Helloo everyone, just recently my gf was diagnosed with PCOS but weve known for a good 3 or 4 months now that she had this so weve had plenty of time to prepare and such. Despite all this time that weve had to prepare its still hitting us extremely hard, the yaz that shes taking is making her extremely sick everyday and shes becoming increasingly mellow and sad at times. Im not complaining and im not saying shes "changed" or ANYTHING even remotely close to that.. im just asking for advice on how i can help her.. Lord knows i would do anything for this woman and if only i could i would take this away and give it to myself if i could... i know i cant heal her.. i would if i could... im just asking how as a man i can continue to make her feel beautiful and special like i always try too even on her worst of days, and how i can take some of this heavy burden from her shoulders.. We are extremely thankful that this isnt something worse but this is still a serious illness and its scary.. and way to real.. and if anyone could write me back with information on how to help her and how to take some of this and LOTS of information on PCOS like tell me EVERYTHING that you know.. i want to be there every step of the way whether she likes it or not .. thank you very much..
hi, i've recently been diagnosed myself, i'm only 19 and its a scary thought to think what might face me when i'm older and i want to have a family... i don't know too much about it yet... all i can say to you is how it made me feel, it's like although there are thousands of woman who have it... including Victoria Beckham! (sorry but i found that really shocking) it feels like your the only one who feels this way... and no one understands how much it is playing on your mind.. so it can make you feel quite alone. which is maybe how she feels sometimes when she is quiet, all i can recommend is lots of hugs and kisses.. also another thing, my boyfriend was always asking me 'are you ok? i know somethings up'.. and was probing me to talk about it.. thing is i had no idea what i wanted to say... even-though there was soo much on my mind. so sometimes saying nothing and just showing you understand my doing little gestures, like buying her flowers and just letting her know that you are there can be the most understanding thoughtful thing to do.. thats what my boyfriend does now an it means the world.
Aww, just tall her exactly what you just said and make her know that you are there for her throught the good times and the bad. Theres nothing that you can do to physically take it away, but you can encourage her and motivate her to fight this disease and be there to listen when she feels like she needs someone to talk to. For a woman, atleast me, just knowing that my man is concerned for how I feel and is willing to do anything to help, would make the burden seem a lot less and easier to go through. She is lucky to have you.. Just like I am thankful for my husband being there for me. He always tells me " This is not your problem, it's our problem and we'll get through this" just that statement alone..priceless!
Richard- anything and everything you can do to let her know that she is beautiful to you, is priceless. Some of us with PCOS struggle a lot with body image, and for you to make her understand that no matter what she thinks about her appearance, or condition- that you still love her, and find her attractive and beautiful, and that you WANT her- that she's not a sub-par choice.
But really- if she read what you have written in here- she should understand that you care.
__________________ Diagnosed September 2008.
Current Medications:
Spironolactone (in adjustment- 100mg made me dizzy)
Metformin 2000mg
Mirena IUD- placed 8/27/09
thank you very much for everyhting you have told me i really appreciate every response and all the info i get. im still extremely new to this and even though im only on the sidelines i still want to be a part of everything thats going on with my gf and help her in every way that i can possible. Thank you for your advice and concern and all the information you have given me
Richard, it sounds to me like you are doing all of the right things. You are a smart man, and sound very genuine. I think the most valuable thing you can give to her is, research what is best for her and what is the game plan is going to be. ie.. medications, lifestyle modifications (for me this is doing the Low Glycemic Diet... has done WONDERS for me!) exercising, etc.
The more informed you can be, the more you can help. The more you can help, the healthy and happier she'll be... the happier you'll be! I think you understand this, and that's wonderful! There is SO much to do to be pro-active about PCOS. It can be beat, I personally have done it all through the Low Glycemic diet, goggle it. Now of course this is a lifestyle change, I can't ever go off it. But it feels great to have found something that WORKS! It's wonderful, and once you understand what you can and cannot eat, there are SO many great things. I absolutely love it! That's another way you can help her.. if she chooses to go down a natural path with diet and exercise plan.
Mostly it's cutting out all the bad starchy carbs that slow your body down and store fat. There is literally a replacement for everything.. it's great. It's finding complex carbs that break down slower and don't raise your blood sugar, which makes you satisfied for longer, vs. simple carbs like white bread, white pasta, white rice, etc. So finding whole wheat pasta and breads, and brown rice. Low fat dairy, I do some non-fat dairy.. and most of it tastes wonderful! Very lean meats, lots of fruits and veggies. There are awesome recipes out there online. This is by far the tastiest food I've ever had, no joke! Food is amazing thing, good or bad.. in this case...very good. I cannot recommend it enough. Medication is easier, but from what I've seen doesn't come nearly as close to producing the results for deminishing symptoms, restoring a regular cycle, etc.
I don't know if your gf has weight to loose, but I certainly did and have lost 76 lbs since Sept. 07. Either way this is a great lifestyle modification for anyone with PCOS, and very healthy for people in general! I have about 40 lbs to go to be at my ideal weight and I finally feel great. Pretty much all of my symptoms are gone, including having a normal cycle and ovulation on my own (meaning I've never taken any medications) which is important even if you guys are not trying to concieve. Because it might be important in the future.. not to mention we do want our body's to operate correctly.
If you have any questions on behalf of everyone here, we can help. I have a blog for recipes, I'm just getting it started, if you would like that, let me know.
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Doing Low GI diet as of Sept. 07. DX with PCOS in Sept 07' as well.
Started at a size 24, now a size 14. My waist was 44", now it's 32".
I am on no medication, just diet and exercise.
Thank you all for your support and information! I encourage all of you to do a Low Glycemic diet!
Richard- It sounds to me like your gf is very lucky to have you. I was dx this past July and I am still learning as well. What helps me feel good is when my husband tells me that he wishes that it was him and not me and that he loves me no matter what and that I am beautiful.It does make you feel beautiful and special because you don't always fell that way and hearing it doesboot your self-esteem.It also makes me thankful that I have such a wonderful man in my life. Just by reading your message you seem just like him. I think that you are doing a great job already. Hang in there on the bad days and if your gf just wants to vent, just be there to listen. That means alot.(atleast to me)
I also agree with Bex89 when she said that even though many women have PCOS you still feel alone and you still feel like no one understands. For me this webite helped me feel a little more like I am not alone and there are women who do understand how I feel at times.
When it comes to PCOS every women who has it is a little different. It takes time for your body to get use to medication. How long has your gf been on YAz? Your body takes about 3 months to get use to birt control because it has to build up in your system, so if it hasn't been that long then I would tell her to hang in there if i has been alot longer then that then I would talk to the doctor about changing it to another form of birth control.
I hope this has helped you in someway.
Good luck to you both.
I have no doubt that your gf is a lucky lady to have a concerned and understanding guy in her life. The best thing my DH does for me is noticing the little things. Like if she changes her hair or gets her eyebrows done, let her know she looks great. Trust me a little complement from the one you love goes a long way for body image, at least for me.
Also, I know she is up and down and everywhere in between right now, but just keep being patient and caring. Many times my emotions go crazy with worrying about side effects of meds, treatment options, and my health future with PCOS. My DH often times just lets me cry on his shoulder and asks questions that let me know he is interested in my health.
This is no easy journey you all are on, but having a supportive person who makes you feel normal, and even beautiful, makes all the difference in the world! Keep up the good work, and remember to be patient!
WOW! You remind me of my BF. What he can do as a man that helps me the most is 2 things:
1. When I become extremely upset - let me know that he understands why I'm upset by explaining back to me what he KNOWS is upsetting me. That is EXCELLENT for a man to do. (it will shut up the "you don't know what I'm going thru" argument).
2. Don't let me flop around, feel sorry for myself, or let myself go b/c there's something "wrong" w/ me. Sometimes you have to "be the man" really and put your foot down and be firm, even if it hurts her feelings. For example if she used to dress up, go out & do things that made her or the 2 of you excited about life. Don't let her push those to the side out of fear or disappointment. Or out of worry for this disease. DEPRESSION is real, & makes everything about PCOS WORSE. Besides...if it's said out of love, deep down she will understand and thank you for it later.
Keep up the good HEART!
Sister GBO
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Just something about the yaz. I wasn't able to take the yaz for very long because it made me extremely emotional, depressed & sad. They switched me to another bcp that helped much better. You might get her to talk w/her dr about switching to something else to help w/the emotions.
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Personally I will never take Yaz or Yasmin again. I take Femcon Fe now. It's helped my mood "swings". It's working for me, perhaps suggest it to the doctor and see their opinion on it.
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I think anything you do or say to let her know that you are thinking about her and want to help her will help. I overheard my DH talking to some of his family about my PCOS and it was so nice to see that he does listen and knows about my illness!
I need info and advice... 
.. thank you very much..
