I don't really have any words of wisdom to share with you

seems I am having girl troubles too these days

Mel