I need some good advice from the guys

dawn27 · 07-24-2002, 10:47 PM

Me and Dh have been TTC for about 7 months and in a few months we will go on clomid for a four month trial. We have different views on TTC. I dont really want to go past clomid because I am afraid of some herbal remedies, our insurance doesnt cover injectibles, and I dont know if I want to put my body through all that and spend all that money without a baby. Adoption is not a choice. He seems to think that we should keep on trying past clomid and put it on the visa and pay it off. I have talked to him about the possibility of us not being able to concieve even with all of the treatments. He has made comments on how he doesn't want to be the childless couple.

He has been checked out and he has no problems of his own and I feel if I dont go through all this stuff he might blame me down deep if we dont have children. He says he wont but I dont know how he really feels and if he is just trying not to hurt my feelings. We found out about this 3 months after we were married when I went off the pill to just let it happen naturally.

I want children just as much as he does however I am leary about some of the effects that might happen possibly from all of these fertility treatments. I guess I am jumping the gun a bit because we haven't even tried clomid yet and wont till November.

If you have any words of advice on this or how to talk to him about this I would appreciate it greatly.

Thanks

lovleylady300 · 07-28-2002, 04:47 PM

I do not think you are jumping the gun here one bit. These are things that need to be addressed and is better if done eariler on instead of in a doctors office while too many people are involved. Setting limits on TTC is a good thing. You must also face the fact (as i see you have ) that no miricles are being performed with fertility treatments. Simpily stated it works for some and not for others. I hope we are some of the ones it works for. My RE constantly tells me to be cautiously optimistic. He is not God, but will do his best with the skills he was blessed with and the challenges that face him. I am also in your boat here. My DH is fertile (sperm count:100,000). I have the issue here and he is (as well as me )very well aware of where the problem lies. My DH wants a baby REALLLLY bad and I am realizing with all the treatments I have been through latley that I Reallly what this baby thing as well. We have decided to do what it takes for us to concieve. But I am also one of the lucky ones whos insurance covers 100% up to 4 cycles if IVF (all meds included). If we were having to pay out of pocket--you better believe---that we would not be taking this as far medically as we have. I would be trying to use more natural, less expensive methods to have a baby such as low carbing, herbs, etc. Like my mother always says"Whats meant to be won't miss you" and I believe that is true no matter what cards you are delt. So my advice: Come to a MUTUAL agreement on how far to take this and do everything in you power to make it work (stop smoking, drugs, alcohol, keep stress levels down, eat right etc) Good luck to you and your DH and I will be sending some babydust your way..